Bye. Don’t let the door hit yer where the good lord split yer spanx. |
I was miserable every time I wore them--like my main memory of the events was how uncomfortable I was and how hard it was to get into/out of them to pee. |
If you could go commando in a formfitting dress/gown, then you probably either 1) don't need spanx 2) don't have a good idea of what is flattering 3) don't give a crap about showing off lumps and bumps. |
| My DH was using a unisex bathroom at an event and overheard this whole conversation between two ladies about how they loved/hated spanx. He still quotes them "Oh, god, itching allll over when they finally come off is better than sex!" "I can't have sex after I've been wearing them- they make me stink!" etc etc. One of them was walking the other through wiping with the "make a snowball, then facewash your pu$$y with it!" He was gagging/hid as they left and then he left and came up to me, back outside, hugging me and said "I'm traumatized! Thank you for not wearing Spanx!" and I was like "wtf happened to YOU???" |
No, they make them so girls can pee standing up. My son's friends who used to go to Coachella said it was disgusting because girls were so into being able to take a whiz like men they were doing it all over the place, not looking for a tree. |
WTF? Impossible to pee standing up with these. Plus, hot young things at Coachella are wearing crop tops/bikinis/short shorts, etc. not nude colored middle aged woman shapewear that goes from knee to underboob. This is fake news. |
Concur. There are no Spanx at Coachella whatsoever. |
Agree. Maybe buy clothes that fit? |
PP is probably talking about the female urinal thing. |
Maybe someone had Ironic Spanx. Listen if you're single and mingling in spanx and they become...inconvenient...just take them off! This happened to me in college and my date later that night was like "wow, I can't believe you went commando to a formal" like it was some risque thing but really my spanx were just tucked carefully into a Miller Light box in the trash pile I passed on the way back to his room from the bathroom. I REGRET NOTHING. Actually I regret thinking I needed spanx in college, would like that body back please, but mostly I REGRET NOTHING. |
| spanx owner, and, so ... i never thought it was a pee hole -- i thought it was for cooch air ventilation. like a small open window in an otherwise sweaty garment. im serious. |
Valid. |
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Wearing spanx isn't about wearing clothes that are too clingy or a size too small. It's basically doing what a bra does for women with small breasts: keeping things properly positioned and minimizing bounce. True girdles are analogous to an underwire bra for a woman with 34G breasts. Spanx are like the wire-free lounging bras.
Most women would look so much better if they wore the proper foundations under their clothing. They can take the place of a slip, which very few women bother with anymore. Your clothing rests along your body better if there is something between the fabric and your skin. I wish more people could see their butts from behind when they go out of the house all free-form in a dress or skirt. I'm sure that people would make different fashion choices as a result. And wearing them doesn't mean you're fat. Only a drag queen with a male butt wouldn't benefit from them. It just means you have a woman's body with normal fat deposits in the right places. They sell them in XS for a reason. |
This sounds like my actual nightmare. I have a hair trigger bladder and the idea of being stuck with this chastity belt I can't get off in time to not pee all over myself - omg. It would make me feel anxious all night. Do they all come with Xanax I hope?! |