Nanny or Daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He will be close to 6 months when I go back to work. We can afford both options, but I don't know if a nanny is worth the added expense. My husband is very concerned about hiring a nanny because we don't have many days we can take off ( I'm a nurse, and he's in finance). I'm sure many people have great experiences with nannies, but the couples we know that hired nanny ether switched to daycare, or ended up going through 1-2 nannies before finding one that worked. My husband thinks we should go with the daycare close to us and we can see how it works. We can hire a nanny if it doesn't work out.

We are both clean and we do have a housekeeper. I know some posters mentioned perks of having the nanny do babu laundry and bottles, but that won't be needed. I will do laundry, and we just put the bottles in the dishwasher and run it at night. I'm not that concerned about packing up for daycare because it's only an 8 mile walk.

What do you mean you don't know how many days you can take off? If your child is sick, they can't go to daycare, but they can stay home with a nanny. I took WAY fewer sick days than my friends whose kids were in daycare and I had a nanny.

OP here. I took an extended maternity leave and my husband took paternity leave. We don’t have much time ever we can take off if the nanny calls off, etc., My MIlL and backup sitters will be there if we need someone to watch him while he’s home from daycare.

Them your mother in law and sitters would also be available if the nanny ever called in sick.

They want to do daycare. Why do you care so much? Daycare are just as good. There are pros and cons to both, but daycare is fine.

I disagree that “daycare is just as good” for an infant, but agree that OP should go with daycare. OP seems very price conscious ($18/hour will only get you a mediocre nanny in the DMV, and OP is haggling over 36 hours vs. 40) so daycare is the best option for her.

I don’t think that’s it. OP said they can afford either option.

[Anonymous]

I would go with daycare. We had a nanny at 3 months but switched to daycare at 6 months. The nanny was experienced and we paid her a very good salary. She was nice and loving, but she never really “taught” him anything or played with him. She would just put him on a playmat and that was it. Once in a while she would read to him or show him a toy, but mostly he was on his playmat. Our daycare is very highly recommended and we have loved it. They keep the babies entertained and are constantly working on development. I feel like he has changed so much since being in daycare. He is more vocal, hitting all of his milestones, and he seems much happier. We didn’t see the point in paying a nanny when she didn’t really interact with him much. Or daycare does that and it’s almost half the price of what we paid the nanny. I know not all daycares are good, but there are some really good ones.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford a nanny always go with the nanny. Back up care can be stressful but I promise you will miss A LOT more work with a day care kid than a kid with a nanny. Our nanny has called out sick twice in 4 years. That’s two days I had to unexpectedly take a day off work. Kids can stay home when they’re sick with a nanny. Daycare you have to stay home with the kid when it’s sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your situation I would try the daycare option that is an 8 minute walk and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out for you, then you can switch to a nanny.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go with daycare. We had a nanny at 3 months but switched to daycare at 6 months. The nanny was experienced and we paid her a very good salary. She was nice and loving, but she never really “taught” him anything or played with him. She would just put him on a playmat and that was it. Once in a while she would read to him or show him a toy, but mostly he was on his playmat. Our daycare is very highly recommended and we have loved it. They keep the babies entertained and are constantly working on development. I feel like he has changed so much since being in daycare. He is more vocal, hitting all of his milestones, and he seems much happier. We didn’t see the point in paying a nanny when she didn’t really interact with him much. Or daycare does that and it’s almost half the price of what we paid the nanny. I know not all daycares are good, but there are some really good ones.

I'm glad you found a place that works for you, but you sound a little nuts. Hanging out on the playmat and doing tummy time is what "teaches" 3 month olds. The reason your kid has progressed so much more since 6 months is because he ... is older than 3 months.

[Anonymous]

The biggest downside of daycare is usually the commute, but in this case the 8 minute walk is so short and sounds pleasant so I would try it out and see how it goes. You can always move to something else later if it doesn't work for you.

(Also, 18/hr and 36 hours a week is not really appealing for a nanny so you will not be getting the best candidates for the job. And a nanny doesn't want to deal with switching off with your MIL as a provider of care.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He will be close to 6 months when I go back to work. We can afford both options, but I don't know if a nanny is worth the added expense. My husband is very concerned about hiring a nanny because we don't have many days we can take off ( I'm a nurse, and he's in finance). I'm sure many people have great experiences with nannies, but the couples we know that hired nanny ether switched to daycare, or ended up going through 1-2 nannies before finding one that worked. My husband thinks we should go with the daycare close to us and we can see how it works. We can hire a nanny if it doesn't work out.

We are both clean and we do have a housekeeper. I know some posters mentioned perks of having the nanny do babu laundry and bottles, but that won't be needed. I will do laundry, and we just put the bottles in the dishwasher and run it at night. I'm not that concerned about packing up for daycare because it's only an 8 mile walk.

What do you mean you don't know how many days you can take off? If your child is sick, they can't go to daycare, but they can stay home with a nanny. I took WAY fewer sick days than my friends whose kids were in daycare and I had a nanny.

OP here. I took an extended maternity leave and my husband took paternity leave. We don’t have much time ever we can take off if the nanny calls off, etc., My MIlL and backup sitters will be there if we need someone to watch him while he’s home from daycare.

Them your mother in law and sitters would also be available if the nanny ever called in sick.

They want to do daycare. Why do you care so much? Daycare are just as good. There are pros and cons to both, but daycare is fine.

I disagree that “daycare is just as good” for an infant, but agree that OP should go with daycare. OP seems very price conscious ($18/hour will only get you a mediocre nanny in the DMV, and OP is haggling over 36 hours vs. 40) so daycare is the best option for her.

I agree with your conclusion - daycare is likely the best choice for this family - but $18 is fine for a nanny and that is indeed the hourly rate for the ones she has interviewed and likes. It's not "haggling" over hours when the employer is guaranteeing the the same hourly rate based on 40 hours at $18, which the OP specified she would do.

[Anonymous]

8 minute walk with only 12 babies total iin the daycare (so it's a pretty small daycare) actually seems like a pretty ideal situation. We did something like this (super close, small daycare that came very highyl recommended) and my kid is rarely sick, we don't waste time commuting, and they're very flexible because they're open for 10 hours a day. We never use all 10, but it's nice knowing they are there.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I'd walk with my child in the stroller or carrier if it was nice out and leave it at daycare. I actually credit that with losing the pregnancy weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He will be close to 6 months when I go back to work. We can afford both options, but I don't know if a nanny is worth the added expense. My husband is very concerned about hiring a nanny because we don't have many days we can take off ( I'm a nurse, and he's in finance). I'm sure many people have great experiences with nannies, but the couples we know that hired nanny ether switched to daycare, or ended up going through 1-2 nannies before finding one that worked. My husband thinks we should go with the daycare close to us and we can see how it works. We can hire a nanny if it doesn't work out.

We are both clean and we do have a housekeeper. I know some posters mentioned perks of having the nanny do babu laundry and bottles, but that won't be needed. I will do laundry, and we just put the bottles in the dishwasher and run it at night. I'm not that concerned about packing up for daycare because it's only an 8 mile walk.

What do you mean you don't know how many days you can take off? If your child is sick, they can't go to daycare, but they can stay home with a nanny. I took WAY fewer sick days than my friends whose kids were in daycare and I had a nanny.

OP here. I took an extended maternity leave and my husband took paternity leave. We don’t have much time ever we can take off if the nanny calls off, etc., My MIlL and backup sitters will be there if we need someone to watch him while he’s home from daycare.

Them your mother in law and sitters would also be available if the nanny ever called in sick.

They want to do daycare. Why do you care so much? Daycare are just as good. There are pros and cons to both, but daycare is fine.

I disagree that “daycare is just as good” for an infant, but agree that OP should go with daycare. OP seems very price conscious ($18/hour will only get you a mediocre nanny in the DMV, and OP is haggling over 36 hours vs. 40) so daycare is the best option for her.

I agree with your conclusion - daycare is likely the best choice for this family - but $18 is fine for a nanny and that is indeed the hourly rate for the ones she has interviewed and likes. It's not "haggling" over hours when the employer is guaranteeing the the same hourly rate based on 40 hours at $18, which the OP specified she would do.

I think OP should try out the nearby daycare first because it seems like daycares have waitlists. If it doesn't work out, she can always get a nanny. If she found two candidates she liked at 18/hr, then frankly, the nanny market isn't that competitive there. So it makes sense she should grab and try the scarcer resource first (daycare) and then, if that doesn't work out, fall back on a nanny since they don't seem that hard to find in her market.

[Anonymous]

The deciding factor for us was that DH and I didn't think it would be good for DD to be with a single adult caregiver all day. Even if the nanny takes the child to playgroups, etc., DD would be used to having the nanny there. There doesn't seem to be any fostering of independence. If it were me or DH that were staying home taking DD to playgroups, etc., at a certain point it seems like it would be weird for us to be around DD all day. They also do cool things at DD's daycare that I either wouldn't do, or it wouldn't be as "fun" for DD (zumbini, yoga, crafts).

We put DD in a well-regarded, wonderful local center when she was 6 months old. The older she gets, the easier it is to think of as school. She is still young for true socialization/independence, but she has benefited from being around older babies and other caregivers. We also lucked out that the infant room wasn't full and there, at most, have been five other babies in there, so six total with 2 caregivers, now down to 3 babies because they moved several to the older baby room.

The drop off and especially pick up are really, really hard and by far the worst part. Daycare is basically a third job. Also the daycare germs are real and have really kicked my butt more than DD's. I've been sick almost non-stop since December and I don't even think I've directly caught anything from DD; leaving really early, working all day, and doing pick-up is just really hard. constant grind.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the happy daycare parents above and just thought of one more factor we've appreciated: we've really liked our daycare community. We haven't made any close friends, but I attribute that to the fact that we already had a pretty tight community and weren't necessarily looking for new friends. Plenty of other daycare families have become friends with each other. What I've appreciated is that we've made a ton of acquaintances--other families who we bump into at every single local event we go to (kids concerts, festivals, playgrounds, soccer clinics, etc.), so the kids always know someone to play with, and we've always got other adults to talk to. My kids are 6, 4, and 2 now, and we've had some combination of them at the same daycare for almost 6 years, so we've built quite a network of local families through the years.

[Anonymous]

We are in similar positions in that my family also can afford a nanny, but we chose a daycare that's a 15 minute walk from home.

For me, I couldn't make myself okay with having a single relative stranger be alone with my baby all day. I'll be honest in that this is probably primarily caused by postpartum anxiety and not necessarily rational, but that was the deciding factor for me.

We started at 5 months. Baby was fine. Took a couple of weeks to start sleeping well at daycare, but it was a pretty short adjustment period. Seriously, she loves daycare. There are so many interesting and new toys for her to play with and she seems to really like interacting with the other babies (which started way earlier than I was expecting - at drop off she'd crawl to a toy and then crawl to a baby to share the toy pretty much as soon as she could crawl). She's one now and still seems really happy there, though I understand older toddlers sometimes have more separation anxiety than this age.

The illnesses have been tough, but we haven't had to deal with anything too serious. Mostly just a lot of sniffles. We've had to stay home with her I think 6 or 7 days. That probably is more than a nanny would call out in the same time period, and the sick days are definitely stressful, but if you have backup care I think it'll be manageable.

Anyway, it sounds like you want to do daycare. I know a lot of people insist nannies are necessary for infants but I really don't see it if it's a good daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He will be close to 6 months when I go back to work. We can afford both options, but I don't know if a nanny is worth the added expense. My husband is very concerned about hiring a nanny because we don't have many days we can take off ( I'm a nurse, and he's in finance). I'm sure many people have great experiences with nannies, but the couples we know that hired nanny ether switched to daycare, or ended up going through 1-2 nannies before finding one that worked. My husband thinks we should go with the daycare close to us and we can see how it works. We can hire a nanny if it doesn't work out.

We are both clean and we do have a housekeeper. I know some posters mentioned perks of having the nanny do babu laundry and bottles, but that won't be needed. I will do laundry, and we just put the bottles in the dishwasher and run it at night. I'm not that concerned about packing up for daycare because it's only an 8 mile walk.

What do you mean you don't know how many days you can take off? If your child is sick, they can't go to daycare, but they can stay home with a nanny. I took WAY fewer sick days than my friends whose kids were in daycare and I had a nanny.

OP here. I took an extended maternity leave and my husband took paternity leave. We don’t have much time ever we can take off if the nanny calls off, etc., My MIlL and backup sitters will be there if we need someone to watch him while he’s home from daycare.

Them your mother in law and sitters would also be available if the nanny ever called in sick.

They want to do daycare. Why do you care so much? Daycare are just as good. There are pros and cons to both, but daycare is fine.

I disagree that “daycare is just as good” for an infant, but agree that OP should go with daycare. OP seems very price conscious ($18/hour will only get you a mediocre nanny in the DMV, and OP is haggling over 36 hours vs. 40) so daycare is the best option for her.

OP here. We are not worried about $18/hour. We can afford both options. I know the weave is low competed to this area, but we live in the Midwest ( Chicago) where rates aren't as high. We are not haggling over hours. A friend suggested we not pay for 40 hours when we need 36, because some nannies will not feel comfortable having to babysit extra hours for the pay. They may feel indebted with the " banked hours", and it can cause an issue. It make more sense to pay for the 36 hours, and pay extra when we need babysitting hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest downside of daycare is usually the commute, but in this case the 8 minute walk is so short and sounds pleasant so I would try it out and see how it goes. You can always move to something else later if it doesn't work for you.

(Also, 18/hr and 36 hours a week is not really appealing for a nanny so you will not be getting the best candidates for the job. And a nanny doesn't want to deal with switching off with your MIL as a provider of care.)

OP here. We live in a cheaper area ( Chicago) where the average rates are $15-20 for a good nanny. I know it won't be for a full 40 hours, but we are willing to pay a higher wage. The 5 nannies we interviewed all quoted $16-18/hour.

The nanny will not have to switch off with my MIL. If we hire a nanny, she will work the 4 days ( M-TH, 8-5) that we need. We will only have my MIL care for our son if we put him daycare. The daycare is 2, 3 and 5 days. I will put him in for 3 days since I only work 4 days, and my MIL will watch him the fourth day that we need care.