Anonymous wrote:I don’t know op. You trust these friends enough so that you include them in “your bubble”. You do know that you have no way to know how “fine” they are right? You only think you know because you trust them.
That being said, you can host or not host anybody you’d like. That hasn’t changed with covid.
You did say that you want Thanksgiving to be “fun for the kids”. The people you are excluding are the uncle and maybe future aunt of kids whom you like and trust enough to include in your bubble.
Don’t think for a minute that your decision whatever you do won’t impact them.
The kids may really want to see their uncle and aunt. I know mine would. We also have two sets of aunts and uncles who do not have children, a status you seem to frown upon. Know that there isn’t much for people to do this Thanksgiving and that the brother and girlfriend may really be looking forward to seeing their nieces and nephews if not your own kids.
It sounds creepy to say it given all the uncle niece jokes, but I can tell by watching my kids’ aunts and uncles, they’d be sad if not hurt at not being able to see their nieces and nephews. I don’t talk about it much, and the world treats people without children as “well, they have all this free time, they don’t need family time” when these aunts and uncles may need time with nieces and nephews in a way that is very deep and personal.
If you don’t host them due to covid, plan on something like the following happening.
You say “happy Thanksgiving” and one of the kids says “no it isn’t, Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane aren’t here”.
Or “one of your friends kids brings a book and says to your kid “I’m not playing with you, your mom told my mom Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane might have covid so they aren’t allowed to enjoy Thanksgiving”.
Or, when the kids are old enough, they will tell their parents they don’t want to see you.
My kids can and probably would do all of these. Actually, my kids would probably start coughing and talking about how they feel like they have a fever just to f**ck with you.
Or, you will think everything is fine only to have one of the kids as an adult tell their children about Covid and say “I remember Covid, we hung out with Sally and Jack and their kids. In many ways it wasn’t too bad. Then Thanksgiving happened, and I’ll never forget how they wouldn’t host Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane, saying they weren’t sure they were healthy… and I’ve never forgotten how mean that was, yes they were allowed not to host, but when I think of it, I go right back to my little kid self and I’ve hated Sally ever since”.
Pain isn’t rational and you can’t predict who you will hurt, in what way and how they will feel about you.
If I were you, and you really didn’t want to host the family members of people you claim to really like, (something that puzzles me) I’d tell this friend your oven or your furnace broke and you can’t host.
In other words, find a way to get out of hosting by blaming your house, blaming something that can happen to anybody. I’d vote for the furnace, that way nobody can say “but we’ll just bring lots of food” or “we’ll eat off paper plates”.
You aren’t wrong for not hosting the brother and girlfriend, you just need to find a way to do it in a way that is socially acceptable and won’t damage the friendship. I can guarantee you that if you go about it in the “my house my rules” method, this friendship will never be the same. You can treat people how you’d like but nobody has to agree to remain in a relationship with you if they feel that you have treated them or their family poorly. Your friendship and your bubble aren’t that awesome.
Boy. You have a lot of time on your hand.
Also, you and your family are so weird.
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