Anyone else nearing the end of their rope?
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Anonymous
This. And encourage your 3 to play together. Ask the oldest to show the second how to play/do things/ |
Anonymous
Yes, ask your nanny to rescue you but putting her and her son at risk. Typical DCUM response. You can’t take care of the kids you have so you want to be rescued by others. 
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Anonymous
So do a lot of women and they have no help but get it all done. I am so sick of the over privileged whining of OP, you, and your ilk. You are lazy and useless! |
Anonymous
| I guess it's hard for me to believe your DH really has meetings all day. He needs to step up with some regular time he can help during the day. |
Anonymous
| How about applying for the Parental/Care leaves? I just don’t see how long you can last living like this. We have a 4 and 2 year old and I can’t imagine having 3! |
Anonymous
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OP, I feel you. I'm a similar boat but luckily my husband's work was slower the first two weeks so he was able to help our younger elementary kids get pretty up to speed on their online schooling.
The only advice I have for you is to try your best to schedule times for things. Instead of feeling like laundry or cleaning is constantly hanging over my head, we created a schedule where we rotate through everything that needs to be done so that we're doing something every day, but it gives me the flexibility to ignore something that would otherwise bother me because I know it will be handled tomorrow, for example. It also helps make for a better division of labor since my husband also knows what needs to be done. For example, today he vacuumed all the rugs because he had a short break in his work schedule this morning. Also, try to schedule in some time for yourself. I understand having to log back into work after the kids are in bed, but one night a week can you plan to take a bath or watch a TV show you like? Just having something to look forward to has been helpful for me. Good luck. This is tough. |
Anonymous
NP. We have a full-time nanny normally as well, but we're paying her to stay home. We can both work from home, as hard as it is with two little kids, and we think keeping her at home is the right thing to do. |
Anonymous
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OP, I am in the same boat. My kids are 7, 5, and 2 years old. DH and I both work full-time and have around 3-5 hours of zoom meetings a day. We are both losing it. There are no good solutions because this is completely infeasible. In normal times people would act like you were insane if you said you were going to work from home with one toddler. Now they act like you’re an incompetent parent if you can’t homeschool, run after a toddler and work full-time simultaneously.
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Anonymous
NP. What kind of leave? Do you mean leave under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act)? This child care situation is not really what FMLA leave is for. Maybe if one parent gets sick the other would take FMLA leave, but using it "because we can't find child care/the nanny won't come" is not the intent of that law. It's for caring for sick family members, basically. And it does not guarantee you get paid during that leave time, and it does not apply to employers with fewer than 50 employees. By "parental" leaves do you mean...what, exactly? The parental leave in aware of tends to be for time after a child is born. Taking a leave of absence is a possibility, but that isn't like FMLA or maternity/paternity leave. Maybe your employer has a generous leave if parents just hit a child care problem? That would be great, but I haven't heard of one. |
Anonymous
NP here. These aren’t normal times. No one decided to have children planning to be cooped up at home with them while homeschooling and working full time. You’re over parents complaining and I’m over people having no empathy for others and mocking them for struggling during unprecented times. |
Anonymous
| Why not have your nanny come part time? Bring her son for 3 or 4 hours? You can do work while she is there. The kids can all do school work together. Keep her there until the 1 year old naps. 930 to 130 or 2 seems like a good time frame. |
Anonymous
Her husband is an essential worker so it’s not worth the risk to us. |
Anonymous
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Nanny here-
I think it’s pretty messed up your nanny hasn’t offered to come and bring her son. EVERY nanny I know is working and many are bringing their kids. I’m sure if you said you couldn’t afford to continue paying her, she’d find a solution and offer to bring her son. Your nanny is taking advantage. We are all making sacrifices. I’m a nanny not a cleaner, but I’m helping clean the house while the housekeepers don’t come. Your nanny needs to step up. If she’s being paid, then she can zoom with your 8 year old and they can do homework together. |
Anonymous
m Yeah, OP. Why didn’t you foresee a pandemic combined with extreme incompetence? I admit that overbred for this situation. But I didn’t see it coming and I don’t think that was unreasonable. I did not overbreed for normal life. NP here. |
Anonymous
Wait how can your nanny be a single parent with a husband?? |