Anyone else nearing the end of their rope?

[Anonymous]

Nanny again- I don’t understand why she can’t be on FaceTime and sit in on the zoom and homework sessions with your son? Why is she just not even offering to help? She could be doing ALOT more. Even taking 30 mins to do story time with your kids on FaceTime to give you a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hire a nanny. Use essential childcare. More people are doing it than you think.

We have a full time nanny normally - however she has a 10 year old son who has no school (single parent) so she has been home with him. We are still paying her full time so really cannot afford to hire someone else too.

Why are you not using your Nanny? Have her come over with her son and do her job.

Her husband is an essential worker so it’s not worth the risk to us.

You have a nanny. You are paying her. You are telling her to not come. Then please don’t complain. Seriously. We can’t help you. And some of us have it worse. And we don’t have a nanny who we are telling to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about applying for the Parental/Care leaves? I just don’t see how long you can last living like this. We have a 4 and 2 year old and I can’t imagine having 3!

NP. What kind of leave? Do you mean leave under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act)? This child care situation is not really what FMLA leave is for. Maybe if one parent gets sick the other would take FMLA leave, but using it "because we can't find child care/the nanny won't come" is not the intent of that law. It's for caring for sick family members, basically. And it does not guarantee you get paid during that leave time, and it does not apply to employers with fewer than 50 employees. By "parental" leaves do you mean...what, exactly? The parental leave in aware of tends to be for time after a child is born.

Taking a leave of absence is a possibility, but that isn't like FMLA or maternity/paternity leave. Maybe your employer has a generous leave if parents just hit a child care problem? That would be great, but I haven't heard of one.

No the new leave in the COVID bill 20 hours of PAID leave per two week pay cycle for certain employees. FMLA is unpaid so not much help and doesn’t really apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about applying for the Parental/Care leaves? I just don’t see how long you can last living like this. We have a 4 and 2 year old and I can’t imagine having 3!

NP. What kind of leave? Do you mean leave under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act)? This child care situation is not really what FMLA leave is for. Maybe if one parent gets sick the other would take FMLA leave, but using it "because we can't find child care/the nanny won't come" is not the intent of that law. It's for caring for sick family members, basically. And it does not guarantee you get paid during that leave time, and it does not apply to employers with fewer than 50 employees. By "parental" leaves do you mean...what, exactly? The parental leave in aware of tends to be for time after a child is born.

Taking a leave of absence is a possibility, but that isn't like FMLA or maternity/paternity leave. Maybe your employer has a generous leave if parents just hit a child care problem? That would be great, but I haven't heard of one.

No the new leave in the COVID bill 20 hours of PAID leave per two week pay cycle for certain employees. FMLA is unpaid so not much help and doesn’t really apply.

This. Take the new leave.

[Anonymous]

Federal Covid Sick Pay (for 2 weeks) and FMLA expanded act due to Covid (up to 12 weeks) APPLY HERE! There are criteria under both for workers who have minor children whose schools are closed due to Covid. The employer can pay 2/3 of salary and get a future tax credit for those payments.
OP - I'm so sorry. You are in an impossible situation. I'd strongly consider looking into this paid leave for either YOU, your NANNY, or BOTH.
Your nanny would qualify because she has a minor child she is taking care of due to Covid. You would pay her at 2/3 and receive a future tax credit. Maybe that would free up your finances in the long run to hire someone else without kids to help you in the interim.
OR if your employer has less than 500 employees you likely qualify yourself.
I hope that this might provide some options for you.
And just know that TV, iPads, etc are your friends. There is no thing as too much screen time during this crisis. Pay the older to play with the youngers or "babysit" in a safe room for 10 min. A quarter if no one cries. Whatever you can do to keep everyone alive at the end of the day.
Sending hugs.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny has a 10yo, not a 3yo. She could leave him home or bring him but she should be working. Or you should stop paying her.

[Anonymous]

I still don't understand why the Nanny is not working if you have work for her? If she brought her 10 year old the 10 year old and your 8 year old could hang out together.

If you are not using the Nanny lay her off. Unemployment is really generous now to those laid off. $600 extra per week plus regular unemployment per week.

This is not a 1 or 2 week disease circulating. I think we will all be staying home for at least 2 maybe 3 more months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hire a nanny. Use essential childcare. More people are doing it than you think.

We have a full time nanny normally - however she has a 10 year old son who has no school (single parent) so she has been home with him. We are still paying her full time so really cannot afford to hire someone else too.

Can she bring the son to your house? At 10 he is capable of entertaining himself more than your kids are.

Sorry, but I would require that.

[Anonymous]

Lay off the Nanny and get a college student to help you if the Nanny does not want to come in.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had some advice because I'd take it myself...I'm in the very same boat. 3 kids (7, 4, and 1) with a full time job, working from home. My husband is also working from home full time. We have a nanny, but she's not coming because she and her husband wouldn't social distance. That was too risky for us since my husband is immune compromised and my daughter has underlying medical conditions. Today was unbelievably hard. Conference calls all day, distance learning work to do, a baby that wasn't feeling well, and a 4 year old that was just being 4. I find myself dreading each morning. Weekends bring relief because we can just "be" without all the stress of work and learning looming like they do on the weekday. I'm hanging by a thread many days and don't know how much longer I can take it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re an idiot. You should never have let your nanny stay home to begin with. She can bring her 10yo and he can do his own homework and would most likely enjoy having your 8yo for company. How exactly did you think you and your husband would handle THREE kids including a toddler while working full-time. Were you under a rock and assumed this would only last a few days?

I have a ton of sympathy for parents whose kids’ daycares shut down and they have no other option but to take of them by themselves. But those who are paying a single nanny to stay home and do nothing and then complain about their idiocy deserve 0 sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough with the I have three kid posts. You had more kids than you can handle and are not used to doing it yourself. Suck it up. You have three kids and need to care for them. Stop complaining and use birth control.

You are a jerk. She has 3 kids and has a full time job to do.

It is hard enough to have the 3 kids at home all day without the job.

I’m the SAHM of 3 from above. I am about to lose my mind today. It is hard being home all day everyday with 3 kids.

So do a lot of women and they have no help but get it all done. I am so sick of the over privileged whining of OP, you, and your ilk.
You are lazy and useless!

There’s always one of these Bitter Bettys, isn’t there? What makes you miserable enough to spew venom at strangers?

[Anonymous]

op, what a bunch of absolute you know whats. I am so sorry. This is a hard awful time. Let some things go. God, DCUM biddies, you never disappoint. And for the record, I actually have a "600k" plus income and live in Bethesda and am somewhat together and work part time and NOBODY I KNOW and I am a room mom, a lawyer, in many mom groups, have all my high school, college and law school mom friends, and none of us are this rigid, intense, my house is always clean you lazy bum, your kids eat crap because you're crap....UGH. You all are seriously, the worst.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I am a single Mom with twins working from home. I needed help to make sure kids will do their daily school assignments. I was able to find a college student and it is working well. She is with the kids via zoom 9am-12pm and makes sure they do their school work. I can work while they do this. This could be an option for the 8 year old. Unfortunately, you need someone to care for your 4 and 1 year olds too. Your nanny could zoom in and entertain them a bit. Are there grandparents, other family members who could provide virtual support? One of my friends has her Mom skype in for Europe for 30-60 minutes, and she tutors the 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enough with the I have three kid posts. You had more kids than you can handle and are not used to doing it yourself. Suck it up. You have three kids and need to care for them. Stop complaining and use birth control.

You are a jerk. She has 3 kids and has a full time job to do.

It is hard enough to have the 3 kids at home all day without the job.

I’m the SAHM of 3 from above. I am about to lose my mind today. It is hard being home all day everyday with 3 kids.

So do a lot of women and they have no help but get it all done. I am so sick of the over privileged whining of OP, you, and your ilk.
You are lazy and useless!

There’s always one of these Bitter Bettys, isn’t there? What makes you miserable enough to spew venom at strangers?

Yes. This. This group can be so awful. I thought as fellow parents, we should encourage. Nobody has the right to tell someone how they should feel. For some reason the parenting sections have the worst people/trolls. It takes a lot to actually post something negative/judgemental. Maybe frame your criticisms positively or just be positive? Oh, and OP - this is hard. Some people are weird..