What is your 14 yo’s curfew right now?

[Anonymous]

During COVID a 14 year old has no business thinking they can do whatever/wherever and just be home at 9pm/10pm.

On weeknights, during COVID, you are home for dinner and you stay home unless you are doing HW with a neighbor in your grade on the porch or something. You want to watch tv or have extra screen time AFTER your work is done? Ok, fine.

Weekends, 10pm or even 11pm is fine...but activities need to be approved/monitored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 or 9 in clock no reason for a 14 year old to just be hanging out until 10 or midnight, that's almost a guarantee they are with people and doing things they shouldn't be at that age.

8pm? What?? I know it’s covid but most bdays and events my kid was invited to at that age didn’t start until 6-7pm.

Did I stutter? 8 or 9 pm. OP''s post said nothing about a birthday party, and I stand by my assertion that a party or anything else that would keep a 14 year old out past 10 pm is likely not any place appropriate for a 14 year old.

I feel very bad for your kid.

I agree completely with the first PP. your child was in MS a year ago. Why should they be out late? What would they be doing, covid aside, at that hour that would in any way be productive in their lives. I see kids drinking, smoking pot, sexual activity as the TV in Hs that are potentially more likely in a kids future who roams around without an early curfew and frankly parental connection and involvement. These are the kids who have therapy in their future if they’ll be able to afford it.also Life360 is a must if your child is out roaming around at that age. For safety.

I’m the one who thinks the first PP is smothering her kid. If your kid can’t stay at a friend’s until 10pm you’re smothering. My youngest kid just finished MS but I am referring to my older kids who are young adults.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow my 14yo to be out late given Covid. My DS meets friends at pool at times and has had a few outdoor activities with a friend but I I don’t allow him to gather with a group of friends at someone’s house. I don’t think that is safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During COVID a 14 year old has no business thinking they can do whatever/wherever and just be home at 9pm/10pm.

On weeknights, during COVID, you are home for dinner and you stay home unless you are doing HW with a neighbor in your grade on the porch or something. You want to watch tv or have extra screen time AFTER your work is done? Ok, fine.

Weekends, 10pm or even 11pm is fine...but activities need to be approved/monitored.

Finally sanity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 or 9 in clock no reason for a 14 year old to just be hanging out until 10 or midnight, that's almost a guarantee they are with people and doing things they shouldn't be at that age.

8pm? What?? I know it’s covid but most bdays and events my kid was invited to at that age didn’t start until 6-7pm.

Did I stutter? 8 or 9 pm. OP''s post said nothing about a birthday party, and I stand by my assertion that a party or anything else that would keep a 14 year old out past 10 pm is likely not any place appropriate for a 14 year old.

I feel very bad for your kid.

I agree completely with the first PP. your child was in MS a year ago. Why should they be out late? What would they be doing, covid aside, at that hour that would in any way be productive in their lives. I see kids drinking, smoking pot, sexual activity as the TV in Hs that are potentially more likely in a kids future who roams around without an early curfew and frankly parental connection and involvement. These are the kids who have therapy in their future if they’ll be able to afford it.also Life360 is a must if your child is out roaming around at that age. For safety.

I’m the one who thinks the first PP is smothering her kid. If your kid can’t stay at a friend’s until 10pm you’re smothering. My youngest kid just finished MS but I am referring to my older kids who are young adults.

First pp. You do what you want with your kid, and I'll do what you want with mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During COVID a 14 year old has no business thinking they can do whatever/wherever and just be home at 9pm/10pm.

On weeknights, during COVID, you are home for dinner and you stay home unless you are doing HW with a neighbor in your grade on the porch or something. You want to watch tv or have extra screen time AFTER your work is done? Ok, fine.

Weekends, 10pm or even 11pm is fine...but activities need to be approved/monitored.

Finally sanity!

Someone is an insecure parent.

[Anonymous]

We have two older children who are happy, healthy late twenty-somethings that are unscarred by not having curfews later than 8 pm school nights and 10 pm on non school nights as 14 year olds during pre-Covid times. If something exceptional came up that necessitated a later curfew, they were under the direction supervision of a trusted adult the entire time. For example, fireworks on the 4th of July where the show started at 10 pm and ended at 11.

Our younger two know they are not going to negotiate a better deal in the middle of a pandemic and political unrest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two older children who are happy, healthy late twenty-somethings that are unscarred by not having curfews later than 8 pm school nights and 10 pm on non school nights as 14 year olds during pre-Covid times. If something exceptional came up that necessitated a later curfew, they were under the direction supervision of a trusted adult the entire time. For example, fireworks on the 4th of July where the show started at 10 pm and ended at 11.

Our younger two know they are not going to negotiate a better deal in the middle of a pandemic and political unrest.

I think this is reasonable for a 14 year old , thouhg I'd stricter on weekends renegotiate as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 or 9 in clock no reason for a 14 year old to just be hanging out until 10 or midnight, that's almost a guarantee they are with people and doing things they shouldn't be at that age.

8pm? What?? I know it’s covid but most bdays and events my kid was invited to at that age didn’t start until 6-7pm.

Did I stutter? 8 or 9 pm. OP''s post said nothing about a birthday party, and I stand by my assertion that a party or anything else that would keep a 14 year old out past 10 pm is likely not any place appropriate for a 14 year old.

I feel very bad for your kid.

I agree completely with the first PP. your child was in MS a year ago. Why should they be out late? What would they be doing, covid aside, at that hour that would in any way be productive in their lives. I see kids drinking, smoking pot, sexual activity as the TV in Hs that are potentially more likely in a kids future who roams around without an early curfew and frankly parental connection and involvement. These are the kids who have therapy in their future if they’ll be able to afford it.also Life360 is a must if your child is out roaming around at that age. For safety.

I’m the one who thinks the first PP is smothering her kid. If your kid can’t stay at a friend’s until 10pm you’re smothering. My youngest kid just finished MS but I am referring to my older kids who are young adults.

First pp. You do what you want with your kid, and I'll do what you want with mine.

Says the judgy mom. Hypocrite much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 or 9 in clock no reason for a 14 year old to just be hanging out until 10 or midnight, that's almost a guarantee they are with people and doing things they shouldn't be at that age.

8pm? What?? I know it’s covid but most bdays and events my kid was invited to at that age didn’t start until 6-7pm.

Did I stutter? 8 or 9 pm. OP''s post said nothing about a birthday party, and I stand by my assertion that a party or anything else that would keep a 14 year old out past 10 pm is likely not any place appropriate for a 14 year old.

I feel very bad for your kid.

I agree completely with the first PP. your child was in MS a year ago. Why should they be out late? What would they be doing, covid aside, at that hour that would in any way be productive in their lives. I see kids drinking, smoking pot, sexual activity as the TV in Hs that are potentially more likely in a kids future who roams around without an early curfew and frankly parental connection and involvement. These are the kids who have therapy in their future if they’ll be able to afford it.also Life360 is a must if your child is out roaming around at that age. For safety.

I’m the one who thinks the first PP is smothering her kid. If your kid can’t stay at a friend’s until 10pm you’re smothering. My youngest kid just finished MS but I am referring to my older kids who are young adults.

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 or 9 in clock no reason for a 14 year old to just be hanging out until 10 or midnight, that's almost a guarantee they are with people and doing things they shouldn't be at that age.

8pm? What?? I know it’s covid but most bdays and events my kid was invited to at that age didn’t start until 6-7pm.

Did I stutter? 8 or 9 pm. OP''s post said nothing about a birthday party, and I stand by my assertion that a party or anything else that would keep a 14 year old out past 10 pm is likely not any place appropriate for a 14 year old.

I feel very bad for your kid.

I agree completely with the first PP. your child was in MS a year ago. Why should they be out late? What would they be doing, covid aside, at that hour that would in any way be productive in their lives. I see kids drinking, smoking pot, sexual activity as the TV in Hs that are potentially more likely in a kids future who roams around without an early curfew and frankly parental connection and involvement. These are the kids who have therapy in their future if they’ll be able to afford it.also Life360 is a must if your child is out roaming around at that age. For safety.

I’m the one who thinks the first PP is smothering her kid. If your kid can’t stay at a friend’s until 10pm you’re smothering. My youngest kid just finished MS but I am referring to my older kids who are young adults.

First pp. You do what you want with your kid, and I'll do what you want with mine.

Says the judgy mom. Hypocrite much?

Judgy? Hardly. I said what I d do with my kid, and you took offense to that, went on a tirade about how I was smothering my kid, and how you feell bad for them, decided to call names. If anyone is being judgy and insecure it's you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old is a great kid, but no way would I let him hang out with friends without us there during Covid. They all forget because humans are naturally social. Even when we have gotten together as families from a distance with our kids' friends families we have to remind them to stay apart. They naturally move toward eachother.

If Covid weren't an issue we still would expect our kid inside before it gets dark. There is nothing they can be doing outside in the dark. We live near woods so we have all sorts of creatures roaming some of which are nocturnal.

Are you kidding me? So your 14 y.o. is not riding the bikes in parks or trails with friends, not skateboarding, not practicing sports, not going for walks or hikes without you?

[Anonymous]

You do you. Smothering? No, definitely not. I have attended enough expert seminars on this stuff from when I worked more with this age group. Wise parenting? Absolutely. Middle schoolers sometimes have worse judgements than their younger peers due to peer pressure and hormones. Plus, any decision about a kid has to take into account things like impulsivity, past history, emotional development level, etc.

My son was entering sophomore year of HS the summer he was 14 - not in middle school. OP didn't mention whether we are talking about a redshirted 8th grader, a HS frewshman, or a HS sophomore who will be 15 next month. I would probably give them different curfews.

It's important to know where your kid is and what they're up to, but I don't think there is any specific curfew that's right for every kid and family.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, you have a rough four years ahead of you. I’m not judging. I just dropped my oldest, most rule resistant teen off at college, happily with no tears, because of curfew fights and late nights over the past four years.


My now 14 year old daughter doesn’t have a curfew, because she doesn’t really go anywhere. She has sports practice one night a week and gets home around 9. A 17 year old friend brings her home, but I always know where she is if they make a stop enroute.

Good luck with your son.

[Anonymous]

On non-activity nights (no practice, birthday parties, high school game nights), just a regular old hanging out with friends, I go by grade level:

9pm - 9th
10pm - 10th
11pm - 11th
12pm - 12am

College aged adults should be home by 1am or in communication with the other adults about whereabouts. If I’m out late, you’d better believe I let my husband know, and vice versa. Grades must be up and homework done.

Communication is key. If you are out past curfew you’d better be somewhere safe and communicate with one of the parents.