Would you feel comfortable with your 7th grade DD...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't she wait in the library that day?

+1 There will be plenty of kids there, or in teacher's classrooms.

[Anonymous]

Thank you - these are good ideas. Unfortunately there’s nothing around for her to walk to (but she could walk the track in the back for exercise). I will ask if she can sit in the office, too. The teachers will still be in the building.

[Anonymous]

She has options inside of school. Most teachers offer extra help from last bell until sports start. Extra help never a bad thing! Library must be open too. 30 minutes for HW is great.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she can participate in some of the afterschool clubs like a homework club or something until you pick her up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

That's the dangerous part. Please do not do that. Put the phone away when you drive.

For her to sit in front of the school for 30 minutes, that's fine. For you to drive distracted for 30 minutes because you're worried that something might happen to her while she's sitting in front of the school, is not fine. You'd be endangering everybody else on the road, including other children who are walking home from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

That's the dangerous part. Please do not do that. Put the phone away when you drive.

For her to sit in front of the school for 30 minutes, that's fine. For you to drive distracted for 30 minutes because you're worried that something might happen to her while she's sitting in front of the school, is not fine. You'd be endangering everybody else on the road, including other children who are walking home from school.

?????? It is 2019. You don’t have to have your phone out to take a call in the car, unless you have a very old car.

[Anonymous]

lol no it is not dangerous to speak and drive at the same time.

I am pretty permissive but I actually do not love this plan, with 7th grade DD sitting outside at the same time every week. One time -- no problem. From time-to-time -- no problem. Taking the bus doesn't bother me at all. But essentially to be visibly and routinely alone in public, on a predictable schedule = target for bad guys. I would make plans for her to be inside somewhere. Plenty of ideas upthread, to which I would add, if she is going to be alone and unsupervised, that's OK, but make sure she is not always visibly in the same spot at the same time. Change it up, frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol no it is not dangerous to speak and drive at the same time.

I am pretty permissive but I actually do not love this plan, with 7th grade DD sitting outside at the same time every week. One time -- no problem. From time-to-time -- no problem. Taking the bus doesn't bother me at all. But essentially to be visibly and routinely alone in public, on a predictable schedule = target for bad guys. I would make plans for her to be inside somewhere. Plenty of ideas upthread, to which I would add, if she is going to be alone and unsupervised, that's OK, but make sure she is not always visibly in the same spot at the same time. Change it up, frequently.

Yes, it actually is. It doesn't matter if it's a speakerphone, it's distracted driving, and it's dangerous. There's no lol about it. Don't do it.
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https://www.nsc.org/road-safety/tools-resources/infographics/hands-free-is-not-risk-free

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for a ride outside her school by herself for 30 minutes (after school has let out)?

She attends a public school that’s not in our area so we don’t have bus service (long story). I have to leave work to pick her up by 3pm, which will work every day but Wednesdays, when I won’t be able to get to her until 3:30pm. This would mean DD (who turns 13 in November) would wait for me in front of the school for 30 minutes after school buses have left. There’s a bench and it’s under cover in case there’s rain or inclement weather.

She would sit and read or look at her phone until I pick her up. I would probably call her from my car and keep her on speaker phone while I drive to her.
I’d have to come up with a plan B when it’s freezing outside.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

That's the dangerous part. Please do not do that. Put the phone away when you drive.

For her to sit in front of the school for 30 minutes, that's fine. For you to drive distracted for 30 minutes because you're worried that something might happen to her while she's sitting in front of the school, is not fine. You'd be endangering everybody else on the road, including other children who are walking home from school.

?????? It is 2019. You don’t have to have your phone out to take a call in the car, unless you have a very old car.

That's the part you're focusing on - whether or not your car has bluetooth?

If OP has OP's daugher on speaker phone while OP is driving, this might make OP feel better (although really, if anything bad did happen, what would OP on speaker phone be able to do about it anyway?), but it's a danger to everybody else. OP will run somebody over and then offer "I didn't see them! They came out of nowhere!" as a defense. The only thing you should be focusing on, when you're driving, is: driving.

[Anonymous]

Kids get nervous. Half an hour might be a very long time for a kid. Don't know, I probably wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol no it is not dangerous to speak and drive at the same time.

I am pretty permissive but I actually do not love this plan, with 7th grade DD sitting outside at the same time every week. One time -- no problem. From time-to-time -- no problem. Taking the bus doesn't bother me at all. But essentially to be visibly and routinely alone in public, on a predictable schedule = target for bad guys. I would make plans for her to be inside somewhere. Plenty of ideas upthread, to which I would add, if she is going to be alone and unsupervised, that's OK, but make sure she is not always visibly in the same spot at the same time. Change it up, frequently.

Would you be similarly uncomfortable with the idea of OP's daughter walking home from school on the same route at the same time every day?

[Anonymous]

Are there no after school activities or clubs? Our MS has something every day of the week: from intramurals, to homework club, to things like Eco club. Make her go to homework club fro 30 min.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids get nervous. Half an hour might be a very long time for a kid. Don't know, I probably wouldn't do it.

Kids get nervous because they are never allowed to be alone and therefore never develop confidence in their own competency. Such a disservice, in my opinion.

I think it's fine and would not have her on speaker phone the whole time.

[Anonymous]

She can't go home with a friend that day?