Parents with young kids - what does your house look like?

[Anonymous]

One thing that really helps is that once you know you are done having kids, get ruthless about getting rid of stuff as soon as the youngest outgrows it. And while your at it, get ruthless about getting rid of things from your older kids the minute you know it’s not going to get passed down to a younger kid (assuming older kid is done with it).

It’s hard for kids at first but if you link it to them getting new stuff and make it a regular thing (I.e. do a clothing purge before school starts every fall, do a toy purge post-holidays and birthdays to make space for new things). You also have to use language that helps them see the pleasure of having things organized and of reducing how much stuff you have. Make sure that a clean and tidy house is something that augments happy family time (we call our nightly straightening “making the house cozy” and the kids look forward to turning on evening lights and things at the same time). Even my husband is indoctrinated at this point and no longer objects to getting rid of things or my organization projects. He used to roll his eyes a bit when I’d say I wanted to tackle the pantry or make the landing area by the front door more functional. But now he gets on board.

[Anonymous]

Ours are 3, 6 and 7, in a 2,100 sf (including basement) townhouse. Our house often looks like a bomb went off as well. There are a few things that I think would be improved for us if we had a bigger place, mostly because I would then have room for our boys to have a proper desk that they could actually keep stuff in instead of the tiny folding desk they currently share. But all in all, I agree with those who say the stuff expands to fill the space. My parents' house is twice the size of ours, with only two people instead of five, but their house is more cluttered than ours.

Toy rotation helps. Having, as much as possible, as designated place for things to go (and making sure the kids know where that is!) also helps. I find that identifying the things that really drive me nuts (paper in untidy piles!) and focusing on making sure those get cleaned up right away helps, too.

[Anonymous]

Disaster area!

[Anonymous]

At any given time, some portion of the house is clean, but rarely is the whole house clean at once.

[Anonymous]

OP being home all the time sucks and makes it hard for sure. We have a 4 YO and 18 MO in 2000 sq ft. 4 of us are home 24/7 because of COVID. Here’s what works for us. We ruthlessly purge, have a bin organizer and closet with organizer in the playroom. We never have more toys than could fit in the closet or in the bins. If we do, we purge something. We work with DS (4) to clean up his toys every night. They all get put away every night as an expectation. It really cuts down on things getting out of control and only takes 10-15 minutes working together.

Like another PP said we have hooks for their coats, a box for hats/mittens/ masks, a place for shoes. Everything gets put away immediately upon entering the house.

Only can eat at the table. Any snack wrappers DS throws away. Plastic cups/plates he puts in the sink.

Our house isn’t perfect but it feels unchaotic and doesn’t feel like we’ve ceded complete control to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Our living room is messy with toys because we don't have a basement or separate playroom and we're still working on cleaning out old toys that the kids have outgrown.

The kids do a great job of keeping their rooms tidy -- they each have a big under bed storage thing, a bookshelf with toy baskets, and some closet space for their things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5 and 7. Same here. Our family room is a sea of toys. They clean it up on a routine basis, then it's messed up again within hours because they start playing again.

We've been less strict on this since they are stuck at home all the time.

Same here. Very small house. We have someone come in once a month to do a deep cleaning. Kids don't even have to try to trash it. Unless you want to follow them around with a mop and dust pan, it's very hard to keep clean.

[Anonymous]

Hahahahha. I live in 1500 sq feet including my basement with 3 kids. You have a huge house compared to mine!

[Anonymous]

I have a 4yo and 1.5yo in a 900 sq ft 2 bedroom. We have what I'd consider to be a lot of toys (enough to keep the kids playing together all day this weekend, when it was 20 degrees outside here in NY) but can get our place looking tidy in 15 minutes because it's so small. I wouldn't change a thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here who was asking about the kids ages. I have a 3 & 6 year old so similar ages, though I understand a 1 year old would really throw a wrench in things...

A year or so ago I was feeling the same way as you, and realized that the preschool that my kids went to doesn't look like a shit show, and there's good reason for that.

The reason, IMO, is consistency and routine.

I started 1 thing at a time and focused on it exclusively until it became a part of their lives, and then I moved on to the next thing.

So for example, I noticed when the kids all went into the preschool, they took their shoes off, put them in the cubby, hung up their coats on the hook over their cubby etc etc.

There was a spot for everything. It was clear where everything needed to go. And the teachers helped each student learn the process until it became second nature.

I basically implemented that at home. Now when they come in, their shoes come off and go into a bin, their coats go on these little hooks, and their hats/glasses/whatever go into this drawer.

At first, I had to physically block and redirect them every time they went into the house and guide them through the steps. But then it becomes a habit and they don't even think about it anymore. It's just how it's done.

So my suggestion is to divide into regions, and have a clear plan for each area.

Play room: Maybe things just go in bins and you give up on keeping everything in a "spot".

Living room / Dining room: Maybe you say this is a no toy zone, and any toys left out in these areas will be put away for a while

Bed rooms: Give each kid 3 bins plus a small shelving unit to display stuff. Before the kids get their video time, rooms must be tidied (or whatever the carrot is).

This is what we did as well and it’s been life changing. The house is always tidy, or 10 minutes away from being tidy. I was not a tidy person before kids, so is has required training on all sides.

I started with them clearing the table after meals.
Then putting away coats/shoes as soon as we come in the house.
And we added:
feeding the dog.
making sure all clothes are in the hamper and then hamper in the laundry room
cleaning their own school space before the weekend starts
Cleaning room entirely
Keeping bathroom sink clean

Delegate to your kids. It may take a little more work short term but is worth it.

[Anonymous]

My suggestion is to train your kids.

1. When you finish with something you put it away.
2. If you see something out of place you put it where it goes.

You want to dump 64 crayons out on the floor so you can "see them all better"? Fine, but you're the one who'll be putting them back in the box.

And OP, if you see your child wandering away from a mess, call them back to it. If it's nap time or you have to leave the house, leave the mess and when they're back they clean it up first thing.

It is 4:30 where I am and one kid is reading on the floor in the living room while another stands on the porch (it's raining) doing a dramatic mashup of Let It Go and On My Own at the top of her lungs while wearing a tutu and holding an umbrella.

[Anonymous]

Living room and kitchen - these are the main family living space and we try to keep them neat. We do a 30-60 second straightening when moving to another space so it's not destroyed the next time we come back. Plates in dishwasher, devices on the charging station. We have a few toys in one living room cabinet (and previously a basket of toys hiding behind the couch) and one container of craft supplies in the kitchen, but otherwise these spaces look presentable.

The kids' bedrooms are often a mess, but we can close the doors. The 6yo can (roughly) make her bed. I make the 4 yo's bed, and he does the pillows. Lately, we've been asking them to "clean their rooms for 10 minutes" instead of "clean their rooms" and we have been met with MUCH less resistance and end up with actually clean rooms!

I have to make my bed during the week or else I freak out from the chaos of work and school and the whole house being a mess. I need my room to feel calm. Sometimes I leave the bed unmade and it comes back to bite me later.

The playroom, which we are lucky to have, is often an epic disaster. That's just how it has to be during covid. I cannot clean all the time. It's too much to beg the kids to clean it and I always have to help them. I just have to look away. It's probably clean once a month for an hour.

To keep my sanity, I often find a small part of the house to declutter on the weekends. It helps because 1) it gives me a tiny sense of control and 2) it decreases the number of landmines that might cause me to absolutely lose my shit if encountered mid-week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do sympathize, but I think that 2,600 is plenty large for a 5 person family, and I don't think a larger house would actually solve your problem. The mess would just be spread out among a larger area.

How old are your kids?

They should be cleaning up after themselves to some extent. Depending on their ages, I can offer some suggestions.

Also, if you are in NW DC with that size home, you could absolutely sell it and move somewhere with a huge house and a lot of land, if that's what you really wanted.

Because its THAT easy.

Who said anything about it being easy? Just pointing out that if she really wants a McMansion she could probably swing it. Of course she said DC in the initial post so I take it back anyway.

[Anonymous]

Np here. 1100 sq feet apartment. My girls - 3 and 8 - share a room. Because the 8 year old does remote learning from her room it’s stayed pretty clean this year. The 3 year old is in our bedroom or the living room (where I also have my desk / work) all day and those are disaster areas. In non-covid times I would be able to hire a babysitter or pick up a little while they’re out of the house but our home is just a disaster in general. The kitchen and girls’ room and my desk were all MAJORLY helped when I hired a professional organizer pre-covid. I hope to have her back in to help with other spaces as soon as we are comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

Two kids- almost 7 and 1. Our place is tidy or very quick to clean. We moved recently and I left 90% of the toys boxed up. Nobody misses them. We regularly use some favorite art supplies, some favorite books, a few pretty scarves for dancing and dress up and some balls. The tidiness is glorious. Their favorite shared toy is a portable speaker that they use to dance together and jump around.

get rid of the toys and don't look back.