Would you feel comfortable with your 7th grade DD...

[Anonymous]

How is this a big deal OP? Your 13 year old can't sit alone for 30 minutes in broad daylight outside of school?

I don't get it. What am I missing? What do you think is going to happen to her?

[Anonymous]

The people worried about the bad weather, it's 30 minutes and she's not stranded in Alaska.

Hat/winter coat/gloves
Umbrella/raincoat

How are these kids going to be self-sufficient adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure that she is allowed to sit in the bench. At my son’s school, they will yell at any kid who is on the school grounds and not in an official club. My son has missed a club because he had trouble finding the room and gotten yelled at to leave. And gotten yelled at very being outside on school property.

Yeah, I wouldn't be concerned about safety but I'm not 100% sure this would fly. Schools tend not to be fans of students loitering on the property for a long time after school dismisses, unless they're in an officially sanctioned activity. They are likely concerned about liability. And the school office is a place of work, not an aftercare provider, and a student just hanging around for 30 minutes every week is going to be an annoying presence at the very least. They have stuff they have to do when the students go home, not all of which is appropriate for a student to see or overhear.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Well, DD waited outside for me and was told by staff to sit in the office instead. There’s a very kind receptionist who told me they are there until 4 and my DD is welcome to wait in there.

[Anonymous]

OP, that's great! Problem solved!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am pretty permissive but I actually do not love this plan, with 7th grade DD sitting outside at the same time every week. One time -- no problem. From time-to-time -- no problem. Taking the bus doesn't bother me at all. But essentially to be visibly and routinely alone in public, on a predictable schedule = target for bad guys. I would make plans for her to be inside somewhere. Plenty of ideas upthread, to which I would add, if she is going to be alone and unsupervised, that's OK, but make sure she is not always visibly in the same spot at the same time. Change it up, frequently.

Would you be similarly uncomfortable with the idea of OP's daughter walking home from school on the same route at the same time every day?

Just wanted to chime in on this one: For me it would depend a whole lot on the route and setting. I used to take care to mix up my routes when running in the city as part of basic self-defense / situational awareness. I can't comment on the particulars here but it's solid non-hysterical general advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well, DD waited outside for me and was told by staff to sit in the office instead. There’s a very kind receptionist who told me they are there until 4 and my DD is welcome to wait in there.

Maybe your dd could ask the kind receptionist if there was anything she could help with for those 30 minutes. It would really endear her to the staff and make the time fly by. I know when my dd was that age she loved to help out the teachers and staff at her school. They were always happy to have an extra set of hands for stuffing envelopes or sorting papers.

[Anonymous]

My 9th grader is at school for a good 2 hours or more until I can pick him up. This is every day. He stays in the library until they close and then either sits in the lobby or watches a sports game. I would've let him him do this since 6th grade or so.

[Anonymous]

This is not an issue. I’m a teacher and at my school kids are all over the place inside and out after school. Plenty don’t leave the school grounds for over 30 minutes for many reasons. She can wait inside if it’s lightening.

This year my two children have practice at the same time at different places. I drop my 11 year old off at his field 30 min early to warm up because he’s older. He’s fine with it and so am I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

Unbelievable. I walked home from school everyday from second to eighth grade and then hitchhiked to and from high school until I got my drivers lisence and you are worrying about a seventh grader standing in front of a school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be fine with my 5th grader sitting outside a school, on a covered bench, for 30 minutes each afternoon.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

Unbelievable. I walked home from school everyday from second to eighth grade and then hitchhiked to and from high school until I got my drivers lisence and you are worrying about a seventh grader standing in front of a school?

Not sure I’d take advice from someone who hitchhiked. Sounds like you have poor judgement. I was born in the 70s and even knew not to hitchhike!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

Unbelievable. I walked home from school everyday from second to eighth grade and then hitchhiked to and from high school until I got my drivers lisence and you are worrying about a seventh grader standing in front of a school?

Not sure I’d take advice from someone who hitchhiked. Sounds like you have poor judgement. I was born in the 70s and even knew not to hitchhike!

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Update Op?