Is It Normal To Be Out Every Night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal for our family (4 kids). Kids do not need to do every travel sport they are invited to do. Rec leagues are fine. Family time is really important to us.

Not OP, but I have two kids and neither do travel sports. By upper elementary school rec sports had more than more than one practice a week so someone is out every week night even with only two. We carpool and DH or I drive depending on our work schedules. We value family time but it’s mostly dinner together on the weekends. We love sports and think it’s important they participate as long as they are enjoying it. We also love weekend breakfasts and brunch.

We do too. There isn't anything magical about family dinners, it's the time together as a family. It can be any meal! Or doesn't even have to be a meal.

Due to my kids' sports and my DH's work schedule, we can't do dinner together every night of the week. But carve out the time when we can, be it weekend breakfasts, weekend lunches, etc. In some ways it's even more relaxing and enjoyable, we aren't rushed to finish homework, to get ready for the next morning and my early wake-up for work, etc.

[Anonymous]

Four soccer teams for three kids does seem like overkill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

Leisure time around the house IS family time.

[Anonymous]

Normal unfortunately, and I tried to reign it in.

When the kids were in elementary and younger, they all three did the same sport/activity in an effort to reduce the number of days, and consolidate schedules.

But when middle school & high school hit, they all went separate ways. It gets a little easier once you have a teen driver who can haul him/herself home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal unfortunately, and I tried to reign it in.

When the kids were in elementary and younger, they all three did the same sport/activity in an effort to reduce the number of days, and consolidate schedules.

But when middle school & high school hit, they all went separate ways. It gets a little easier once you have a teen driver who can haul him/herself home.

The only time we are ALL home at night is Thursdays after 6:30pm. Three teens: 14-18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

I disagree, obviously parents can parent how they want, but I don't see it that way. Travel sports are obscenely expensive and time consuming, maybe that's why they are saying no, these sports affect everyone in the family and not just the kid playing. Money alone would be make me say absolutely not to travel sports for kids.

[Anonymous]

5 kids here and everyone has an activity or two so yeah I’m out every night... they love what they do though and I’ll probably miss all the hectic nights when they grow up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

I disagree, obviously parents can parent how they want, but I don't see it that way. Travel sports are obscenely expensive and time consuming, maybe that's why they are saying no, these sports affect everyone in the family and not just the kid playing. Money alone would be make me say absolutely not to travel sports for kids.

There are many good reasons to turn down travel sports or other expensive, time-consuming activities, and many people do so because they place a higher priority on spending a different type of quality time with their kids. I was just pointing out that the "Newsflash" PP's statement is not accurate for all families that opt out of these activities. There are many parents that have selfish reasons for not letting their kids do these activities, and they end up spending less time with their kids than those of us who "overschedule" them with travel sports.

[Anonymous]

Well ok, what do you think constitutes a selfish reason though? For argument sake, let's just speak on travel sports. They are very expensive and time consuming and usually don't leave much time for said kid in the sport to be actually be a kid. It's very intrusive on life and not just for the kid involved. I can absolutely see myself saying not because of money and time. Do you think that makes me selfish? I guess if it does so be it then.

[Anonymous]

Not all travel sports are expensive. My son's travel baseball is $325 a season. That's less than two months cable bill.

[Anonymous]

It's more than we do, but not outrageously so. We have two kids, both in scouts plus one spring sport. Some years one of them will do a fall sport, but not always.

So, spring is our busy time: scouts on Monday evenings for both kids (but one is a Cub Scout and one is a Boy Scout, so the meetings are in different places). One has sports practice on Tuesday and Thursday, the other only on Thursday. Games on Saturdays. It's only really hard when either DH or I are traveling, and the other has to be in two places at once on Mondays and Thursdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well ok, what do you think constitutes a selfish reason though? For argument sake, let's just speak on travel sports. They are very expensive and time consuming and usually don't leave much time for said kid in the sport to be actually be a kid. It's very intrusive on life and not just for the kid involved. I can absolutely see myself saying not because of money and time. Do you think that makes me selfish? I guess if it does so be it then.

Guarding family time should be a top priority, not sports. I like you.

[Anonymous]

carpool or hire out the driving if this isn't working.

yes it is not normal (although 2 soccer teams for one kid sounds excessive, I know how that happens.)