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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though :([/quote]

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's.  While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.[/quote]

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices.  It is structural.  Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less.  Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care.  You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman.  You're just not an a-hole.  Congratulations.[/quote]

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

[b]Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? [/b] The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?[/quote]

It's a massive imbalance. PP was offended by the idea that it is really by and large women impacted.  He said "get off your high horse".  He needs to get off his high horse.  We can't acknowledge women because otherwise we aren't acknowledging men?  That's some "not all men"/"all lives matter" BS.

[/quote]

OMG white parents who have the privilege to be able to have a stay at home parent should not equate that privilege with the racism black people face and the campaign by BLM. All lives matter is a true statement but is not appropriate because it is a direct challenge to the message that black people are being killed by cops. Don’t even try to act like a dad expressing the fact that dads experience the same hit to career as moms do when they stay at home is somehow equivalent to denying racism.

BTW stay at home dads are the minority and the structure of our society actually enables moms more options to stay at home than dads. Dads don’t have large networks of moms groups to connect with, are openly treated as suspicious when wanting to participate in kids activities, are not supported by other men who chose a more traditional path etc.

I’m willing to have an open mind, however. Can you please explain how a dad who stays at home is somehow more privileged by that choice than a mom? Because that is what we are talking about. [/quote]

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