I hate that my son plays with Barbie dolls
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Anonymous
| That’s your misogyny unless your issue is how Barbie perpetuates harmful body ideals. Take it as a chance to become a better person. |
Anonymous
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I agree Barbie can bring some troubling images about body image, but assuming OPs concern is that her son is playing with girl toys or girl dolls generally...maybe this will help.
It is actually sort of problematic that Americans (and I think this is more true in our culture than others) encourage girls in play that involves relationships and interaction, which is how people usually play with dolls, and discourage boys from doing that, pushing them to balls or trucks instead, things with action. And then we fret when boys get disciplined more at school because they aren't as early in social regulation and some social cuing as girls often are. Isn't it a benefit for kids to experience all kinds of play? It seems like roleplaying and other sorts of social emotional play is good for all kids. |
Anonymous
PP here. You have your views and I have mine. Thankfully we live in a country that allows difference of opinions. I don’t have a problem with an adult changing genders, but when I see toddlers “ switching genders” I do see that as child abuse. The Texas pediatrician who wants to get her 7 year old son medically castrated is child abuse. A child has a wild imagination and they aren’t capable to make such life changing decisions. I think the parents are doing a terrible job when they push their young child to be a girl or a boy just because they decided they wanted to or play with a gender specific toy. |
Anonymous
Agree 100%! I have no issue whatsoever with adults wanting to do surgery and changing genders or even older teens wanting to be switch (no surgery though). But young children or even older kids? No way Jose! My 5y old says she is a boy or that she wants to be a boy like her father every other week. And when she is not at it, she is claiming she is a princess and never wants to be a boy "girls rule boys droll." Loves to wear her skirts and sparking stuff - VERY GIRLY. So yeah, how can you trust a little kid what they say about this? It is a kids' prerogative to say these wild type of things. Who cares? It is a little kid? And then you have someone like Charlize Theron who does what she is doing. |
Anonymous
At three my son told me that he wanted to be a woman when he grows up. He was really into Frozen and princesses. At four he still likes Frozen, but he tells me that he is a boy and will grow up to be like daddy. If I had embraced the transgender child doctrine then I might have assumed that my son was "a girl brain trapped in a boy's body" and reinforced this by referring to him as a girl and telling everyone he was a girl, etc. Instead I reinforced the message that boys can like princesses and dress up too, and that doesn't make him a girl. I believe that many young kids are confused about gender because they're sensitive to all the polarizing gender stereotypes our society throws at them. |
Anonymous
I have to say that I agree with this. I am gay and while I will certainly support my son whether he is straight, gay, or trans, I hope that he is straight so that he has it easier in live than me. That being said, playing with dolls at 7 is probably not indicative of anything, unless there are other signs and are you simply using the dolls to make your point. Hang in there, OP. It's ok to want an easier life for your children as long as you love and support them if they go down the thornier path instead. |
Anonymous
| I swear, half the women on this site sound like they're straight out of the 1950s. I don't know anyone like OP and her ilk IRL. |
Anonymous
I'm so offended that you used the term woman. Step out of your cis het privilege. |
Anonymous
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It's hard. Hard to let your kid be their 'whole' selves. I have come across enough broken people - in big and small ways to stay the course. I have two boys that have requested singularly or as a pair:
- Pink cast with broken bone - Barbie airplanes (used to hold all sorts of toy people/animals) - Barbie doll (wanted one that looked like his Mom, gave the doll away to a girl cousin) - Lots of hot wheels, trucks and nurf guns I definitely have to beat back some instincts in the interest of parenting. But I don't think you can make a kid gay or transgender (I'd be ok with either, I'd like to think). I had a friend give me a hand-me-down bib years ago. She handed it to me and said 'It's pink' but I know you don't care. I literally decided to try to be that person she thought I was. That's helped. |
Anonymous
Ha! I’m not the PP, but Are you talking about practically everyone since the start of humanity until now? |
Anonymous
| OP, you sound like my mom. Guess what? My brother is gay. You might as well accept that as a possibility. I am not saying playing with dolls = a boy is definitely gay, I'm just saying that you need to let go of your preconceived notions of who your boy "should be" and accept him AS HE IS. |
Anonymous
So you have a very non-diverse set of friends? You must be super woke. |
Anonymous
I think this is a really good point. We say we want our boys to have better SEL skills, but we guide them away from toys and play that help develop it. |
Anonymous
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I played with Barbies so much as a kid. My favorite one was the one I called “Barbara,” who was a librarian who lived alone in the big city and went out to eat at French restaurants. Role playing with Barbie—or any doll—helps children develop social-emotional skills such as empathy & negotiation.
I wish my boy played with dolls more. He does play with my old ponies, action figures, animals, etc. |
Anonymous
| Pretty funny how so many are attacking OP when they're also posting about how they want to be able to choose their child's gender, are disappointed with what they are having, etc. What if that boy your husband so desperately wants plays with Barbies? Or the girl you want to go wedding dress shopping with is more of the Rosie O'Donnell type? |