Why are some parents so clueless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow some of you PPs are total jerks. These are activities your kid is involved in and you just can’t be bothered because you have more important things to do? It’s sad that your kids will see how unimportant they are to you when you are late or they show up unprepared etc. Guess what, we are all busy and somehow get our kids together for their activities.

Are you even a parent? There are a million things to do every day to take care of our kids. Just because they are unprepared for something EXTRA doesn't mean they have bad parents or parents who think they are unimportant. Plus, PP and others -- some kids are involved in more than one activity and maybe yours is not the most important one of many.

DP here. I'm a pretty involved parent. I remember last year my kid started strings. I put the concert in my calendar. The day before my DS says he has to wear a black shirt. I go out of my way to go buy him a black polo shirt at the mall. Then the day of, he says it is a white shirt or he doesn't know. I emailed the strings teacher. I'm sure she thinks I can't read because I realized there was a very clear letter that stated that the evening concert for families was a white shirt and the during school concert was a black t shirt that everyone in the orchestra was given. I went back to the email and the email was soooooo long. Keep the emails short, people.

Wait--you're admitting there was an earlier email that had the relevant instructions, and which you admit you failed to read and follow, but then you blame the teacher by saying the message was "soooo long"? When a teacher emails you, you need to take the time to wade through it all, when it comes, however long you think it is. This wasn't even a PTA email or one from some extracurricular activity. It was from a teacher. Let me guess -- "It's only strings, not a 'real' class" is how you'd respond.

This is great advice for people who have nothing else to do but read that one email.

Kind of. Do most people set aside time to really sit down and read through email, put things on their calendar, write out the dress code for school concerts, etc? Do you have a weekly time for this? A daily time for it?
I tend to check email a few times a day when I have a few minutes here or there and I either respond, throw it out, or save it. It’s kind of rare that I really go back and comb through those saved emails.

Yes, they do, if you want your kid to show up with the right dress code, etc. I work full time and some how manage to read instructions about my kid's activities. I sometimes get annoyed with other parents constantly asking ME what the instructions are. As if they are sooooo busy and some how I am not?

Do you do it weekly or daily? Do you and your husband look through these things together? Do you go through it every night when you are getting stuff together for the next day? I am not trying to be an asshole here. I’m just wondering what other people do.

[Anonymous]

/\ No, you don’t have to be extreme. Just write it down when you get the email so you know how to prepare your kid. Done.

[Anonymous]

Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a coach for a high school athletic team. Somehow I get a bunch of teenage boys to show up on time and with the proper equipment with no exceptions and only rare communication with their parents.

Figure it out, OP. You are all adults. Either what you are saying you want really isn’t that important to you, or you are not communicating effectively with the people you are supposed to be leading.

Well sure, you are good at your job. Most of us are. I'm sure many of us have a hierarchy - job items first, then medical, then recreational, and do the best we can to check off everything on our list. But sometimes those things a little down the list (like remembering to have your first grader wear green on school spirit day) might fall through the cracks every now and then even when your job to-do's are all on target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:/\ No, you don’t have to be extreme. Just write it down when you get the email so you know how to prepare your kid. Done.

Ok. But some of these emails are 3-5 pages when printed. I don’t always have time at that moment to go through it. When do people do that stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a coach for a high school athletic team. Somehow I get a bunch of teenage boys to show up on time and with the proper equipment with no exceptions and only rare communication with their parents.

Figure it out, OP. You are all adults. Either what you are saying you want really isn’t that important to you, or you are not communicating effectively with the people you are supposed to be leading.

Well sure, you are good at your job. Most of us are. I'm sure many of us have a hierarchy - job items first, then medical, then recreational, and do the best we can to check off everything on our list. But sometimes those things a little down the list (like remembering to have your first grader wear green on school spirit day) might fall through the cracks every now and then even when your job to-do's are all on target.

This isn’t my job. I’m a physician and a father of four. This is a hobby.

Anyway, my point honestly isn’t that everyone should remember to have their first grader wear green. It’s that there shouldn’t be a school spirit day. Because obviously no one cares about it. The kids don’t care enough to remember. The parents (myself included) don’t care enough to look out for it. And the people organizing it don’t care enough to make sure it is communicated in a way that it will actually happen.
I am sure that someone at some point cared about Green Day, but they are gone now, so just stop. There is someone at my kids elementary school right now who is very passionate about the landscaping of the school, and he organizes school clean-up and planting days, and you can be sure that we all know when they are, and tons of people come out to help. But when he goes, someone else who doesn’t really care will probably take it over and then blame the parents and the kids for not showing up and helping.

[Anonymous]

Some people have ADD, depression, are caring for ill family members, dealing with abuse, feel overwhelmed, or just do not have those skills, OP. Sounds like you should start meditating.

[Anonymous]

Attitudes like OP's drive other parents away from participating. You can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

Nope, I’m OP and I do work outside the home. You are not busier than I am. But I make the time to help organize my kids’ activities. Parents like you who never help out because you are somehow busier than the rest of us is one thing. But when you don’t even take the time to read (very short) instructions about what your kid needs to show up with, that is totally disrespectful to your kid who is benefitting from the experience and the volunteers who are organizing it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

Nope, I’m OP and I do work outside the home. You are not busier than I am. But I make the time to help organize my kids’ activities. Parents like you who never help out because you are somehow busier than the rest of us is one thing. But when you don’t even take the time to read (very short) instructions about what your kid needs to show up with, that is totally disrespectful to your kid who is benefitting from the experience and the volunteers who are organizing it for you.

Nobody cares as seriously as you. So just chill. You’re so worked up because the other parents don’t feel as intensely about this activity. The solution is you need to dial it down and care at their level then.

[Anonymous]

is it really about level of importance or just a bad habit. I dunno, I get the same behavior at work - important details missed when not bothering to read the whole (short) email. slow down, read and take note - the devil really is in the details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

Nope, I’m OP and I do work outside the home. You are not busier than I am. But I make the time to help organize my kids’ activities. Parents like you who never help out because you are somehow busier than the rest of us is one thing. But when you don’t even take the time to read (very short) instructions about what your kid needs to show up with, that is totally disrespectful to your kid who is benefitting from the experience and the volunteers who are organizing it for you.

Nobody cares as seriously as you. So just chill. You’re so worked up because the other parents don’t feel as intensely about this activity. The solution is you need to dial it down and care at their level then.

If you don’t care then do t sign your kid up for the activity. Your lack of caring affects the rest of the group when we have to accommodate your kid who is unprepared or late or whatever. You don’t deserve the things other volunteers organize for your kid. I feel sorry for your kid who surely knows you do t care.

[Anonymous]

Because families are SO BUSY and distracted. When I was on the PTA board and sending emails about school happenings, half the parents didn’t even open the emails. Each kid has multiple activities, and most families have more than one kid.

It’s just too much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

Nope, I’m OP and I do work outside the home. You are not busier than I am. But I make the time to help organize my kids’ activities. Parents like you who never help out because you are somehow busier than the rest of us is one thing. But when you don’t even take the time to read (very short) instructions about what your kid needs to show up with, that is totally disrespectful to your kid who is benefitting from the experience and the volunteers who are organizing it for you.

Nobody cares as seriously as you. So just chill. You’re so worked up because the other parents don’t feel as intensely about this activity. The solution is you need to dial it down and care at their level then.

If you don’t care then do t sign your kid up for the activity. Your lack of caring affects the rest of the group when we have to accommodate your kid who is unprepared or late or whatever. You don’t deserve the things other volunteers organize for your kid. I feel sorry for your kid who surely knows you do t care.

Haha jokes on you. I care so little my kid doesn’t even do these silly activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is the type of woman who doesn’t work outside the home so to make herself feel busy and important and as if she has a job, she takes very small things like being team mom incredibly seriously and spends an hour on an email update.

However, those of us who DO work outside the home and have to jiggle a million tasks and keep up with a work inbox and myriad requests at our job don’t keep up with personal email on a daily basis and miss her stuff. I check my personal email maybe twice a week. So I might miss some stuff but I’m not a pain in the ass about it. I won’t ask you to catch me up. It’s just that I might not contribute to some canned food drive or whatever because I missed the email to bring it in. The world spins madly on.

Nope, I’m OP and I do work outside the home. You are not busier than I am. But I make the time to help organize my kids’ activities. Parents like you who never help out because you are somehow busier than the rest of us is one thing. But when you don’t even take the time to read (very short) instructions about what your kid needs to show up with, that is totally disrespectful to your kid who is benefitting from the experience and the volunteers who are organizing it for you.

Nobody cares as seriously as you. So just chill. You’re so worked up because the other parents don’t feel as intensely about this activity. The solution is you need to dial it down and care at their level then.

If you don’t care then do t sign your kid up for the activity. Your lack of caring affects the rest of the group when we have to accommodate your kid who is unprepared or late or whatever. You don’t deserve the things other volunteers organize for your kid. I feel sorry for your kid who surely knows you do t care.

Haha jokes on you. I care so little my kid doesn’t even do these silly activities.

No sadly, the joke is on your poor kid