People still do this?

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh. I also had someone ask two weeks after I miscarried. So awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To her defense, the woman didn't know you miscarried, right? I assume she thought the pregnancy was going well especially since you never said otherwise?

Trying to figure out the context.

The woman didn't intentionally say it out of spite or purposely upset your child. It was just casual small talk.

Also trying to figure out context. OP, was this someone you knew who knew that you were pregnant and didn’t realize your DD didn’t know? Or was this a stranger who just assumed you were pregnant based on your appearance? The first is a faux pas but I think forgivable. The second just defies words?

Yes but strangers should stop commenting on women’s bodies. It’s ridiculous and what are you hoping to accomplish?

I am sorry OP. People are dumb.

Exactly. I never understood the rush to defend the person who is doing what they shouldn’t be. Maybe those posters see themselves

At the time of the comment, op never included any context or that this person was a stranger.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

Please stop commenting on people's bodies and especially if you don't know them at all.

[Anonymous]

It is extremely rude. Even if a woman is clearly in her third trimester, I wait until she brings it up or will say “how are you feeling?” To let her get into it. Never assume.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my mom when she miscarried before she had me- someone loudly asked her how her pregnancy was going in front of my sister, and my mom had to tell her that it well, wasn't "going."

Of course nobody means any harm when this happens, but it still hurts- even if it's an honest mistake. Sending hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had just had a failed IVF and a coworker I was not at all close to laid her hands on my stomach and said "There's a baby in there isn't there?" with a knowing look. I said "No, no there's not." She persisted, "Are you sure?" I had to reply while removing her hands from my person "very very sure." Then I went into my office and cried.

Jesus C

Oh wait - PP again. I forgot - I then went and taught a class to a bunch of 8th graders and THEN went into my office and cried.

You seriously should report this person to your boss.

[Anonymous]

I got this when I was bloated from IVF. I told the coworker it was just bloat and fat and she was mortified. Serves her right. It is not hard just to not bring it up until the person says something. If you think it is, you need to work on your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got this when I was bloated from IVF. I told the coworker it was just bloat and fat and she was mortified. Serves her right. It is not hard just to not bring it up until the person says something. If you think it is, you need to work on your boundaries.

You need to work on you super sensitivity! If you're fat woman, and wearing loose clothing, chances are good someone is going to think you're pregnant. Take some pride in how you look!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Context is that it was a stranger. I had to told anyone. The point is stop saying things that are potentially hurtful because you never know what’s going on. I appreciate those who’ve been in this situation and your thoughts.

Impact over intent.

Intent does matter. Sorry you're too dumb or self involved to get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A woman went up to my DD and said—oh you are going to have a baby brother or sister soon!” I told her no and I recently miscarried. Now DD is crying because she thought there was going to be a baby. People. Bite.yoyr. Tongue

People feel free to do this because so many of you lay out your private lives for all the world to see. Stop telling Facebook etc., everything about your lives. Not to mention telling people in your office about your problems with infertility because, frankly, the rest of us don't give a damn.

Then you are welcome to scroll past the posts or decline to join a conversation. People don't have to censor their lives because you are cranky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got this when I was bloated from IVF. I told the coworker it was just bloat and fat and she was mortified. Serves her right. It is not hard just to not bring it up until the person says something. If you think it is, you need to work on your boundaries.

You need to work on you super sensitivity! If you're fat woman, and wearing loose clothing, chances are good someone is going to think you're pregnant. Take some pride in how you look!

You again?? Go f** yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Context is that it was a stranger. I had to told anyone. The point is stop saying things that are potentially hurtful because you never know what’s going on. I appreciate those who’ve been in this situation and your thoughts.

Impact over intent.

Intent does matter. Sorry you're too dumb or self involved to get that.

Wow, what a horrible human being.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

I'm the OP. I didn't realize that people were calling me a slob? I didn't know that I had to disclose my BMI to get empathy points either. For what it's worth, it's 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is focusing on making an assumption about the OP. The really awful thing here is that a stranger said something personal to a child. Don't talk to other people's children uninvited!

OP here---I agree that it was inappropriate to engage my child regarding a prospective little sibling, only to set her up to be disappointed later.

As far as those who think I'm being too sensitive, I can say that I am happy that I am raising a child who will have to the tools to be compassionate.

To those of you who offered support, I deeply appreciate it.