3rd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is great - we should do a poll to resolve this issue! Everyone vote! (You think I am kidding, but I am not - what better way than to see if there is a majority result)

A - If they went for it they were later frustrated by the hassle of trying to work a household of older kids who can do more and want to do more with the schedule of a baby. People are pulled too thin and there’s spousal resentment that the previously smooth life was disrupted by a third baby.

B- they had the third baby and everyone loves third baby and they can’t imagine life without third baby and nobody minds one parent doing fun stuff with older ones while other parent sits home with third baby. Those are your options.

C - You don’t end up having a third baby and and full of regret (possibly sowing resentment in your marriage) and you wistfully look at families with 3+ kids

D - You don’t end up having a third and as life goes on you are so freaking grateful you only have two children to deal with on top of every other life stressor

D

[Anonymous]

D

[Anonymous]

Combo A and B here. Nobody is resentful, and we all love the third, but we’re also quite aware that it would have been a lot easier with just two, especially in pandemic times with two busy jobs.

Sometimes I’m a bit jealous when I see my friends with two age out of the baby/toddler phase. But oh well, we’ll get through it and the girls will hopefully continue to be good friends to each other over time.

[Anonymous]

My two are elementary aged, so we're far enough removed from the baby and toddler years that partial amnesia has set in and sometimes I wish we could have a third. But I know it's a trap! So mostly team D but with a little bit of wistfulness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is great - we should do a poll to resolve this issue! Everyone vote! (You think I am kidding, but I am not - what better way than to see if there is a majority result)

A - If they went for it they were later frustrated by the hassle of trying to work a household of older kids who can do more and want to do more with the schedule of a baby. People are pulled too thin and there’s spousal resentment that the previously smooth life was disrupted by a third baby.

B- they had the third baby and everyone loves third baby and they can’t imagine life without third baby and nobody minds one parent doing fun stuff with older ones while other parent sits home with third baby. Those are your options.

C - You don’t end up having a third baby and and full of regret (possibly sowing resentment in your marriage) and you wistfully look at families with 3+ kids

D - You don’t end up having a third and as life goes on you are so freaking grateful you only have two children to deal with on top of every other life stressor

D

I’m a C at certain times of the month (like right now...so longing for another baby right now) but mostly a D. My kids are 5 and 3 so I think I have another year or maybe two before a third would be a large age gap. So I’m still hoping my spouse will change his mind but I seriously doubt he will.

[Anonymous]

Our are close together (less than 5 years between oldest and youngest). I am between A and B depending on the day, ha. I could never imagine having a larger spread. That sounds so awful and unfair to the older ones.

[Anonymous]

Which option is B plus we like having a big family decided to go for #4?

That’s what we are. #3 seemed scary to me because I was from a family of 2 kids, so going outside that norm and a world designed for families of 4 was a bit daunting. Now that we’re past it, I say pile on the kids!

[Anonymous]

Currently a C.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’m a C at certain times of the month (like right now...so longing for another baby right now) but mostly a D. My kids are 5 and 3 so I think I have another year or maybe two before a third would be a large age gap. So I’m still hoping my spouse will change his mind but I seriously doubt he will.

Thank you for summarizing my feelings precisely. Right there with you sister. A friend told me to think of it as stages of grief and that it is it’s own type or loss in terms of going easy on ourselves for feeing the way we do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team D allllllll the way

+1. Also, the money goes a lot farther. (Activities, travel, college, weddings are not a concern for us. But it would be tougher with 3-4 kids. If you loaded, go for it!)