How do you survive the evenings with 2+ kids?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try and prepare meals in advance as much as possible. I have two kids, one 2 and the other 8 months and weekends are the hardest. Evenings we can fill with park, meals, bath, bedtime routine, sleep. I found that having the meals ready ahead of time makes a huge difference.

I think this is great in theory, but it's really, really difficult if both parents work. Even if one gets off early, like I do. I think the idea of having a "meal prep day" on the weekend is also great in theory, but it's hard unless one of us takes the kids out without the other, or unless we can get a babysitter. Because the kids go to bed by 7:30, I prefer to spend our weekends together because we get so little of that during the week.

The early bedtime is great for meal prep the night before. Leftovers into containers for lunch the next day, clean up dinner, prep next day's dinner. We were not eating anything complicated.

[Anonymous]

I do this every night with twin two year olds and a 3 month old. When you do it every night it doesn’t seem hard.

[Anonymous]

Add music to your evenings. It will condition them to wind down for bed...over time.

Do everything everyone else suggested and know that this is hell, but temporary.

Get your 2yo to participate in some way and build upon that. At age 5, DS was taking a shower by himself, while I dealt with his younger sister.

They are only a little older now, but have tasks associated with when they come home and helping to prepare dinner. Music plays. I get to learn more about their day. Good manners and communication skills are affirmed. And, most importantly, I no longer feel like I friggin work for them. They aren't passive recipients of my labor anymore. We interact and cooperate. It feels great, like the family life I'd imagined.

This is a sucky time, OP. We all know it. This too shall pass. You got this!

[Anonymous]

I have four ages 7, 4, 3, and 2 months. I pour a big glass of wine at 5pm every day to prepare me for bedtime routine! It is a huge struggle every night even with my husband involved.

[Anonymous]

This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if OP has a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

I am going to disagree. Mine are 5, 7, 10, and 11, and it is SO much easier now than when I had an infant and a toddler.
Yesterday I made dinner in the crockpot. When DH got home, he and I had a glass of wine on the deck while the kids played. Then we ate, and the kids cleaned up while DH and I talked some more. After dinner I took older kids to activities. When they were done, we came home and I read a book that I actually find interesting and answered interesting and thoughtful questions about the story. Then I sent the kids up to bed and they just went to sleep.

Ughh...so much easier than reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” three times in a row while trying to ignore a screaming eight month old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with 2244.
We dont do screen time that close to bedtime and theres no need why you can't have regular fully cooked meals for dinner.

I solo parent an baby, 2, and 4 yr old. We play outside starting around 445/5. Around 620ish we come in, the girls play barbie, puzzles, color, help with dinner, whatever.
For dinner, 95% of prep is done already. I do it during nap/quiet time/night before, etc So much easier using a crock pot, or cedar plank salmon on the grill, or a chicken bake....all examples to streamline dinner.
Sometimes we'll play again outside after dinner or just stay inside and play. Baby gets fussy about this time so I ditch cleaning up the kitchen (it usually isn't too messy anyway) and leave it for after everyone is in bed so I can focus on bedtime transition. Sometimes all 3 are in the bath tub at the same time, sometimes it is a quick in/out bath or shower. I'll tell a story, read, talk before lights out.

Are you a sahm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

I am going to disagree. Mine are 5, 7, 10, and 11, and it is SO much easier now than when I had an infant and a toddler.
Yesterday I made dinner in the crockpot. When DH got home, he and I had a glass of wine on the deck while the kids played. Then we ate, and the kids cleaned up while DH and I talked some more. After dinner I took older kids to activities. When they were done, we came home and I read a book that I actually find interesting and answered interesting and thoughtful questions about the story. Then I sent the kids up to bed and they just went to sleep.

Ughh...so much easier than reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” three times in a row while trying to ignore a screaming eight month old.

+1. The screaming makes the biggest difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

I am going to disagree. Mine are 5, 7, 10, and 11, and it is SO much easier now than when I had an infant and a toddler.
Yesterday I made dinner in the crockpot. When DH got home, he and I had a glass of wine on the deck while the kids played. Then we ate, and the kids cleaned up while DH and I talked some more. After dinner I took older kids to activities. When they were done, we came home and I read a book that I actually find interesting and answered interesting and thoughtful questions about the story. Then I sent the kids up to bed and they just went to sleep.

Ughh...so much easier than reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” three times in a row while trying to ignore a screaming eight month old.

+1. The screaming makes the biggest difference.

+2

Also, the older kids are (or should be) much more independent than younger ones, and that makes a world of difference. Mine are 8, 6, and 3 and it's SO much easier than it was two years or even a year ago. So much easier. Older kids can help with dinner, do at least some of their HW on their own, get ready for bed independently, etc. But multiple kids preschool age and younger? That's not easy to do solo, unless you have automatons for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

I am going to disagree. Mine are 5, 7, 10, and 11, and it is SO much easier now than when I had an infant and a toddler.
Yesterday I made dinner in the crockpot. When DH got home, he and I had a glass of wine on the deck while the kids played. Then we ate, and the kids cleaned up while DH and I talked some more. After dinner I took older kids to activities. When they were done, we came home and I read a book that I actually find interesting and answered interesting and thoughtful questions about the story. Then I sent the kids up to bed and they just went to sleep.

Ughh...so much easier than reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” three times in a row while trying to ignore a screaming eight month old.

I think the main difference here is that your youngest is 5, while the other poster's youngest is 2. Makes a pretty big difference...

[Anonymous]

We pay for help. Sitter comes every day from 4-7 and also helps clean up (and picks up from daycare). Hands down the best money I spend. Evenings are relatively calm and even when they aren't, they are manageable because there is an extra body around. 3.5 year old and 14 month old. Both are fed and in bed by 7:00.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This should be not that bad. I wouldn't go as far to say easy...

But not "this is soooo hard" either. I have a 2,7,9 year old now and it is a lot more work than when I had baby and toddler. Now there is a bigger dinner needed, homework to be on top of, music and sports to be taken to..all while entertaining toddler. And then bathing and reading, but each child does this separately now (different genders and reading levels and interests) which is time consuming and lights out. On a smooth school night everyone is in bed by 8:30. In the summer it can go as late at 10.

Make an easy dinner, put the baby and toddler in the bath together. Have a bath sling for the baby in the bathtub. Wash baby up quickly, wrap in a towel and transfer baby to a bouncer seat in the bathroom next to you while you finish up toddler bath. Get their pjs on together. Nurse/bottle feed baby while you read toddler a bedtime story. Put baby in bed. Put toddler in bed and give some extra snuggles. Done. Go clean the kitchen. I would aim to have them both in bed by 7.

I am going to disagree. Mine are 5, 7, 10, and 11, and it is SO much easier now than when I had an infant and a toddler.
Yesterday I made dinner in the crockpot. When DH got home, he and I had a glass of wine on the deck while the kids played. Then we ate, and the kids cleaned up while DH and I talked some more. After dinner I took older kids to activities. When they were done, we came home and I read a book that I actually find interesting and answered interesting and thoughtful questions about the story. Then I sent the kids up to bed and they just went to sleep.

Ughh...so much easier than reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt” three times in a row while trying to ignore a screaming eight month old.

I think the main difference here is that your youngest is 5, while the other poster's youngest is 2. Makes a pretty big difference...

And you have a husband around. For whatever reason, OP doesn't have that. The adult company alone helps to alleviate the stress of evening routine.

[Anonymous]

I have a 6mo and 2yo and am on my own most nights. It got SOOOOOO much easier when I slept trained the baby - it was a total shit show when I couldn't put him down quickly. This is the routine and it runs smoothly but the 2 key pieces are 1) slept trained baby and 2) 2yo that generally cooperates with bedtime

5:50 - warm up something for toddlers dinner
6:00 - toddler starts dinner
6:15 - baby starts first half of last bottle
6:30 - both in bathtub together
6:45 - baby has last half of bottle and books, in crib at 7 on the dot. meanwhile toddler gets ipad time in his bedroom wrapped in his towel
7:00 - toddler gets dressed, teeth brush, and books
7:30 - toddler down
8:00 - kitchen clean up is done

Its an endurance event but isn't very stressful at this point. Before the baby was slept trained I put him down after toddler so that I could spend as much time as needed with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6mo and 2yo and am on my own most nights. It got SOOOOOO much easier when I slept trained the baby - it was a total shit show when I couldn't put him down quickly. This is the routine and it runs smoothly but the 2 key pieces are 1) slept trained baby and 2) 2yo that generally cooperates with bedtime

5:50 - warm up something for toddlers dinner
6:00 - toddler starts dinner
6:15 - baby starts first half of last bottle
6:30 - both in bathtub together
6:45 - baby has last half of bottle and books, in crib at 7 on the dot. meanwhile toddler gets ipad time in his bedroom wrapped in his towel
7:00 - toddler gets dressed, teeth brush, and books
7:30 - toddler down
8:00 - kitchen clean up is done

Its an endurance event but isn't very stressful at this point. Before the baby was slept trained I put him down after toddler so that I could spend as much time as needed with him

Also some tips on the food - I buy precooked chicken, fishsticks, sausage etc and the toddler generally gets that for a protein, a pasta i made earlier in the week, and veggies / fruit. Nothing is cooked most nights. If it's just me home I make myself a sandwich for dinner, if DH and I are both home then we eat prepared food from a grocery store or one of us cooks a little b/c we have more capacity with 2 of us home. Do not even attempt to cook a full hot dinner at this stage, its not worth the effort and just creates more clean up work