Kids' caretaker traveling to N.J. next weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks guys for all the constructive feedback. It's a tough situation. By the way, she is not a nanny per se. She is a young person who is doing distance learning at home herself since universities are closed. She only comes 2-4 hours on the weekdays to study with the kids. I am always present and she does not take them out of our place. I know I took a risk, so please, I do not need comments about that. But I need to be able to do at least SOME work every day, if not the usual amount....I need to not go crazy and keep my mental health. But this NJ trip is a too much risk for my liking. I don't even think she can enter NJ or enter back into DC from NJ...lets see how the coming days will evolve. Life might take of issues but yes, I am surprised that she is even entertaining the idea and that her family is so clueless to want her back home for Easter....

OP, do you have a neighbor or friend who has been also isolated for 14 days? If both households have been asymptomatic (which doesn't guarantee no virus, but is the best we can do right now), maybe you can swap the kids for 2-3 hours a day? It's not a perfect solution, and it might violate the letter of the stay at home law, but again, it might be the best you can do.

OP has not been isolated for 14 days. She's been letting this dumbass student into her house every day.

OP, fire the babysitter. I am usually a HUGE fan of people trying to outsource childcare and housekeeping, but I would avoid having other people in your house right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fire her. She's obviously stupid. I wouldn't trust her judgement around children.

Or make her President!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing about quarantine. Many people will have moderate symptoms of COVID. You have to completely trust that if she develops symptoms during the 14 day period, that she recognizes the potential for that dry cough or slight body ache that doesn't get worse to potentially be COVID. Otherwise she could start working for you on day 15 but really be a couple days into a mild case.

Do you trust her to stay home if she develops any symptoms? Or do you think she would shake it off, be oblivious, prefer to get paid? This is about her judgment in general.

Maybe if she had sick pay, she wouldn’t have to make that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Sure, I'll compare. I am not a single mom but am married to a doctor who is exhausted and sleeping away from the family. Working full time and have 2 kids who need help with online schooling. No nanny here. Check yourself. And that nanny should stay home for 2 weeks, NO PAY, if she chooses to go to NJ. My FIL is in NJ, home on oxygen 24/7, and we are not going anywhere near there, for Easter or otherwise.

NP. So it seems that you are in a position of much greater privilege than the OP, given that you have a spouse with a presumably good salary and rock solid prospects for continued employment. Given this, it seems quite odd that you would judge OP for having a few hours of childcare per day. At least the advice you ultimately coughed up is sensible.

Agree. Doctor’s wife PP is so tone-deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Sure, I'll compare. I am not a single mom but am married to a doctor who is exhausted and sleeping away from the family. Working full time and have 2 kids who need help with online schooling. No nanny here. Check yourself. And that nanny should stay home for 2 weeks, NO PAY, if she chooses to go to NJ. My FIL is in NJ, home on oxygen 24/7, and we are not going anywhere near there, for Easter or otherwise.

NP. So it seems that you are in a position of much greater privilege than the OP, given that you have a spouse with a presumably good salary and rock solid prospects for continued employment. Given this, it seems quite odd that you would judge OP for having a few hours of childcare per day. At least the advice you ultimately coughed up is sensible.

Agree. Doctor’s wife PP is so tone-deaf.

+1. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not legally allowed to travel from dc, md or va for nonessential vacation. It’s against the law.

Isn't the nanny not supposed to be working anyway? How is her travel to OP's house to work for a nonessential business allowed?

Childcare (in home, not center) is considered essential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind her it’s illegal. Have a 2 week quarantine. Look for new sitter to replace ASAP.

It's not. If you haven't read the governor's executive order, you shouldn't be telling people what is and is not legal. The governor specifically listed childcare necessary to work from home as an allowed exception.

The governor's text:
https://governor.maryland.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Gatherings-FOURTH-AMENDED-3.30.20.pdf

a. All persons living in the State of Maryland are hereby ordered, effective as of
8:00 p.m. on March 30, 2020, to stay in their homes or places of residences
(“Homes”) except:
i. to conduct or participate in Essential Activities (defined below);
[...clipped...]
b. As used herein, “Essential Activities” means:
- 3 -
i. Obtaining necessary supplies or services for one’s self, family, household
members, pets, or livestock, including, without limitation: groceries,
supplies for household consumption or use, supplies and equipment
needed to work from home, laundry, and products needed to maintain
safety, sanitation, and essential maintenance of the home or residence;

That said, I would let her know (before she left) that I would require her to self-quarantine for 14 days after her return before she would be returning to work.

Going for a family vacation IS illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Yes, they are. I don't think you actually don't understand this and catch a hint of judgment at people who are in the situation where they need someone to help watch their kids while they work (either in or out of the house). You don't understand because you don't understand if someone doesn't have the EXACT same situation as you- and THAT is privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Nobody told you to be so stupid as to have kids without a committed partner. You are probably driving your nanny crazy. I don't blame her for going to New Jersey, or not going but just telling you that she's going,!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Nobody told you to be so stupid as to have kids without a committed partner. You are probably driving your nanny crazy. I don't blame her for going to New Jersey, or not going but just telling you that she's going,!

Most single parents were in a committed relationship, then the other party walked. Where do you get to deride this parent for doing the best they can, likely without help from anyone else?!