People still do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

I could have guessed you were slim. I was overweight for years after having my kids, and no one ever suspected or asked if I was pregnant. They just thought I was fat (which I was). It is my slim friends where any type of tummy pooch shows (be it from food, miscarriage, fertility treatments, etc.) who are asked if they are pregnant. It's awful, and I'm sorry this happened to you, and even more sorry your child was involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

I could have guessed you were slim. I was overweight for years after having my kids, and no one ever suspected or asked if I was pregnant. They just thought I was fat (which I was). It is my slim friends where any type of tummy pooch shows (be it from food, miscarriage, fertility treatments, etc.) who are asked if they are pregnant. It's awful, and I'm sorry this happened to you, and even more sorry your child was involved.

Thank you. And this shouldn't be happening to anyone--regardless of what their BMI is (I apologize if that's how it came across).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A woman went up to my DD and said—oh you are going to have a baby brother or sister soon!” I told her no and I recently miscarried. Now DD is crying because she thought there was going to be a baby. People. Bite.yoyr. Tongue

People feel free to do this because so many of you lay out your private lives for all the world to see. Stop telling Facebook etc., everything about your lives. Not to mention telling people in your office about your problems with infertility because, frankly, the rest of us don't give a damn.

Then you are welcome to scroll past the posts or decline to join a conversation. People don't have to censor their lives because you are cranky.

And, other people don't have to censor their lives because of your ludicrous sensitivity over whether you're pregnant or just a fat slob.

Ohh the irony of someone LITERALLY telling people to censor their lives because people "don't give a damn" who is now complaining about being censored. You own a red baseball hat, don't you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

Sorry you miscarried (been there), hugs to you on that, but really? The fact that you just disclosed your BMI in this thread reduces the empathy factor. It makes you seem REALLY insecure and self-involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

OP here---I agree that it was inappropriate to engage my child regarding a prospective little sibling, only to set her up to be disappointed later.

As far as those who think I'm being too sensitive, I can say that I am happy that I am raising a child who will have to the tools to be compassionate.

To those of you who offered support, I deeply appreciate it.

To the OP: I don't think you were being too sensitive. It hurt, we all get it. But the people who get on here and completely demonize the woman, who probably made a stupid mistake, but did not mean harm, need to step back.

There needs to be compassion all around. Nobody is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

It's not a rush to defend someone, the PP was asking for clarification.

Frankly, it's exhausting trying to avoid offending people these days. I keep to the weather with strangers or just smile and say nothing. Everyone has huge sticks up their butts these days, but we are all supposed to intuit the size, color, and exact history of those damn sticks so that we don't possibly offend. Exhausting.

A.M.E.N TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you find it so difficult to talk without offending people, there's an easy fix to that. Don't talk. It's not hard.

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

It's not a rush to defend someone, the PP was asking for clarification.

Frankly, it's exhausting trying to avoid offending people these days. I keep to the weather with strangers or just smile and say nothing. Everyone has huge sticks up their butts these days, but we are all supposed to intuit the size, color, and exact history of those damn sticks so that we don't possibly offend. Exhausting.

A.M.E.N TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you find it so difficult to talk without offending people, there's an easy fix to that. Don't talk. It's not hard.

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

NP. Wah wah wah, so she is EXHAUSTED by all the work it takes to not offend people so she sticks to the weather. PP's suggestion that she just say nothing is still appropriate.

I talk all the time and manage not to offend anyone. I don't find it difficult at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

It's not a rush to defend someone, the PP was asking for clarification.

Frankly, it's exhausting trying to avoid offending people these days. I keep to the weather with strangers or just smile and say nothing. Everyone has huge sticks up their butts these days, but we are all supposed to intuit the size, color, and exact history of those damn sticks so that we don't possibly offend. Exhausting.

A.M.E.N TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So true! Sometimes I think people are just looking for something to be offended about. You got to note people’s intent, and then just shrug it off sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

OP here---I agree that it was inappropriate to engage my child regarding a prospective little sibling, only to set her up to be disappointed later.

As far as those who think I'm being too sensitive, I can say that I am happy that I am raising a child who will have to the tools to be compassionate.

To those of you who offered support, I deeply appreciate it.

To the OP: I don't think you were being too sensitive. It hurt, we all get it. But the people who get on here and completely demonize the woman, who probably made a stupid mistake, but did not mean harm, need to step back.

There needs to be compassion all around. Nobody is perfect.

There was only room for one person to get hurt here and that was the op. This is a false equivalence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

Sorry you miscarried (been there), hugs to you on that, but really? The fact that you just disclosed your BMI in this thread reduces the empathy factor. It makes you seem REALLY insecure and self-involved.

I apologized for that (scroll up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

YOu seem to be offended by this thread. If you were so zen you wouldn't have bothered to write. WTF is wrong with you? A woman lost a baby and you are being an a$$

It's not a rush to defend someone, the PP was asking for clarification.

Frankly, it's exhausting trying to avoid offending people these days. I keep to the weather with strangers or just smile and say nothing. Everyone has huge sticks up their butts these days, but we are all supposed to intuit the size, color, and exact history of those damn sticks so that we don't possibly offend. Exhausting.

A.M.E.N TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So true! Sometimes I think people are just looking for something to be offended about. You got to note people’s intent, and then just shrug it off sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Until there’s a head coming out of a vagina there is nothing to say. And even then you can wait until you’re told.

Period.
It’s just not your place.
It’s not appropriate.

I had a former principal of mine ask how far along I was after trying for months to get pregnant and failing. I was mortified.

[Anonymous]

It's unrealistic to expect that every stranger is going to think deeply about such things. People see a big belly, and make assumptions. They're not monsters, the statistics are in their favor, actually.

I'm sorry you were hurt, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

Sorry you miscarried (been there), hugs to you on that, but really? The fact that you just disclosed your BMI in this thread reduces the empathy factor. It makes you seem REALLY insecure and self-involved.

I apologized for that (scroll up).

Saw that after you posted. Sorry, OP. I can imagine it's hard not to get your hackles up when you feel like people are attacking you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

It's not a rush to defend someone, the PP was asking for clarification.

Frankly, it's exhausting trying to avoid offending people these days. I keep to the weather with strangers or just smile and say nothing. Everyone has huge sticks up their butts these days, but we are all supposed to intuit the size, color, and exact history of those damn sticks so that we don't possibly offend. Exhausting.

A.M.E.N TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you find it so difficult to talk without offending people, there's an easy fix to that. Don't talk. It's not hard.

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

NP. Wah wah wah, so she is EXHAUSTED by all the work it takes to not offend people so she sticks to the weather. PP's suggestion that she just say nothing is still appropriate.

I talk all the time and manage not to offend anyone. I don't find it difficult at all.

Ha! You might be surprised what people actually think of you. Based on your post, I'm thinking it's not so great. Guessing you offend on the regular.