Running laps as punishment

[Anonymous]

I have zero problems with a coach asking a kid to work on his skill as the consequence of him not participating/having poor attitude. My daughter does martial arts. If she's late for class, she has to stay later and do extra push-ups and sit-ups, which is great for conditioning. Kids lose their belt for the kind of behavior your son engaged in, and it can take weeks or months to earn it back (yes, with extra dedication and hard work).

OP, as a parent, I find your response to his appallingly rude behavior, even more problematic. In your shoes, I would have talked with my child about why his lack of participation and rudeness is not acceptable, explain to him the importance of cooperation in a team sport, and have him apologize to the coach and his teammates, the next time. Learning from mistakes and especially, learning to apologize sincerely, are all a part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

I've seen this happen multiple times with kids' activities. I agree with the coach, and whether they're saying it to your face or not, so do the other parents. Your kid sounds incredibly spoiled and mean. If I were you, I would have a serious talk with him about his unacceptable behavior, not ask a bunch of strangers if the coach's behavior was acceptable. Do you want your kid to be totally unlikeable? What a handicap. We have manners for a reason.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think there's a difference if your kid was just being snotty, or if he has anxiety and was really humiliated by not remembering the kid's name. Either way he obviously handled it badly and needs to learn his behavior wasn't acceptable or appropriate, but I think the underlying reasoning matters. From what you've said it sounds like the coach might've also handled it badly, although again it depends on his tone when he told your DS to ask the other kid's name.

Anyway it was probably just a flash in the pan and not worth worrying about. Your kid's going to have to learn how to deal with these incidents just like all the rest of us have had to. If you really think the coach is a jerk and your kid wants to quit, let him. Otherwise just try to let it go.

[Anonymous]

The coach is not mom or dad. He's not there to babysit your kid, he's there to teach him about teamwork and ensure safety, and, possibly as a bonus, help him have fun. But no one can have fun in a team if one of the kids behaves like your kid did. Sure, maybe the coach could have been "nicer," but he did nothing wrong whatsoever. I'm actually glad that there are still adults out there who expect polite behavior from kids. Sometimes I feel all our work with our kids is for nothing when I see how bratty some kids are and how accepted this is by their parents.

[Anonymous]

I think the coach handled it fine. What your son said was really rude and likely made his teammate feel bad. What would you have liked the coach to have done?

When my son was 9 he decided he wanted to be on a travel soccer team (he still plays travel at 12). When the kids messed up on drills they had to run a lap.

If your kid is on a rec team and you are unhappy with the coaching, step up and volunteer to coach yourself next year. If your kid is on a travel team, you'd better toughen up or this is not for you or your kid.

[Anonymous]

You should thank the coach for teaching your kid how to act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS 8 had his first soccer practice last night on a new team. The coach was playing some game trying to help the kids learn each other names. Like kick the ball and say their name. I’ll admit it was a little bit babyish. My DS couldn’t remember any of the names so coach pointed to a kid and said “hey, why don’t you ask him to tell you his name.” My DS was kind of rude and said “I don’t really care what his name is.” I think he just thought the game was silly. The coach got upset and made my DS dribble the ball around the soccer field once. Honestly this just upset my DS more and he was pretty mouthy the rest of the practice. I do not think the coach handled this way. My DS didn’t know a kids name, on the first day of practice, and then got embarrassed, so he said something stupid. DH thinks I should leave it alone, but the “running laps” As punishment thing is really bothering me. I didn’t think coaches still did that.

So you acknowledge your kid was disrespectful, not only to his coach but also to his teammate? And you are upset that running laps was the consequence? And he plays soccer, where there is a lot of running?

[Anonymous]

I think coach handled it very well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mind coach do that I’d my kid is too mouthy. However, I will be concerned about my child running a lap because he physically cannot complete it. That is the main reason we have been encouraging him to do more outdoor activities to build up stronger core & strength. He maybe able to pull it off with walking a lap, instead of running a nap.

What if a kid possibly cannot run a lap, what would a coach do? If a coach insists & my child faints in front of me, I would be super pissed.

If your kid is so out of shape that he can't run a lap he's unlikely to be on a soccer team in teh first place. If he is, then he really needs to be running the laps to be fit enough to play. Yes, even at 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds really bratty, OP--my 8yo would never mouth off at an adult like that. And that you're here defending him suggests it's an entrenched parenting problem.

Sounds like the coach was trying to humiliate the kid. The kid talked back.

No it sounds like the coach was trying to help him— if you can’t remember someone’s name it’s ok to ask

Agreed. He was trying to model social skills. Team coach. Let it lie, or leave quietly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS 8 had his first soccer practice last night on a new team. The coach was playing some game trying to help the kids learn each other names. Like kick the ball and say their name. I’ll admit it was a little bit babyish. My DS couldn’t remember any of the names so coach pointed to a kid and said “hey, why don’t you ask him to tell you his name.” My DS was kind of rude and said “I don’t really care what his name is.” I think he just thought the game was silly. The coach got upset and made my DS dribble the ball around the soccer field once. Honestly this just upset my DS more and he was pretty mouthy the rest of the practice. I do not think the coach handled this way. My DS didn’t know a kids name, on the first day of practice, and then got embarrassed, so he said something stupid. DH thinks I should leave it alone, but the “running laps” As punishment thing is really bothering me. I didn’t think coaches still did that.

Your husband is right. Your kid was rude. You don't like it? Pull your snowflake or become a coach yourself.

+1

The coach did an icebreaker to help learn names. Your kid couldn’t remember any names, so the coach told him to...ask. Your kid then acts like a jerk and says he doesn’t care what the kid’s name was. Did you even consider how the other kid might have felt after being dismissed by a teammate?

And...how dare you allow him to be mouthy the REST OF PRACTICE? Next time, take him home. The coach isn’t paid to do this, and then you allowed him to be a jerk the rest of practice? Come on, OP.

[Anonymous]

I've heard plenty of kids like yours on Zoom calls in the spring. I wish teachers made the brats run laps too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS 8 had his first soccer practice last night on a new team. The coach was playing some game trying to help the kids learn each other names. Like kick the ball and say their name. I’ll admit it was a little bit babyish. My DS couldn’t remember any of the names so coach pointed to a kid and said “hey, why don’t you ask him to tell you his name.” My DS was kind of rude and said “I don’t really care what his name is.” I think he just thought the game was silly. The coach got upset and made my DS dribble the ball around the soccer field once. Honestly this just upset my DS more and he was pretty mouthy the rest of the practice. I do not think the coach handled this way. My DS didn’t know a kids name, on the first day of practice, and then got embarrassed, so he said something stupid. DH thinks I should leave it alone, but the “running laps” As punishment thing is really bothering me. I didn’t think coaches still did that.

Your husband is right. Your kid was rude. You don't like it? Pull your snowflake or become a coach yourself.

+1

The coach did an icebreaker to help learn names. Your kid couldn’t remember any names, so the coach told him to...ask. Your kid then acts like a jerk and says he doesn’t care what the kid’s name was. Did you even consider how the other kid might have felt after being dismissed by a teammate?

And...how dare you allow him to be mouthy the REST OF PRACTICE? Next time, take him home. The coach isn’t paid to do this, and then you allowed him to be a jerk the rest of practice? Come on, OP.

This. OP, come on. Your kid was really rude and disrespectful, to the coach, his new teammate, and his new team. Shame on you for trying to wash away his bratty behavior and not use this experience as a teaching moment. Instead you want to punish the coach for having your kid dribble around the soccer pitch? Think about that, as it is messed up, and speaks volumes to your parenting style.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have your answer. DCUM almost never agrees, but we do here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mind coach do that I’d my kid is too mouthy. However, I will be concerned about my child running a lap because he physically cannot complete it. That is the main reason we have been encouraging him to do more outdoor activities to build up stronger core & strength. He maybe able to pull it off with walking a lap, instead of running a nap.

What if a kid possibly cannot run a lap, what would a coach do? If a coach insists & my child faints in front of me, I would be super pissed.

What kid would faint from running one lap around a soccer field?!

One who should probably not be on a soccer team since running is a key part of soccer.

Lol! I actually read soccer ran the most of all sports (aside from track of course)