What is your 14 yo’s curfew right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old is a great kid, but no way would I let him hang out with friends without us there during Covid. They all forget because humans are naturally social. Even when we have gotten together as families from a distance with our kids' friends families we have to remind them to stay apart. They naturally move toward eachother.

If Covid weren't an issue we still would expect our kid inside before it gets dark. There is nothing they can be doing outside in the dark. We live near woods so we have all sorts of creatures roaming some of which are nocturnal.

Are you kidding me? So your 14 y.o. is not riding the bikes in parks or trails with friends, not skateboarding, not practicing sports, not going for walks or hikes without you?

Creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During COVID a 14 year old has no business thinking they can do whatever/wherever and just be home at 9pm/10pm.

On weeknights, during COVID, you are home for dinner and you stay home unless you are doing HW with a neighbor in your grade on the porch or something. You want to watch tv or have extra screen time AFTER your work is done? Ok, fine.

Weekends, 10pm or even 11pm is fine...but activities need to be approved/monitored.

Finally sanity!

Oh, how predictable. Yet another poster shrieking "finally sanity!" when what they really mean is "finally someone who agrees with me!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

My son was entering sophomore year of HS the summer he was 14 - not in middle school. OP didn't mention whether we are talking about a redshirted 8th grader, a HS frewshman, or a HS sophomore who will be 15 next month. I would probably give them different curfews.

It's important to know where your kid is and what they're up to, but I don't think there is any specific curfew that's right for every kid and family.

My kid turned 14 two months into 8th grade. She was not redshirted.

[Anonymous]

No curfew, because he doesn’t leave the house in the evening, except to walk the dog with us.

Also, none of us socialize in person right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

My son was entering sophomore year of HS the summer he was 14 - not in middle school. OP didn't mention whether we are talking about a redshirted 8th grader, a HS frewshman, or a HS sophomore who will be 15 next month. I would probably give them different curfews.

It's important to know where your kid is and what they're up to, but I don't think there is any specific curfew that's right for every kid and family.

My kid turned 14 two months into 8th grade. She was not redshirted.

Then what happended so that she was 6 the same September she started kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

OMG this pandemic will never end with parent like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

My son was entering sophomore year of HS the summer he was 14 - not in middle school. OP didn't mention whether we are talking about a redshirted 8th grader, a HS frewshman, or a HS sophomore who will be 15 next month. I would probably give them different curfews.

It's important to know where your kid is and what they're up to, but I don't think there is any specific curfew that's right for every kid and family.

My kid turned 14 two months into 8th grade. She was not redshirted.

Then what happended so that she was 6 the same September she started kindergarten?

PP here. She was not. I’m just clarifying that it’s possible to be 14 for nearly all of 8th grade. Our district has a sept 1st cutoff so yes, some of her friends were 6 the same September they started K. My daughter was entering sophomore year of high school the summer she was 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

My son was entering sophomore year of HS the summer he was 14 - not in middle school. OP didn't mention whether we are talking about a redshirted 8th grader, a HS frewshman, or a HS sophomore who will be 15 next month. I would probably give them different curfews.

It's important to know where your kid is and what they're up to, but I don't think there is any specific curfew that's right for every kid and family.

My kid turned 14 two months into 8th grade. She was not redshirted.

Then what happended so that she was 6 the same September she started kindergarten?

Are you from around here? The local K cut offs are 5 by 9/1 and 9/30. If you are not 5 on 9/1 or 9/30, then you cannot go to school that year; so when school starts next year, you turn 6 at the beginning of K; which means you turn 14 at the beginning of 8th grade. All Fall birthday kids turn 14 at the beginning of 8th. The youngest kid in any class based on straight cut offs here is the kid who turns 5 on 9/29 (and isn't held back), and that kid will turn 14 the day before starting 9th. To turn 14 the summer before 10th grade means you started K a year early right after turning 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG this pandemic will never end with parent like this.

THIS. Dear god, parents. Do you think your 14 year old is capable to maintaining social distance when unsupervised by adults at night? Do you want to buy a bridge?
Our highly social 14 year old is at home, playing video games online with his friends. He stays up until midnight, which is fine, since school doesn't start for us until after Labor Day. He only goes out to exercise--by himself--or on family hikes, walks, bike rides, etc. Pre-covid, he went to birthday parties and sleepovers on a regular basis, so we are not anti-social parents. Thankfully, none of the other parents in our peer group seem to be allowing their freshmen out, either. We all believe in science and several of us are physicians. We need to stop the spread of the virus until we have a vaccine. That means staying home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG this pandemic will never end with parent like this.

THIS. Dear god, parents. Do you think your 14 year old is capable to maintaining social distance when unsupervised by adults at night? Do you want to buy a bridge?
Our highly social 14 year old is at home, playing video games online with his friends. He stays up until midnight, which is fine, since school doesn't start for us until after Labor Day. He only goes out to exercise--by himself--or on family hikes, walks, bike rides, etc. Pre-covid, he went to birthday parties and sleepovers on a regular basis, so we are not anti-social parents. Thankfully, none of the other parents in our peer group seem to be allowing their freshmen out, either. We all believe in science and several of us are physicians. We need to stop the spread of the virus until we have a vaccine. That means staying home.

So what happens when we do not get a reliable vaccine? You are going to stay at home for the another year? Wear your mask, wash your hands, and allow your 14-year-old to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Is this for real? 14? How the hell is he getting around? WTF about Covid? Seriously what the hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real? 14? How the hell is he getting around? WTF about Covid? Seriously what the hell?

I’m not supporting going out right now but unfortunately most teens I know are acting as if there’s no pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG this pandemic will never end with parent like this.

THIS. Dear god, parents. Do you think your 14 year old is capable to maintaining social distance when unsupervised by adults at night? Do you want to buy a bridge?
Our highly social 14 year old is at home, playing video games online with his friends. He stays up until midnight, which is fine, since school doesn't start for us until after Labor Day. He only goes out to exercise--by himself--or on family hikes, walks, bike rides, etc. Pre-covid, he went to birthday parties and sleepovers on a regular basis, so we are not anti-social parents. Thankfully, none of the other parents in our peer group seem to be allowing their freshmen out, either. We all believe in science and several of us are physicians. We need to stop the spread of the virus until we have a vaccine. That means staying home.

If you look at what is going on, most adults let alone teens/kids are distancing and that's how it spreads. We aren't having our kids see anyone in person. My kid is 10 and fully understands how bad it is and the consequences of catching it and is ok with it. Life will resume at some point when most everyone is dead or people start to take it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG this pandemic will never end with parent like this.

THIS. Dear god, parents. Do you think your 14 year old is capable to maintaining social distance when unsupervised by adults at night? Do you want to buy a bridge?
Our highly social 14 year old is at home, playing video games online with his friends. He stays up until midnight, which is fine, since school doesn't start for us until after Labor Day. He only goes out to exercise--by himself--or on family hikes, walks, bike rides, etc. Pre-covid, he went to birthday parties and sleepovers on a regular basis, so we are not anti-social parents. Thankfully, none of the other parents in our peer group seem to be allowing their freshmen out, either. We all believe in science and several of us are physicians. We need to stop the spread of the virus until we have a vaccine. That means staying home.

So what happens when we do not get a reliable vaccine? You are going to stay at home for the another year? Wear your mask, wash your hands, and allow your 14-year-old to do the same.

Yes, I am. So be it.

[Anonymous]

I don't get the idea of a child that young having a curfew, covid or not.

To me, a curfew is a blanket time when a kid needs to be home. So, for a kid who is no longer asking you permission to go each individual place, and who is transporting themselves home, it's the time they need to be home by.

But for my 13 year old, and I anticipate this will still be the same at 14, after dark they're only going specific places that I have approved, and then they and I have worked out an agreement for how they'll get home and what time.

So, they might go play in a baseball game that runs after dark, and the expectation is that when it's over they come home. If a teammate says "we're going to the diner, want to come" they call me and we make a plan for what time we'll pick them up from there. But it's not a blanket time that's the same for every event. It depends on the location, and the transportation plan, and because I anticipate that adults will be involved in the transportation part a fair amount, then it depends on the adult convenience.