Do any other sahm not leave their house or..just me?
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Anonymous
| Troll is eating well this morning. |
Anonymous
I think it also has a lot to do with family dynamics. If I had just one child, things may be different. I’m a SAHM of three kids. All 3 kids go to school (youngest goes twice per week for 3 hours). When we stay home, it is constant fighting. Youngest gets in the way of older 2 playing. Middle child fights with both older and younger child. We bought a giant 10,000+ sf house in attempts of creating different spaces for all of us but all the children move together. I take turns taking kids out. It separates the kids and splits up our day. My 10yo is a homebody. When he was an only child, we could easily have stayed home all day. He loves to read, draw, so arts and crafts, play with legos, etc. he is old enough to stay home alone for an hour or two and loves when I take the younger two out of the house so he can have some alone time. My middle child is go, go, go. He is high energy and super social. He can have a play date, soccer game and birthday party on a Saturday and even that is not enough. He would never be able to just stay home all day. My youngest is fine being home or out. She is similar to OP’s child’s age. I bring her to meet up with friends or do things I want to do. It is actually fun going out with her. She is so curious and I love watching her play. She also has less tantrums and we are happier being out and about. I don’t really understand people who think it is too much of a hassle to get ready to go out. It takes us less than 10 min to get out the door for the two of us. People also use the same excuse not to travel. They say it is too much of a hassle. Everyone is just different. |
Anonymous
It's fine to be a homebody. At that age, though, kids do need to play outside. Sun exposure in the morning is especially important. Being out in nature will help prevent sensory issues later. They also need to socialize and get used to other kids and, crucially, other adults. You are two years away from kindergarten. It is so beneficial to children to learn that they can trust others, get their needs met in different situations, and advocate for themselves. Even if you can give your child her whole world right now that's not always going to be the case. I remind myself that whatever path my children take, they will need to function effectively with other mentors, teachers, co-workers. Your child will look to you as a model of how to function in different environments. Taking them out is part of giving them that exposure and modeling. Also, exposure to new and varied environments is important for building vocabulary and concepts. Reading is difficult without knowing what the words hook on to. |
Anonymous
| I think it just you. |
Anonymous
| I SAH with a 3 year old and I consider ourselves homebodies but we go out every day even if just to grab a coffee or go grocery shopping if not playgrounds. On very bad weather days or if I’m really tired we may stay home. |
Anonymous
No, not really. OP, I think most people need to go out because they are not able to spend that much time with their kids at home. It seems you are your kid are happy to do activities at home and chill. She is only 3 so this is quite ok. Going forward, try to go out at least once a week with her, and see how she does. |
Anonymous
| OP, does this mean your child doesn’t see anybody besides you all day 5x/week? Yes, I think that’s a problem. |
Anonymous
| That is so sad! I live for nice days when I can put my kids in a stroller and walk into town and do fun things like go to the playground. You are really depriving your child and need to deal with it. |
Anonymous
| sign her up for morning preschool and get some Wellbutrin. |
Anonymous
| Not me. We are out every morning either to go to the park, a playgroup, older child to preschool, run errands. Either eat lunch out (e.g. picnic in park) or at home, and then they are down for naps and play at home or in the backyard after that. I go stir crazy on the occasional day when kids are sick and we can't go anywhere. |
Anonymous
|
I only know one mom like that and even they go for walks.
Super anxious mom, the child is super social, felt so sad for the child. Luckily child is in preschool now. Mom is still anxious/depressed. |
Anonymous
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Was OP talking about staying INSIDE all the time or about not leaving the property?
Either way, not even walking to a park or playground would have been unimaginable to me, and I lean hermit (although I also had to work). And although as a natural hermit I like to stay home I also find I start feeling anxious and depressed late afternoon if I have not left the house at all. |
Anonymous
Really? In a prime developmental age of exposing a young mind to the world, a once a week trip to Target outside the confines of the home is sufficient? Once a week trip to a casual restaurant on a Saturday is enough? I think it's awesome OP can occupy a kid at home so well and she sounds like she has an easy kid. But, big BUT, this does not sound like setting your kid up for the best success in the future unless you are purposefully imposing introversion and planning on homeschooling. All of the little "outings" and interaction with the world, I think, do matter. And yes, to echo PPs. Why no preschool? |
Anonymous
This was me, not to this extent. I would go take her out a few times a week, but there were definitely days when we stayed in. For me it was surely because of my depression and some days, all I could do was just engage with her at home rather than putting all my energy in getting out. You might be a hermit, but your kid is not, so maybe aim for 2 days a week, to begin with when you can take her out. Nothing big just trips to the playground, library or even grocery store/ mall. Another thing you can look into is connecting with other SAHMs and meet them for coffee, so you get your low effort outing and the kid gets to meet other kids her age. You could also do playdates when it gets colder outside. Some days we just got out and walked on our street sidewalks. A 3-year-old can spend a good amount of time doing that, looking around and stopping ever so often. I also took her out on the trike, bike, scooter etc. Maybe look into enrolling her into some music/ dance class etc, this will force you to get a weekly outing and also help her in socializing with other kids. I wouldn't say its horrible, but it isn't good for the kid either. Lastly, you seem to put all your energy into taking care of the kid, please take care of yourself also. All the things that you mentioned that you do on weekends, can be done on weekdays and then you could spend the weekends getting some time off for yourself, a little trip for mani-pedi or haircut or getting a baby sitter and going on a date, or just relaxing at a coffee shop and reading. |
Anonymous
| Even if you don't like taking your child out and giving her socialization opportunities, you can outsource this task--it's called preschool. |