Should a husband and wife have the same doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What difference does it make if you have the same doctor? Are you afraid they’ll spill your secrets to your spouse?

This. Some people are so neurotic. DW and I share the same doc and dentist. We each see them maybe once every 1-2 years. BFD.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced and we still see the same practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even understand the question. I can’t imagine not sharing any medical update with my husband and it’s not like your doctor would know if you are... cheating with your husband or something. Are you saying you normally hide medical information from your husband?

I don't really understand the question/concern either.

Likewise. I can't imagine not telling my spouse something about my health - he's the one I would usually say 'hey, does this look/sound weird, should I go to the doctor?' to, and when I've had any semi-serious medical needs he comes with me. I often will ask the doctor if he can come into the exam room and listen if I'm getting instructions or information in case I forget something.

And similar to PP, he'd never go to the doctor if I didn't bring him. We have had the same doctor since we moved in together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even understand the question. I can’t imagine not sharing any medical update with my husband and it’s not like your doctor would know if you are... cheating with your husband or something. Are you saying you normally hide medical information from your husband?

I don't really understand the question/concern either.

Likewise. I can't imagine not telling my spouse something about my health - he's the one I would usually say 'hey, does this look/sound weird, should I go to the doctor?' to, and when I've had any semi-serious medical needs he comes with me. I often will ask the doctor if he can come into the exam room and listen if I'm getting instructions or information in case I forget something.

And similar to PP, he'd never go to the doctor if I didn't bring him. We have had the same doctor since we moved in together.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What difference does it make if you have the same doctor? Are you afraid they’ll spill your secrets to your spouse?

This. Dh and I see different doctors because I prefer to have pcp near my work (precovid) while he preferred to have one close to home. But I wouldn’t have an issue to have same pcp. We’re not going to go in together for a joint appointment, and neither of us would discuss the other during our own appointments. So don’t really see an issue.

[Anonymous]

I see no issue with this. When I aged out of my pediatrician at around 16 I moved over to my mom's PCP. There was never any issue with confidentiality, even when i was still a teen and on my parent's insurance. Both my mom and I continued independently as her patients until she retired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most doctors and nurses gossip.

Sure. With EACH OTHER, not with their other patients or patients' spouses.

[Anonymous]

For my elderly parents it was helpful for my dad to be able to bring up some concerns related to my mom that she'd never bring up herself.

[Anonymous]

So...you tested positive for STDs recently and didn't tell your wife because you don't have sex with her?

[Anonymous]

Not a spousal relationship but my dad started going to my cardiologist and I'm not a fan of it. I had started seeing him first (for a heart valve issue I was born with) and don't want to switch because it's a 20 year long dr-patient relationship that just works well because we're on the same page re testing etc. He's a great dr so in that sense yeah I want dad to go there. But as my parents have aged they're a major source of stress for me (in large part due to their anxiety which they drop onto their kids like candy or something). So the cardiologist asks me about lifestyle/stress and I say everything is fine -- because I don't feel like I should say yeah my dad has health anxiety, mom tries to be the reasonable one but sometimes can't take it and gets sucked into it and then they dump it on me and I have palpitations . . . . I mean I guess I COULD tell him that but who knows how he'd relay it back to my dad nor would I ever want him to write off anything my dad tells him as "oh it's just anxiety NBD" -- he isn't that type of dr but you never know; meanwhile dad thinks he's not anxious at all and his family should just be available for his feelings at the drop of a hat).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a spousal relationship but my dad started going to my cardiologist and I'm not a fan of it. I had started seeing him first (for a heart valve issue I was born with) and don't want to switch because it's a 20 year long dr-patient relationship that just works well because we're on the same page re testing etc. He's a great dr so in that sense yeah I want dad to go there. But as my parents have aged they're a major source of stress for me (in large part due to their anxiety which they drop onto their kids like candy or something). So the cardiologist asks me about lifestyle/stress and I say everything is fine -- because I don't feel like I should say yeah my dad has health anxiety, mom tries to be the reasonable one but sometimes can't take it and gets sucked into it and then they dump it on me and I have palpitations . . . . I mean I guess I COULD tell him that but who knows how he'd relay it back to my dad nor would I ever want him to write off anything my dad tells him as "oh it's just anxiety NBD" -- he isn't that type of dr but you never know; meanwhile dad thinks he's not anxious at all and his family should just be available for his feelings at the drop of a hat).

Meant to add -- so from a spousal perspective if your spouse or home life was the cause of stress/a stress based condition for you, yeah I'd want separate drs. so you could discuss it openly.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were originally going to the same practice, but different doctors. And then my doctor became a concierge doctor, I think that's what it's called, and I didn't think I needed that level of care, so switched to my husbands doctor. It's been totally fine.

[Anonymous]

My elderly mother, DH and I all have the same PCP. it makes my life infinitely easier bc I manage doctor visits for all of us. There’s absolutely no weirdness w DH and I having the same doc. I guess if we were cheaters and kept our health condition secret then I’d probably feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...you tested positive for STDs recently and didn't tell your wife because you don't have sex with her?

Would the dr have any ethical obligations in a case like this to reveal to the spouse that they might be at risk?

[Anonymous]

DH's doctor is also FIL's doctor and a family friend of theirs. I don't want to go to a doctor that I'll also have to encounter socially.