Kids' caretaker traveling to N.J. next weekend

[Anonymous]

She Hass to self Quarantine for 14 days so it’s a bad call for her to go and you should not receive her until she completes her Quarantine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire her. She's obviously stupid. I wouldn't trust her judgement around children.

I'm quoting myself before anyone thinks I'm being harsh. She's going to the 2nd biggest hot spot in the country during a global pandemic. I mean, her critical thinking skills are lacking.

PP, that's exactly my issue. She is going there and then coming back and was planning to work with my kids again. I mean, we were supposed to travel to Atlanta to visit my friends; obviously, we are not going....

New poster. OP, as someone said earlier, her judgement is so extremely poor that I would fire her. If she thinks it's acceptable to travel and be around who knows how many people on this trip that she has told you about, what behaviors is she not going to mention to you? How can you ever trust afterward that she wouldn't think it acceptable to visit with her friends back here, then come into your home? To go to the store for non-essential reasons? To take your kids to the park and rather than keeping them on the grass, letting my them clamber all over playground equipment right alongside other kids "because everyone knows kids don't get this virus"?

This is a huge red flag about her judgement and her comprehension, or rather lack of comprehension, about the gravity of this situation for everyone, including your entire family.

I think it's you saying earlier you're a single parent trying to work from home with 2-3 hours help to get work accomplished, and that is massively tough. But if she brings in this virus with her terrible judgement--your kids will possibly be stranded with a sick parent. She won't be there to help because she'd be sick herself, or you'd be suspicious that she was a symptomatic but contagious and would infect the kids. What is the plan if you are sick? How could you isolate yourself if you're the only adult in the house? What if you end up hospitalized? Your staying uninfected is especially vital. She is not just blithely risking herself, she's risking your kids having to go -- where? How long? -- if you, the only parent in the household, get sick.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. I don't even let the neighbor kids come over and they've been home just as long as us!

[Anonymous]

Find a new nanny.

I get that you want to make this work but there’s no way around it. She doesn’t share your values and worse: she is stupid. You’re at home working while she takes care of the kids so stupid isn’t as much of a deal breaker as before, but something like this will always come up. Stupid people can’t help themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks guys for all the constructive feedback. It's a tough situation. By the way, she is not a nanny per se. She is a young person who is doing distance learning at home herself since universities are closed. She only comes 2-4 hours on the weekdays to study with the kids. I am always present and she does not take them out of our place. I know I took a risk, so please, I do not need comments about that. But I need to be able to do at least SOME work every day, if not the usual amount....I need to not go crazy and keep my mental health. But this NJ trip is a too much risk for my liking. I don't even think she can enter NJ or enter back into DC from NJ...lets see how the coming days will evolve. Life might take of issues but yes, I am surprised that she is even entertaining the idea and that her family is so clueless to want her back home for Easter....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Sure, I'll compare. I am not a single mom but am married to a doctor who is exhausted and sleeping away from the family. Working full time and have 2 kids who need help with online schooling. No nanny here. Check yourself. And that nanny should stay home for 2 weeks, NO PAY, if she chooses to go to NJ. My FIL is in NJ, home on oxygen 24/7, and we are not going anywhere near there, for Easter or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks guys for all the constructive feedback. It's a tough situation. By the way, she is not a nanny per se. She is a young person who is doing distance learning at home herself since universities are closed. She only comes 2-4 hours on the weekdays to study with the kids. I am always present and she does not take them out of our place. I know I took a risk, so please, I do not need comments about that. But I need to be able to do at least SOME work every day, if not the usual amount....I need to not go crazy and keep my mental health. But this NJ trip is a too much risk for my liking. I don't even think she can enter NJ or enter back into DC from NJ...lets see how the coming days will evolve. Life might take of issues but yes, I am surprised that she is even entertaining the idea and that her family is so clueless to want her back home for Easter....

OP, do you have a neighbor or friend who has been also isolated for 14 days? If both households have been asymptomatic (which doesn't guarantee no virus, but is the best we can do right now), maybe you can swap the kids for 2-3 hours a day? It's not a perfect solution, and it might violate the letter of the stay at home law, but again, it might be the best you can do.

[Anonymous]

I think it will resolve itself and she won’t be traveling.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that is grounds for being let go.

Explain how the virus spreads. Explain how preventable deaths occur during a surge when medical personnel just cannot care for all patients adequately. Explain how some life-saving ventilators and essential medications are in short supply.

If you cannot trust this person’s judgement, you must not keep her.

[Anonymous]

The fact that she is even considering this would be enough for me to let her go. I wouldn’t want someone that stupid and irresponsible around my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire her. She's obviously stupid. I wouldn't trust her judgement around children.

I'm quoting myself before anyone thinks I'm being harsh. She's going to the 2nd biggest hot spot in the country during a global pandemic. I mean, her critical thinking skills are lacking.

+1. I would absolutely not allow her to return to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind her it’s illegal. Have a 2 week quarantine. Look for new sitter to replace ASAP.

It's not. If you haven't read the governor's executive order, you shouldn't be telling people what is and is not legal. The governor specifically listed childcare necessary to work from home as an allowed exception.

The governor's text:
https://governor.maryland.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Gatherings-FOURTH-AMENDED-3.30.20.pdf

a. All persons living in the State of Maryland are hereby ordered, effective as of
8:00 p.m. on March 30, 2020, to stay in their homes or places of residences
(“Homes”) except:
i. to conduct or participate in Essential Activities (defined below);
[...clipped...]
b. As used herein, “Essential Activities” means:
- 3 -
i. Obtaining necessary supplies or services for one’s self, family, household
members, pets, or livestock, including, without limitation: groceries,
supplies for household consumption or use, supplies and equipment
needed to work from home, laundry, and products needed to maintain
safety, sanitation, and essential maintenance of the home or residence;

That said, I would let her know (before she left) that I would require her to self-quarantine for 14 days after her return before she would be returning to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind her it’s illegal. Have a 2 week quarantine. Look for new sitter to replace ASAP.

It's not. If you haven't read the governor's executive order, you shouldn't be telling people what is and is not legal. The governor specifically listed childcare necessary to work from home as an allowed exception.

The governor's text:
https://governor.maryland.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Gatherings-FOURTH-AMENDED-3.30.20.pdf

a. All persons living in the State of Maryland are hereby ordered, effective as of
8:00 p.m. on March 30, 2020, to stay in their homes or places of residences
(“Homes”) except:
i. to conduct or participate in Essential Activities (defined below);
[...clipped...]
b. As used herein, “Essential Activities” means:
- 3 -
i. Obtaining necessary supplies or services for one’s self, family, household
members, pets, or livestock, including, without limitation: groceries,
supplies for household consumption or use, supplies and equipment
needed to work from home, laundry, and products needed to maintain
safety, sanitation, and essential maintenance of the home or residence;

That said, I would let her know (before she left) that I would require her to self-quarantine for 14 days after her return before she would be returning to work.

It is! Traveling to NJ to visit family over Easter is the illegal part. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

LOL - I love when people on DCUM post something about their personal situation and then claim it is no one's business to respond about it!

In either case you still probably need to learn a little about both privilege and the corona virus as lots of working people cannot even afford 2-3 hours a day of help and worrying about a part time person going to NJ but not otherwise worrying about where they are spending their time is some combination of ignorance and wishful thinking.

The thing I don't like about DCUM is when people like you try to derail posts. Someone asks a question. Just respond to the question, or don't. But don't derail the topic into a totally different direction, because that's not helpful for the poster. So, just move on if you cannot just respond to the specific question in the original post.

+1
No one gives a rats behind about your personal opinions, PP. If you don’t have anything intelligent to say it’s fine to remain silent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - are people who are working from home still paying for someone to watch their kids full time?

Regardless of how privileged you are exposing your kids to a lot.

Covid19 is everywhere - if this is what is causing you to be concerned you must not be doing much reading?

Listen PP, if you cannot just answer my question, then pls move on. Non of your business, you don't know what my circumstances are, ok?
Do you think a single Mom with two kids can do any work at home? I have someone coming to our place for 2-3 hours a day during the weekdays to study and occupy my kids, so I can do a bit of work. I am with my kids ON MY OWN 24/7 without any other back-up, so I need outside help, yes. Happy now? Do you really want to compare privileges?

Sure, I'll compare. I am not a single mom but am married to a doctor who is exhausted and sleeping away from the family. Working full time and have 2 kids who need help with online schooling. No nanny here. Check yourself. And that nanny should stay home for 2 weeks, NO PAY, if she chooses to go to NJ. My FIL is in NJ, home on oxygen 24/7, and we are not going anywhere near there, for Easter or otherwise.

NP. So it seems that you are in a position of much greater privilege than the OP, given that you have a spouse with a presumably good salary and rock solid prospects for continued employment. Given this, it seems quite odd that you would judge OP for having a few hours of childcare per day. At least the advice you ultimately coughed up is sensible.