Should we travel to see grandparents?

[Anonymous]

contagious disease expert... has not seem his grandkids since March. They live right near him and he's in his 60

This is ridiculous. They could stand in a field. They could talk through a window
My guess is he's been busy. Of course. Or making a point
but he certainly could have found a way .. to see them ... from afar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

contagious disease expert... has not seem his grandkids since March. They live right near him and he's in his 60

This is ridiculous. They could stand in a field. They could talk through a window
My guess is he's been busy. Of course. Or making a point
but he certainly could have found a way .. to see them ... from afar

I heard that episode. Didn’t he play socially distanced/masked softball or something, not seeing the grandkid didn’t mKe sense to me either.

[Anonymous]

My parents live within minutes of us and we see them all the time. They are basically the only people we see. They are very cautious and thankfully they are in very good health. Keeping my little kids and them apart is not going to happen until schools reopen and then it’s a whole new world.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm very conservative, but I would consider doing it under your circumstances BUT one or both of two things would have to happen:

1) Camping/composting toilet
2) Quarantining when you get there (as opposed to at home)

We are considering doing the same thing for the holidays, but in our case, the drive is only 7.5 hours, so we fullly quarantine (no groceries, nothing) for 2 weeks here, drive straight through (have a Potette and female urinal funnel thingy to pee on the way) and while we must stop once for gas, will not stop until we find a rural station with no one else filling up, and then use mask/gloves for 2 seconds.

[Anonymous]

All these people saying they did X with their parents and it turned out fine, so it was "worth it"... I mean, yeah, of course you're going to say that? Because it turned out fine? The risk didn't change, you just got lucky... and yes, you are significantly more likely than not to have gotten lucky, thanks to the odds, but... this is all hindsight bias. If you'd have gotten your parents sick, that exact same calculation would not have been worth it. I'm not sure the point of all this-- no one with any sense thinks there's a 100% risk of infection.

[Anonymous]

If everyone took as strict precautions as op then the virus would die out. Right now everyone should take steps to drastically reduce risk but it cannot be eliminated. Op the question is, is the teip with the risknfod you and your parents. Do they accept the risk?

[Anonymous]

Rent an Airbnb overnight and book it for the 3 nights before you arrive. You can get real cheap housing in rural areas in summer. Then overnight plans aren’t a risk.

Many reststops you can literally touch nothing. They have their doors propped open so people don’t have to touch them, you can open and close a bathroom stall with your foot (put your foot in a bag if you’re concerned about your shoe, dispose of mask and gloves once your back out and hand sanitize). Every one I stopped at from NC to Chicago was basically empty.

And you’re not “undoing your quarantine”. You have still eliminated 100s of potential exposures leading up to it and will have encountered a couple risks along the way. No one can promise you there is no risk but doing all of this would make it very low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rent an Airbnb overnight and book it for the 3 nights before you arrive. You can get real cheap housing in rural areas in summer. Then overnight plans aren’t a risk.

Many reststops you can literally touch nothing. They have their doors propped open so people don’t have to touch them, you can open and close a bathroom stall with your foot (put your foot in a bag if you’re concerned about your shoe, dispose of mask and gloves once your back out and hand sanitize). Every one I stopped at from NC to Chicago was basically empty.

And you’re not “undoing your quarantine”. You have still eliminated 100s of potential exposures leading up to it and will have encountered a couple risks along the way. No one can promise you there is no risk but doing all of this would make it very low.

I kind of agree with this except that it seems that flushing toilets releases aerosolized virus into the air. So if someone has flushed within a few hours of you-- or especially a few minutes-- it could be problematic. I'm the one above who said we'll be avoiding restrooms during a 7.5-8 hour trip by using urination devices/potties. It feels totally nutso that we're doing it, but also totally reasonable that we would, under the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

We are also taking a 16 hour trip to take our two kids see my parents. We have done a complete 2 week quarantine, are bringing Travel John disposable potties, staying in a cabin for a night halfway (and renting for 2 nights and leaving it vacant the first night). We have identified state and county parks to stop at along the way if we need them and are bringing all of our own food. We have no plans to go into any public restrooms or any indoor spaces besides our cabin.

My parents (late 60s) are also intensively quarantining. We have no plans to leave their house once we arrive and will wear n95s the first few days we are there.

There’s always a non-zero risk of getting us or them sick but my parents share our risk assessment and really want to see the grandkids and I want to see my parents.. There’s also a non-zero risk that my parents will have a heart attack or get sick for non-COVID reasons. So we are giving it a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We drove to a Covid hot zone to see older grandparents. It was not a hot zone when we planned the trip but became one. The bigger risk to our family is not seeing them for another year or more or never if God forbid. We took the precautions you are discussing. Plus we used a travel potty to avoid going inside, and got grocery delivery when we arrived, etc.

How is this a "risk"? Hint, it's not, it's a preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I may be your parent's age. Can you social distance when you arrive? Do you have to stay with your parents? Would their house allow you to social distance? How long has it been since you've seen your parents? Six months, a year? If close to a year, you need to see them. Either way, I think it's a reasonable idea. Do you have a spouse to go along? I would be cautious before but I won't obcess on 2 week quarantine before. Break the trip into 3 days. Stay at a Residence Inn where you can cook your own meals. Take canned goods, other food you can fix. Bathroom in the woods. Girls wear a skirt. No hugs when you get there. Make sure your parents are serious re: social distancing. Tell them that's the price of you coming. I would go. I imagine your parents really want you to come, but ask. If they say yes, assume it's important enough to them to take the risk.

Can you provide any back up for this statement? Oh right, there is none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us live with our parents, and there's no way we quarantine or get tested every time we see them, so I'm not sure why it would be unsafe for you to take these precautions and then visit them.

My husband, kids, and I live with my MIL. We do the grocery shopping so that she doesn't have to go out, and don't meet up with other friends to keep her safe, but there's no reason why she can't be around us any more than we can't be around each other. If she didn't live with us, she would be doing her own grocery shopping, errands, etc.

I see a ton of people out there meeting up with friends all the time. I think that's incredibly irresponsible. I honestly have a hard time believing that all of you are as isolated as you claim to be. If you're out seeing people like the folks in my neighborhood, then I see your concern about going to visit older parents. If you're taking the appropriate precautions already, then you are some rare people I sure don't see in my community.

If you don't understand the difference between living in the same house as someone and driving 18 hours to see someone, I don't know how anyone can help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I may be your parent's age. Can you social distance when you arrive? Do you have to stay with your parents? Would their house allow you to social distance? How long has it been since you've seen your parents? Six months, a year? If close to a year, you need to see them. Either way, I think it's a reasonable idea. Do you have a spouse to go along? I would be cautious before but I won't obcess on 2 week quarantine before. Break the trip into 3 days. Stay at a Residence Inn where you can cook your own meals. Take canned goods, other food you can fix. Bathroom in the woods. Girls wear a skirt. No hugs when you get there. Make sure your parents are serious re: social distancing. Tell them that's the price of you coming. I would go. I imagine your parents really want you to come, but ask. If they say yes, assume it's important enough to them to take the risk.

Can you provide any back up for this statement? Oh right, there is none.

NP. My mother’s mental health is suffering. Frankly, so is mine. I have a newborn at home, As well as an older child, and the isolation for the past 4.5 months has exasperated PPD for me. So, we will be seeing grandparents. They are comfortable with the risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I may be your parent's age. Can you social distance when you arrive? Do you have to stay with your parents? Would their house allow you to social distance? How long has it been since you've seen your parents? Six months, a year? If close to a year, you need to see them. Either way, I think it's a reasonable idea. Do you have a spouse to go along? I would be cautious before but I won't obcess on 2 week quarantine before. Break the trip into 3 days. Stay at a Residence Inn where you can cook your own meals. Take canned goods, other food you can fix. Bathroom in the woods. Girls wear a skirt. No hugs when you get there. Make sure your parents are serious re: social distancing. Tell them that's the price of you coming. I would go. I imagine your parents really want you to come, but ask. If they say yes, assume it's important enough to them to take the risk.

Can you provide any back up for this statement? Oh right, there is none.

NP. My mother’s mental health is suffering. Frankly, so is mine. I have a newborn at home, As well as an older child, and the isolation for the past 4.5 months has exasperated PPD for me. So, we will be seeing grandparents. They are comfortable with the risks.

can you rent an RV for the trip?

[Anonymous]

OP, I would absolutely go if your parents feel comfortable with it. This could get much worse in the winter - if something were to happen (eg, death of parent), I think you would regret not going.

It sounds like you are taking the precautions very seriously -- you likely won't have any issues.