If you have an excellent memory, tell us it's pros and cons

[Anonymous]

I remember everything. Every conversation I witnessed my parents having, every conversation with my friends. Everyone's birthdays, including my friends from grade school up through high school who I haven't seen in 30 years.
I also remember all the things I did wrong, all the mistakes I made, all the wrong assumptions, all the wrong acts. I can't forgive myself because I don't know how, and I remember everything, every day. When I'm asleep, it goes into my dreams. I wish I could forget things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have highly superior autobiographical memory or HSAM. It's been featured on 60 Minutes multiple times and I've been involved with a research team in California since 2011. I even flew out there for an MRI scan. The pros are that school was extremely easy in a lot of ways, as I was quickly able to memorize dates, formulas, parts of the brain, etc. I never forget friends' and family members' birthdays either! I am a teacher and my students find it fascinating and I can learn their names very quickly. The cons are that you have a stream of memories constantly running through your head that cannot be shut off. Therefore, every embarrassing and painful moment from my life stays with me like it was yesterday. Therefore, I relive my grandmother's death and the day my mom got her cancer diagnosis on an almost daily basis. It can be exhausting!

Wow! I remember watching that 60 Minutes episode and having a light bulb moment--while I've never had any tests done, I highly suspect I also have HSAM. Until I was in college and people started to comment, and then I watchws that 60 Minutes, I had no idea that my memory was anything unusual. And I'm also a teacher! It's been extremely helpful because I teach ESOL, so I often have students for multiple years, teach their siblings at the same time, and have worked with certain families for years. Being a non-classroom teacher means I'm in and out of many classrooms, and am able to recite class lists at will, and can recall which teacher a certain student had for kindergarten 3 years prior. I can advise teachers about students' past traumas or tidbits of information that might have come out in a meeting with a student's parents years before. I'm a bit famous in my school for knowing "every" student (population is about 700) and I'm the one people come to with questions about their students' families, because once I find out information, I never forget it. Things like that make it fun to have this random "skill."

On the flip side, it is distracting because I'm flooded with memories all the time. It's hard to move on from past embarrassments sometimes. And I'm never quite sure if a recall is something "normal" people would remember. For example, we had a baby shower for a coworker last year, and their theme was penguins, because apparently she really likes penguins. This year, my own DD grew out of some cute penguin pajamas, and I hesitated about whether to pass them on to my coworker, who I don't know super well, because I didn't know if it was weird that I remembered the connection. It can also be frustrating in everyday conversation, when others have selective memory about how certain events went down, and I explicitly remember exactly what happened, and their version ain't it.

But all in all, it's pretty cool. I like being an elephant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I no longer have an excellent memory. Before age 30, I often would remember people who had no recollection of me.

Same. This is the only con for me! I used to think it meant that I must not be memorable. Maybe it does mean this, in part....but I also think it is because I have a good memory.

[Anonymous]

At 47, mine's starting to go just a bit. Which is not a terrible thing overall because at times it was distracting having so much *stuff* whirling around in there. My friends used to use me as their memory - like I'd get a call asking, "Who was that guy I dated freshman year who kind of smelled?" and I always knew who it was.

The big upside/downside: my memory for people I've met is very, very good. Upside: I almost never have to rack my brain for the name of someone i've met once or twice. Downside: it freaks people out when you remember them clearly and they don't remember you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I no longer have an excellent memory. Before age 30, I often would remember people who had no recollection of me.

Same. This is the only con for me! I used to think it meant that I must not be memorable. Maybe it does mean this, in part....but I also think it is because I have a good memory.

Ahhh yes me too! I would meet someone like 4 times and eventually just had to play along that we were meeting for the first time and fight the urge to say, "oh nice to see you again, we met at the last event. you told me your life story...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I no longer have an excellent memory. Before age 30, I often would remember people who had no recollection of me.

Same. This is the only con for me! I used to think it meant that I must not be memorable. Maybe it does mean this, in part....but I also think it is because I have a good memory.

Ahhh yes me too! I would meet someone like 4 times and eventually just had to play along that we were meeting for the first time and fight the urge to say, "oh nice to see you again, we met at the last event. you told me your life story...."

Yes! It is hard and sad to feel so forgettable....which is why I tell myself it must just be that I have a better memory...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The awkwardness thing is huge!

NP here.

I remember people easily, including small conversations we may have had in passing. I often feel awkward when speaking to an acquaintance and I know all about them but they barely even remember that we once spoke. I spend a lot of time thinking about what is the 'normal' amount of remembering to try and avoid looking rude (acting like I am meeting them for the first time) and wayyy to invested (because I remember all this random sh*t about them).

I also used to get bent out of shape when I was younger and used to remember everything about others, but they didn't remember everything about me. I wondered if I didn't 'matter' to them. It took a while to realize that *I* was the odd one...

Like others have said, though, it definitely was a major advantage in school. It actually let me excel in an academic environment despite my ADHD.

Exactly this! I constantly second guess things to make sure I only reveal the normal amount of remembering someone. I still have to remind myself that my memory isn't the norm and to not be offended when people don't remember things about me. As PP's have said, I feel old hurt too much, but also old joy.

[Anonymous]

Grudges and too much in my mind. Since I can remember details of so many events and things, I also can hold grudges over those that have done me wrong, way past the time that they don't even remember the event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grudges and too much in my mind. Since I can remember details of so many events and things, I also can hold grudges over those that have done me wrong, way past the time that they don't even remember the event.

I think there may be more going on here than a super good memory.

[Anonymous]

Pros: You are super organized and can really establish rapport with people

Cons: You get frustrated how others can't remember things and everone seems incompetent. And, you remember everything horrible that's ever happened to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pros: You are super organized and can really establish rapport with people

Cons: You get frustrated how others can't remember things and everone seems incompetent. And, you remember everything horrible that's ever happened to you

Bonus: I'm a visual learner. So, if I see a name, then write it, I have pretty much committed it to memory. Ask me at the end of the day if I entered data on anyone specific and I can tell you without looking. I can also quickly make connections based on the name. Same skill for street names. I can remember who lives near one another or shares an address.

I taught myself to read at age 4 by reading the spines of my grandfather's extensive, shelved library. He'd ask me to find a book and pull it off the shelf for him...hours of fun!

My first memory was from before 2 and is oddly specific.

Thought-provoking question for the dcum masses: is having a keen memory a mark of intelligence? High IQ? I ask because I don't think of myself as smart.

[Anonymous]

I'm a great speller, fast reader, and math comes easily once I am given the equation. I can recite what I read or hear in near verbatim and if I listen to a song on the radio, I can tell you where I was when I first heard it as well as any movies containing the song. I'm especially good at remembering places and small details--where you put your keys, the shirt you wore this time last week, or where my desk was in my second-grade classroom. However, I keep grudges. I have trouble sleeping. I often have a hard time with forgetting and letting go of fears that I obtained during childhood. Bad memories are often relived in detail. Sometimes I even accidentally take advantage of my ability to remember information--I'll remember something, recite it, and do whatever with it without even understanding what I read!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have highly superior autobiographical memory or HSAM. It's been featured on 60 Minutes multiple times and I've been involved with a research team in California since 2011. I even flew out there for an MRI scan. The pros are that school was extremely easy in a lot of ways, as I was quickly able to memorize dates, formulas, parts of the brain, etc. I never forget friends' and family members' birthdays either! I am a teacher and my students find it fascinating and I can learn their names very quickly. The cons are that you have a stream of memories constantly running through your head that cannot be shut off. Therefore, every embarrassing and painful moment from my life stays with me like it was yesterday. Therefore, I relive my grandmother's death and the day my mom got her cancer diagnosis on an almost daily basis. It can be exhausting!

Interesting. How did you find out you have this?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I'm a great speller, fast reader, and math comes easily once I am given the equation. I can recite what I read or hear in near verbatim and if I listen to a song on the radio, I can tell you where I was when I first heard it as well as any movies containing the song. I'm especially good at remembering places and small details--where you put your keys, the shirt you wore this time last week, or where my desk was in my second-grade classroom. However, I keep grudges. I have trouble sleeping. I often have a hard time with forgetting and letting go of fears that I obtained during childhood. Bad memories are often relived in detail. Sometimes I even accidentally take advantage of my ability to remember information--I'll remember something, recite it, and do whatever with it without even understanding what I read![/quote]

This is me!

[Anonymous]

I have a great memory for certain things (song lyrics, passages in books, remembering people/events) but am horrible in certain other areas. Back in the day, we were supposed to memorize times tables. I could not do it. Still don't know them. I have to quickly calculate in my head (in a visual way) because I don't know off-hand what 8x7 is.

Like others, I remember events distinctly and I also have issues with grudges.