Is everyone back in daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted. He said "get off your high horse". He needs to get off his high horse. We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men? That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted. He said "get off your high horse". He needs to get off his high horse. We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men? That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

OMG white parents who have the privilege to be able to have a stay at home parent should not equate that privilege with the racism black people face and the campaign by BLM. All lives matter is a true statement but is not appropriate because it is a direct challenge to the message that black people are being killed by cops. Don’t even try to act like a dad expressing the fact that dads experience the same hit to career as moms do when they stay at home is somehow equivalent to denying racism.

BTW stay at home dads are the minority and the structure of our society actually enables moms more options to stay at home than dads. Dads don’t have large networks of moms groups to connect with, are openly treated as suspicious when wanting to participate in kids activities, are not supported by other men who chose a more traditional path etc.

I’m willing to have an open mind, however. Can you please explain how a dad who stays at home is somehow more privileged by that choice than a mom? Because that is what we are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Did they require all kids in that class to get negative test before going back in case they were asymptomatic carriers?

This happened to my daycare, too, although it's been open since April. In our case, the kid developed symptoms while in care, was sent home, tested that day, results came back 2 days later, and the entire class was closed down for 2 weeks. People weren't required to get tested but many did. All were negative. Siblings of the kids in the affected class were also not allowed back for 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted. He said "get off your high horse". He needs to get off his high horse. We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men? That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

OMG white parents who have the privilege to be able to have a stay at home parent should not equate that privilege with the racism black people face and the campaign by BLM. All lives matter is a true statement but is not appropriate because it is a direct challenge to the message that black people are being killed by cops. Don’t even try to act like a dad expressing the fact that dads experience the same hit to career as moms do when they stay at home is somehow equivalent to denying racism.

BTW stay at home dads are the minority and the structure of our society actually enables moms more options to stay at home than dads. Dads don’t have large networks of moms groups to connect with, are openly treated as suspicious when wanting to participate in kids activities, are not supported by other men who chose a more traditional path etc.

I’m willing to have an open mind, however. Can you please explain how a dad who stays at home is somehow more privileged by that choice than a mom? Because that is what we are talking about.

Not at all what I said. I'm saying women are, in far larger numbers than men, being impacted by lack of access to child care. That's it. PP had a huge problem with that because he is impacted as well. So basically, pointing out that women are impacted is an affront to him.

Also, women pay a price for flexibility in the form of lower pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted. He said "get off your high horse". He needs to get off his high horse. We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men? That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

OMG white parents who have the privilege to be able to have a stay at home parent should not equate that privilege with the racism black people face and the campaign by BLM. All lives matter is a true statement but is not appropriate because it is a direct challenge to the message that black people are being killed by cops. Don’t even try to act like a dad expressing the fact that dads experience the same hit to career as moms do when they stay at home is somehow equivalent to denying racism.

BTW stay at home dads are the minority and the structure of our society actually enables moms more options to stay at home than dads. Dads don’t have large networks of moms groups to connect with, are openly treated as suspicious when wanting to participate in kids activities, are not supported by other men who chose a more traditional path etc.

I’m willing to have an open mind, however. Can you please explain how a dad who stays at home is somehow more privileged by that choice than a mom? Because that is what we are talking about.

Not at all what I said. I'm saying women are, in far larger numbers than men, being impacted by lack of access to child care. That's it. PP had a huge problem with that because he is impacted as well. So basically, pointing out that women are impacted is an affront to him.

Also, women pay a price for flexibility in the form of lower pay.

NP but all I got out of his comment was that he wanted your acknowledgement that there ARE dads out there making sacrifices for their families too. It may not have a large societal impact but men ARE impacted tool. In my own family, it's my husband who is considering quitting his job to look after our children, not me. So I 100% get where the male PP is coming from. My husband is sacrificing his career, it will be hard for him to get back into the work force in two years too. And male colleagues are going to look down on him for being the one that quits, for subjecting to his wife's career, etc... It's wrong of you to dismiss male concerns here, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like a lot of centers are opening back up. Ours is opening next week. We'll pay to hold the spot for August, and maybe September while we figure out what to do.

If my older one can't go to school in person, I'll need to rely on my mother for help with childcare and/or online school. So if the elementary aged kid is going to be home, it doesn't make sense to send my younger one in person and then have to cut off our main family support. So we may look at leaning on my mom and maybe hiring another babysitter to help with my 3 year old/online school to keep our risks low.

We just aren't sure yet, but I don't want to lose our spot because we may want to use it.

Can your mom handle two kids those ages and online school? I guess this depends on how active your mom is and how active your kids are and what their needs are.

I wouldn’t ask her to do both kids full time. But between me, my DH and my mom we could. And maybe we’d hire a sitter for a bit too. But it’s be less exposure than school.

[Anonymous]

our center reopened in July. Only half the kids returned for the 4 year old class. My kid is home. It still feels unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted. He said "get off your high horse". He needs to get off his high horse. We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men? That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

OMG white parents who have the privilege to be able to have a stay at home parent should not equate that privilege with the racism black people face and the campaign by BLM. All lives matter is a true statement but is not appropriate because it is a direct challenge to the message that black people are being killed by cops. Don’t even try to act like a dad expressing the fact that dads experience the same hit to career as moms do when they stay at home is somehow equivalent to denying racism.

BTW stay at home dads are the minority and the structure of our society actually enables moms more options to stay at home than dads. Dads don’t have large networks of moms groups to connect with, are openly treated as suspicious when wanting to participate in kids activities, are not supported by other men who chose a more traditional path etc.

I’m willing to have an open mind, however. Can you please explain how a dad who stays at home is somehow more privileged by that choice than a mom? Because that is what we are talking about.

Not at all what I said. I'm saying women are, in far larger numbers than men, being impacted by lack of access to child care. That's it. PP had a huge problem with that because he is impacted as well. So basically, pointing out that women are impacted is an affront to him.

Also, women pay a price for flexibility in the form of lower pay.

NP but all I got out of his comment was that he wanted your acknowledgement that there ARE dads out there making sacrifices for their families too. It may not have a large societal impact but men ARE impacted tool. In my own family, it's my husband who is considering quitting his job to look after our children, not me. So I 100% get where the male PP is coming from. My husband is sacrificing his career, it will be hard for him to get back into the work force in two years too. And male colleagues are going to look down on him for being the one that quits, for subjecting to his wife's career, etc... It's wrong of you to dismiss male concerns here, PP.

OP on this here. You vocalize how I feel way better than I could. Thank you. Seeing it typed out makes it easier to internally process how it feels too, tbh.

[Anonymous]

Hilarious that you all think acknowledging women means dismissing men. Ffs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious that you all think acknowledging women means dismissing men. Ffs

But acknowledging men is somehow interpreted as dismissing women by people here too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Did they require all kids in that class to get negative test before going back in case they were asymptomatic carriers?

No. A 14 day quarantine from date of last contact with the positive case. Most children got tested but a couple of their peds just recommended the quarantine as long as there were no symptoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Did they require all kids in that class to get negative test before going back in case they were asymptomatic carriers?

No. A 14 day quarantine from date of last contact with the positive case. Most children got tested but a couple of their peds just recommended the quarantine as long as there were no symptoms.

Why not get tested? Are there not enough tests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Did they require all kids in that class to get negative test before going back in case they were asymptomatic carriers?

No. A 14 day quarantine from date of last contact with the positive case. Most children got tested but a couple of their peds just recommended the quarantine as long as there were no symptoms.

Why not get tested? Are there not enough tests?

Mine said there is a big rush on them right now with college, vacations, etc. Ok for the moment but may not last long.

[Anonymous]

Our daycare reopened at the beginning of June. 4yo DD returned mid-June. 14wo DD started last week. I'm a nervous wreck over it, but we don't have any other good options at the moment, and our pediatrician didn't have any concerns, based on what we've been told regarding our center's protocols.
There's been one confirmed case so far, in one of the staff members. The school was closed for cleaning for 2 days. Children in her class were not asked to quarantine, since she had not been in the school in the 3 days prior to developing symptoms (occurred over a long weekend).