Nannies and sick leave

[Anonymous]

So ... why'd you (or other PP) make a point of citing the ADA, if it is a red herring and doesn't apply?

Was that because you (or PP) doesn't understand basic employment law and are just throwing things out randomly to see if they stick? Because that's what it looks like.

As for me, I've never hired a nanny. I did own a small business and granted sick leave over and above what was required by law, and then extended it further when someone was in a real pickle. It's the right thing to do.

It's not the right thing to do to give legal advice when you don't know the really basic, basic points of what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So ... why'd you (or other PP) make a point of citing the ADA, if it is a red herring and doesn't apply?

Was that because you (or PP) doesn't understand basic employment law and are just throwing things out randomly to see if they stick? Because that's what it looks like.

As for me, I've never hired a nanny. I did own a small business and granted sick leave over and above what was required by law, and then extended it further when someone was in a real pickle. It's the right thing to do.

It's not the right thing to do to give legal advice when you don't know the really basic, basic points of what you are saying.

Cool - now tell me if DC anti-discrimination law applies to nannies? You're evading the salient point.

[Anonymous]

Well, the point you want to focus on. (Not the one you/PP were wrong on.)

If you want to talk about that, have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, the point you want to focus on. (Not the one you/PP were wrong on.)

If you want to talk about that, have at it.

the point is: anti-discrimination laws apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

That’s good, you should absolutely not be someone’s employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

Goodness you sound like a nightmare employer.

+1 We're relocating and going to put up an ad for our beloved nanny of many years . My husband looked at the ad draft I had, and suggested we ad some language in about her rarely ever taking a sick day, and I didn't want to do that, because I think it's a bad message to send in the hiring process. She's healthy now, but who knows what life will bring. If you hire a nanny, you need to accept that they are human and will get sick (and that you don't want a sick nanny taking care of your healthy kid anyway.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP it sounds like you were in the position to offer lots of flexibility on arrival time and attendance. This is great for you and your nanny but you should be honest in providing a reference. If you lie, there is a good chance that things will not end well for your nanny and the new employer. Your nanny could very well end up fired then what will you do? Lie about her start dates to cover the gap in employment.

I think you have an idea that your nanny may have taken advantage of your generous leave benefits or you wouldn't be posting here. In over 25 years of employment, I have never taken two weeks of sick leave in a year. Honestly, I can't think of any employee who didn't develop something serious (cancer) that ever took this much and I managed multiple groups. Two weeks let alone more than two weeks of sick time without serious underlying healthy problems is a sign of a poor immune system or enjoying quite a few rest and relaxation days calling in sick. Being late 5% of the time is pretty frequent for an hourly job. OP -your job may not mind if you are late or don't have hard standard hours but many people have meetings or appointments and can't be late once or twice a month.

Your nanny either needs to find another very flexible position or she never really needed to late 5% of the time and take more than 2 weeks sick leave in a year.


OP here. These are not generous leave benefits. I get 2 weeks sick leave a year (I actually have much more because my employer rolls it over) so I give my nanny 2 weeks a year. And I give her 2 weeks annual leave - which seems absurdly short, but this is America.

And don't presume to judge that my nanny is taking advantage. I said previously that her honesty was one of the most important qualities for me. When she came back after having flu this February, she had lost about 4 kg

OP are you looking for advice or are you looking for people to fawn over you for offering so much leave? Your nanny will have a very hard time finding a position that provides 2 weeks vacation plus 2 weeks sick leave and extra days if she needs it. You are not in Europe and I assume that your nanny will be searching for a new position in the US. Either your nanny is savvy enough to know that she could take advantage of all the leave you gave her and will adjust in her new job or she will end up getting fired.

In your references you should state that you offered generous sick leave and paid vacation which your nanny used. That's it. Your nanny didn't abuse it because you clearly didn't care about attendance so it isn't a black mark against her. This will inform the person seeking the reference that she be very clear with the nanny on what their job is offering. Most people searching for a nanny have used up much of their leave on maternity and paternity leave. It is far more common to see 2 weeks offered for vacation -1 week at the nanny's choosing and 1 week at the employer's choosing and then 2 sick days. There are many positions that only offer 1 week of vacation.

In most office senior level employees never even take most of their leave. This is why some companies are losing to unlimited leave but all the employees know that if you actually call in sick for a total of 2 weeks that you will be quickly laid off or fired for non-performance. Work is much more serious and intense in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP it sounds like you were in the position to offer lots of flexibility on arrival time and attendance. This is great for you and your nanny but you should be honest in providing a reference. If you lie, there is a good chance that things will not end well for your nanny and the new employer. Your nanny could very well end up fired then what will you do? Lie about her start dates to cover the gap in employment.

I think you have an idea that your nanny may have taken advantage of your generous leave benefits or you wouldn't be posting here. In over 25 years of employment, I have never taken two weeks of sick leave in a year. Honestly, I can't think of any employee who didn't develop something serious (cancer) that ever took this much and I managed multiple groups. Two weeks let alone more than two weeks of sick time without serious underlying healthy problems is a sign of a poor immune system or enjoying quite a few rest and relaxation days calling in sick. Being late 5% of the time is pretty frequent for an hourly job. OP -your job may not mind if you are late or don't have hard standard hours but many people have meetings or appointments and can't be late once or twice a month.

Your nanny either needs to find another very flexible position or she never really needed to late 5% of the time and take more than 2 weeks sick leave in a year.


OP here. These are not generous leave benefits. I get 2 weeks sick leave a year (I actually have much more because my employer rolls it over) so I give my nanny 2 weeks a year. And I give her 2 weeks annual leave - which seems absurdly short, but this is America.

And don't presume to judge that my nanny is taking advantage. I said previously that her honesty was one of the most important qualities for me. When she came back after having flu this February, she had lost about 4 kg

OP are you looking for advice or are you looking for people to fawn over you for offering so much leave? Your nanny will have a very hard time finding a position that provides 2 weeks vacation plus 2 weeks sick leave and extra days if she needs it. You are not in Europe and I assume that your nanny will be searching for a new position in the US. Either your nanny is savvy enough to know that she could take advantage of all the leave you gave her and will adjust in her new job or she will end up getting fired.

In your references you should state that you offered generous sick leave and paid vacation which your nanny used. That's it. Your nanny didn't abuse it because you clearly didn't care about attendance so it isn't a black mark against her. This will inform the person seeking the reference that she be very clear with the nanny on what their job is offering. Most people searching for a nanny have used up much of their leave on maternity and paternity leave. It is far more common to see 2 weeks offered for vacation -1 week at the nanny's choosing and 1 week at the employer's choosing and then 2 sick days. There are many positions that only offer 1 week of vacation.

In most office senior level employees never even take most of their leave. This is why some companies are losing to unlimited leave but all the employees know that if you actually call in sick for a total of 2 weeks that you will be quickly laid off or fired for non-performance. Work is much more serious and intense in the US.

I don't think that's true, and you don't need to beat up on people who offer more generous benefits than you do. We offered 2 weeks of vacation to start, then upped to 3 weeks after a year. We didn't put a # on number of sick days, and our nanny never abused it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

Goodness you sound like a nightmare employer.

+1 We're relocating and going to put up an ad for our beloved nanny of many years . My husband looked at the ad draft I had, and suggested we ad some language in about her rarely ever taking a sick day, and I didn't want to do that, because I think it's a bad message to send in the hiring process. She's healthy now, but who knows what life will bring. If you hire a nanny, you need to accept that they are human and will get sick (and that you don't want a sick nanny taking care of your healthy kid anyway.)

+1 million. There but for the grace of god go we all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many sick days a nanny takes and number of times late are definitely things I ask during the reference check. Reliability is important to us.

So this means you are absolutely under no circumstance ever late coming home? Your child and you never ever get sick?

I’ve been late due to horrible accidents on 270. My families have been late coming home due to horrible traffic. I’m reliable and flexible bc well, life happens. I have never once held it over my families head when they let me know they were going to be late bc I get that life happens. In turn they have never reprimanded me bc, they want my flexibility to roll over to them. I don’t call out, I’ll work sick bc I rarely get sick enough other than the common cold (only took off once bc one of the kids brought home norovirus from school and everyone got sick). I’ve always worked for awesome families and didn’t realize how truly lucky I was until reading DCUM. Awesome families really are unicorns.

DCUM is not representative of the rest of our society, pp. Awesome nannies or families are not unicorns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry I don't think I was clear. I found it deeply weird that, when I was following up on references, some parent employers chose to point out that their nanny had never taken a sick day and had never once been late!

Now I'm not American. I'm European. So I was wondering whether it was a cultural thing that I needed to be mindful of when I'm providing her with her a reference in the future.

To me, being late is forgivable. She has been 15 minutes late once this whole year, and she works for us full-time. I have been late to get home and relieve her twice in the same period (again, no more than 15 minutes late).

The most important qualities for me in a nanny are kindness and honesty. My daughter loves her and I trust her. I would also describe her as very reliable, but not this rigid 100% timeliness. She's human, not a fricking robot as some on the parents on this forum seem to expect!

Thanks for the guidance though - there's no reason to quote statistics when I'm providing references in the future! I will just describe her as "highly reliable"!

You sound great OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP it sounds like you were in the position to offer lots of flexibility on arrival time and attendance. This is great for you and your nanny but you should be honest in providing a reference. If you lie, there is a good chance that things will not end well for your nanny and the new employer. Your nanny could very well end up fired then what will you do? Lie about her start dates to cover the gap in employment.

I think you have an idea that your nanny may have taken advantage of your generous leave benefits or you wouldn't be posting here. In over 25 years of employment, I have never taken two weeks of sick leave in a year. Honestly, I can't think of any employee who didn't develop something serious (cancer) that ever took this much and I managed multiple groups. Two weeks let alone more than two weeks of sick time without serious underlying healthy problems is a sign of a poor immune system or enjoying quite a few rest and relaxation days calling in sick. Being late 5% of the time is pretty frequent for an hourly job. OP -your job may not mind if you are late or don't have hard standard hours but many people have meetings or appointments and can't be late once or twice a month.

Your nanny either needs to find another very flexible position or she never really needed to late 5% of the time and take more than 2 weeks sick leave in a year.


OP here. These are not generous leave benefits. I get 2 weeks sick leave a year (I actually have much more because my employer rolls it over) so I give my nanny 2 weeks a year. And I give her 2 weeks annual leave - which seems absurdly short, but this is America.

And don't presume to judge that my nanny is taking advantage. I said previously that her honesty was one of the most important qualities for me. When she came back after having flu this February, she had lost about 4 kg

OP are you looking for advice or are you looking for people to fawn over you for offering so much leave? Your nanny will have a very hard time finding a position that provides 2 weeks vacation plus 2 weeks sick leave and extra days if she needs it. You are not in Europe and I assume that your nanny will be searching for a new position in the US. Either your nanny is savvy enough to know that she could take advantage of all the leave you gave her and will adjust in her new job or she will end up getting fired.

In your references you should state that you offered generous sick leave and paid vacation which your nanny used. That's it. Your nanny didn't abuse it because you clearly didn't care about attendance so it isn't a black mark against her. This will inform the person seeking the reference that she be very clear with the nanny on what their job is offering. Most people searching for a nanny have used up much of their leave on maternity and paternity leave. It is far more common to see 2 weeks offered for vacation -1 week at the nanny's choosing and 1 week at the employer's choosing and then 2 sick days. There are many positions that only offer 1 week of vacation.

In most office senior level employees never even take most of their leave. This is why some companies are losing to unlimited leave but all the employees know that if you actually call in sick for a total of 2 weeks that you will be quickly laid off or fired for non-performance. Work is much more serious and intense in the US.

I don't think that's true, and you don't need to beat up on people who offer more generous benefits than you do. We offered 2 weeks of vacation to start, then upped to 3 weeks after a year. We didn't put a # on number of sick days, and our nanny never abused it.

Same here. 2 weeks vacation, federal holidays, and 2 weeks sick/personal leave.