what do your kids call adults (Ms First Name, Ms Last Name, etc.)

[Anonymous]

My kids are young (preschool) and I've noticed all my kids friends call me or other adults by first name only. I don't like this at all.

I teach my kids to call adults either Brayden's Mom or Mrs. Lastname. I do not think it's respectful to call adults by first name only.

I would prefer to be called Matthew's Mom or Mrs. Lastname, but definitely not first name only.

[Anonymous]

I hate to be called Mrs/Ms So-and-So. Just call me by my first name.

[Anonymous]

At younger ages, they called me "Larlo's mom" -- kids at school/daycare. They didn't know my first or last name...

[Anonymous]

When they were little most called me Ms. First Name. As they started elementary it split half and half. Some started calling me Mrs. Last Name and others just by my first name. I’d prefer they call me by my first name only but they can do whatever makes them comfortable. Growing up we always called our parents’ friends by their first names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just by the first name.

That is kind of rude, especially if not invited to be called that way. If invited then fine by me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be called Mrs/Ms So-and-So. Just call me by my first name.

Yes, if you are okay with it then fine but this is not a rule and if your kids call people by first name just because you are fine with it
that is also not okay.

[Anonymous]

For our family it varies by age of person being addressed.. We live in a diverse neighborhood and my kids address their elderly neighbors as Mr/Ms First Name (as do I). Friend’s parents are just first name. I think it’s generational (and possibly cultural as well). FWIW we’re a Caucasian family with a diverse friend group and mostly African American elderly neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, but I grew up here and you’re not going to get a solid consensus in DC. Between its geography within spitting distance of the Mason-Dixon and the number of transplants here from every corner of the earth, there’s no one standard. Ms. LastName is fine as a default, but of course— especially in this area!— the LastName is not always immediately obvious. Lots of POC (plus southern white people, of which there are a decent number) will default to Ms. FirstName. And some people (mostly white) will insist on just FirstName. Think of it this way— it’s excellent practice at addressing people the way they want to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I grew up here and you’re not going to get a solid consensus in DC. Between its geography within spitting distance of the Mason-Dixon and the number of transplants here from every corner of the earth, there’s no one standard. Ms. LastName is fine as a default, but of course— especially in this area!— the LastName is not always immediately obvious. Lots of POC (plus southern white people, of which there are a decent number) will default to Ms. FirstName. And some people (mostly white) will insist on just FirstName. Think of it this way— it’s excellent practice at addressing people the way they want to be addressed.

Oh, and I forgot how common it is to use Auntie FirstName— of course, in most cultures, this is only for close friends, but sometimes applied to parents of good friends, so you never know.

[Anonymous]

First name only unless they introduce themselves otherwise

Preschool teachers = first name
Public school teachers = ms. last name

Frequently they just "Bobby's Mom".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I grew up here and you’re not going to get a solid consensus in DC. Between its geography within spitting distance of the Mason-Dixon and the number of transplants here from every corner of the earth, there’s no one standard. Ms. LastName is fine as a default, but of course— especially in this area!— the LastName is not always immediately obvious. Lots of POC (plus southern white people, of which there are a decent number) will default to Ms. FirstName. And some people (mostly white) will insist on just FirstName. Think of it this way— it’s excellent practice at addressing people the way they want to be addressed.

That's a good strategy. I tell my child to address people the way that they introduce themselves. I always introduce myself with just my first name. I go by Ms. First name at work but I really don't like it in my personal life. I did not grow up referring to adults as Mr./Ms./Mrs. outside of teachers (Mountain West)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again - could you please note the ages of your kids? I feel like it's one thing for a 3-year old to say "Ms. Becky" but another for a 12 year old.

Also, isn't this confusing in a day in which many women don't have the same last name as their kids? I don't and my last name is really, really complicated. Do I just get called "Ms. J"?

A 12 year old is not the equal of an adult and still calls an adult Ms , Mrs, miss, and Mr. Good lord, I am 55 and still call older people Mrs, Miss, or Mr. It is a sign of respect!

[Anonymous]

THIS IS CRAZY.

Same question was asked a couple months ago and it was unanimous: first name only. So, I switched to first name because I felt so old instructing my kids to say “Mrs Smith” when everyone else was doing “Susan”.

I hate that my 4 year old calls an adult by her first name. But it seemed like the days of Mrs Lastname were gone.

Now you’re all saying Mrs Lastname is what you want...?

[Anonymous]

PP here and can you add YOUR age and preference?

I’m 36 and grew up calling adults Mrs Lastname. I would prefer Mrs Lastname myself, and would prefer my kids to do Mrs Lastname. But no one does that!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THIS IS CRAZY.

Same question was asked a couple months ago and it was unanimous: first name only. So, I switched to first name because I felt so old instructing my kids to say “Mrs Smith” when everyone else was doing “Susan”.

I hate that my 4 year old calls an adult by her first name. But it seemed like the days of Mrs Lastname were gone.

Now you’re all saying Mrs Lastname is what you want...?

I've been posting on DCUM for about a decade, and this topic comes up a lot. When ever I see it, I always chime in with my belief that children should call adults Mr. or Ms. Lastname, unless the adult specifically asked to call something different (Ms. Sally or just "Sally.")

If the thread you saw a few months ago was unanimous that children should call adults by their first name, I guess I missed it; I definitely would have posted my dissent.