Feeling angry about my husband and 2 kids that never clean up after themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here....Thanks for all of the suggestions and comments. I called a family meeting and we came up with a minimum amount of cleanliness (so it's NOT at a hoarding level, which some areas were). We are doing a big purge first, of the worst areas, which are the garage and the basement.

I have no misconceptions that the issue is partly ADD, partly just being boys/men, and partly that their standards are just different. But we concentrated on the fact that at this point it is affecting all of us, even to the point that we cannot sometimes get to a bike because the piles are so big. So no bike ride, can't find a hammer or screwdriver, they get frustrated, etc. It is not just me being controlling or demanding that they adhere to my standards, as someone suggested. They all realize that it is not a productive way to live.

I do the bin idea, sometimes on a small scale inside the house. If one person has about 30 things they didn't put away, I just pile them all in the middle of the rug, point out that "that is yours, can you put it all away please?", and then it gets done. Thats the most I can hope for as I know everyone isn't like me and just automatically puts their things away when they are done with them. And me piling it up makes me feel better because the clutter isn't ALL over the house and I can vacuum almost the whole floor.

I think sitting down and discussing and coming up with a mutually agreed on minimum has to help. We will see how it goes in about a month after the garage is clean though. Its almost as if they see "getting it clean" as the end. No....it's KEEPING it clean that has to happen. I could make it spotless today, but if everyone doesn't maintain it to some degree we will be right back where we started from very quickly. It's the keeping it neat that is the biggest issue. And I'm tired of having to be a nag and complain because there are another 4 boxes of crap in front of the beach chair that I now cannot reach.

I'm glad you got this far. I have to say that it really does sound like there's too much stuff in general and I'd take a look at that - why are there four boxes of stuff in the garage blocking access to bikes and beach chairs.

I also LOVE the idea of turning off the WiFi and taking electronics when you can't get to stuff like your bike.

And I second or third the idea of either you or them getting a shed, or maybe both. Good luck.