What do you miss about the little kid years (ages 1-4)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a point at which they don't crawl up and sit inth your lap anymore, or reach out and grab your hand with their little one when you are walking. I miss those things; you never know when it's happening that it's the last time, so savor them all.

This hit me in the nostalgic gut. I loved feeling the automatic hand reaching for mine.

That one's great. My 6 yo still does it and my 10 yo does it sometimes, but I know the days are numbered.

[Anonymous]

I'm mid 40s and still in the young children phase. Mine are 6 and 3. The younger years are HARD, especially during the second one's first year. I'm sorry you're in this stage during a pandemic, which means you probably don't get much help or relief from outside your home. The days do get better. I'm sad that I can't really recall what DS1's toddler years were like--they seemed a blur now, though at the time (not that long ago!) the days felt interminable. His hands are already a boy's hands, no baby fat anymore. I miss holding his pudgy hands so much. One thing I'm doing more of is recording their voices. The 3 year old still has a really babyish sweet voice and I don't want to forget it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah the snuggles. Nothing better than a tiny person snuggling you totally unselfconsciously. I get it- it’s exhausting and sometimes you get touched out. But those sweet little snuggles are honestly the best.

Yes, the snuggles. Holding them and having them fall asleep against your chest. Bending over and kissing them on top of their head. Being able to still pick them up. I think I loved the ages 5-6 the most. My kids are in their late 20s now.

[Anonymous]

That they will crawl all over you, and cuddle with you with no restraint. As they get older, they eventually decide that is "babyish."

That they are so happy. Joy, wonder and silliness are always right below the surface. So unlike being an adult.

Finally, I love their honesty. Once they can talk, you find out what they are thinking totally candidly. They have not learned to edit what they say, for social acceptability or manipulation. It is beautiful in its purity. And often hilarious.

Enjoy each phase, because they are all a blessing, in their own ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How easy and cheap Christmas shopping was. Kids want things like umbrellas and oranges. They’re delighted with the littlest things.

Oh yeah, I forgot this advantage! No new iphone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am drowning and miserable with my 1 year old and 4 year old. I often don’t feel up to the task of raising them and sometimes regret having them. I do love them, deeply, but I find mothering them impossibly hard.

I don’t have parents to ask. I was not parented very well myself and my parents aren’t in my life.

What do you miss about ages 1-4, now that your kids are grown? I feel like I’m missing it completely, every minute of the day I’m counting down til bedtime, and yearning for them to be older, for this excruciating phase of life to shift or change or end.

Maybe if you tell me what you miss, I can try to pay attention to it, and embed some nice memories into my brain to enjoy later. Maybe for a moment or two it will feel less hard.

It is very draining since you have to put them first.

Can you take a break somehow? Can your husband take over for a day when you indulge yourself. Or for an hour so you can take a walk or a bath? Or could you take turns sitting with another mom, if there is a family you feel safe doing that with during the pandemic?

It can be exhausting for sure. but it goes fast, I promise. (As a wise woman said: when your kids are little, the days go slow but the years go fast!)

[Anonymous]

I miss my daughter's round silky belly (as in baby/toddler belly).

[Anonymous]

How healthy of you to pose the question. Trying to get perspective a a very evolved instinct!

I am glad that it is yielding what you wanted.

I will throw in, I liked when they went to bed early (like 7:30 or 8:30), so I had a few hours to myself each day(often to do things I would not in front of them: eat junk food and watch trash TV!). Now my college age daughter knows about my vices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just today, I was out running errands, sitting at a red light when I saw an old cemetery next to a church. I laughed out loud when I remembered my then 3 year old exclaimed, “ Look Mommy, a gravy yard!” I miss their little voices.

Instead of "you crack me up," my toddler use to say "You crack me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going for walks, pushing them on the swings at the park, reading to them every night, picking out their clothes.

Yeah! I mean, I agree with the snuggles and the love and innocence and all that, but this was one complete frivolity that was really fun. There are certain things that only little toddlers can wear that are so cute -- overalls and shortalls and rompers and things with ruffly butts. I had a lot of fun dressing my kids, not in fussy dressy clothes, but in fun everyday clothes that I thought were cute, like little dolls. And they were too young to have an opinion or care. Now they are older and definitely have ideas about clothes that differ from mine -- a lot more glitter or a lot more mixing of patterns and colors than I would necessarily deem stylish.[/quote

Yes!! The summer rompers and little girls dresses (like for Easter) and ruffles on the underpants.
And the hair bows. You guys are killing me.

I don't think my daughter OWNS a dress now, nor will she wear make up or any hairstyle but a ponytail.

Mind you, I am pretty feminist, so I am glad she is not( frufru...BUT it was fun to dress her so cute for special occasions when she was little! )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you may want to ask Jeff whether this should move to a different forum?

NO please. It is so refreshing to have something on here that is not about coffins or dementia!

[Anonymous]

They just love you so much. It’s unbelievable how much they love you, how easily they share themselves.

And that age was a great time to really slow down, soak them up, just move through the day together.

I used to fall asleep every night thinking, what was the gift in this day? My answer was always something simple & sweet. The way my kid devoured his first mango, the way his little arms snuggled me when I hit my shin.

Such a wonderful, exhausting, life changing time.

[Anonymous]

1-4? they are cute? They don't cost a lot? They go to bed before you, instead of making you wake up in a cold sweat at 3 am wondering where they are? They don't drive or have sex or drink, or need college tuition?

Can you tell mine are 18 and 21?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how they still think I'm perfect and that I'm the best thing ever. And all the kisses!!! Maybe my daughters will hug and kiss me when they grow up, but I know sons don't. And how soft their skin is as babies.

My 18 year old son still leans down sometimes to kiss the top of my head. It goes by in a blur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I didn't love those years. I'm one of those parents who has enjoyed the ride more as the kids have gotten older -- even the teen years, yes. But one thing I loved and that my kids still remember with pleasure is that every night the whole family cuddled on our "big bed" and read books. My youngest is now in college and the oldest in medical school and all three have done a thorough culling of their childhood bedrooms as DH and I prepare to downsize, but each one chose to keep so many of their childhood books.

This is beautiful.