Sorority Recruitment Coach/Consultant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll give you advice for free.

1) Letters of recommendation. Google the school your daughter is attending to figure out how many letters per house your daughter needs. Does she have any legacies (sister, you, grandmother, aunt, stepmother, stepsister)?

2) Have your daughter work your/her network to secure the letters she needs. She'll need a "rec packet." This will include her resume, a portrait, a copy of her transcript, a copy of her SAT/ACT scores, and a preadressed and postage-paid, large enough envelope for the person writing the rec to mail all the materials to the sorority. If the rec is being submitted electronically, the person might still need a packet. It depends. You can put everything into a pretty folder with a nice label with your daughter's name.

3) Lots of Panhels have Pinterest pages for recruitment. Use these to brainstorm outfits. Go onto the sororities' Instagrams to see what the actives wear. Make sure your daughter understands and follows the dress code for each round, but also make sure she loves the clothes and jewelry she's wearing. Get everything tailored. Have plans for inclement weather.

4) It's important that your daughter goes in with an open mind. She's going to get rejected from at least one sorority she loves and she's going to gradually fall in love with a house she initially hates. She shouldn't listen to or participate in tent talk during rush.

5) There's nothing about rush small talk that can't be practiced at home. She will have the same conversation 100 times in a row, and she just has to look active and engaged and positive. No controversial subjects. Practice how to respond if a situation makes her uncomfortable.

6) I think it's unwise for her to drastically alter her appearance. She has pink hair? Don't dye it natural brown. She likes to wear rings on four fingers? Don't knock it down to two.

I realize the confines of the event encourage artifice, but as much as possible, she needs to be herself.

Tiers exist, but they're hardly the end all and be all of the Greek experience. Better to be oneself at a "lower" house than maintaining an exhausting facade at an "upper" house. Also, the upperclassmen care far less than the underclassmen. And the alumni networking equalizes everything.

Great post with a lot of helpful information.

[Anonymous]

I think people who obsess about this stuff are pathetic

[Anonymous]

An old article about sorority life (with examples from UMD)

https://brobible.com/college/article/thoughts-musings-university-of-maryland-greek-life/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

The truth is, it's both. You should be investing in yourself. Of course. That goes without saying. But it's also one of the easiest times to find a future husband. That's just reality. You may not like it but ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I didn't even know that you could hire a "consultant" to help your child get into a sorority. What is even more shocking is that people would pay for this service. I wish they would just get rid of sororities/fraternities.

Who needs to be judged by a bunch of strangers on whether you are good enough to join their ranks based on how you look, what you wear, etc. DD rushed and got into a sorority at her school. We had to spend a ridiculous amount of money so she had the "correct" outfits as prescribed by the sorority and then had to deal with the angst of the judging process. By the time she got in and went to a few events, she decided that being a follower instead of a leader was not for her. She's not a conformist and has no desire to be like everyone else. She was just looking for a fun social group.

If your DD wants to join a sorority, the best advice is to be herself. If that's not good enough for the sorority, than she probably doesn't need to be in their exclusive group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

It’s not an official ranking, but I understand.

PP’s stereotypes are not without merit. It’s not “all” moms and girls, but it’s very southern. Southern culture is just still really into social status and finding every way possible to make sure you know who’s better “bred”/richer/more important than the rest. I live here now. I see it all the time. OTOH, some girls just feel like it makes a big school smaller and gives them an instant social life.

Wow, that's like the very definition of the DC-area. (minus the "better bred")...

In DC, you can get into social circles with the right job and money. That won’t work for you in the south- it’s still very much about your family lineage. Some professions might get you in the biggest, most superficial circle, but that’s it. The doors are closed beyond that. Who’s your daddy? Your great-granddaddy?

[Anonymous]

I’m from the south where they say “horses are bred not people”

[Anonymous]

For those who can't get enough on this topic (pro or con) here are articles on the topic from 2017 (WaPo and Town and Country mag)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-small-business/wp/2017/09/18/sorority-rush-consulting-firms-step-in-to-fill-a-market-need/?utm_term=.7c8888ba344b
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/arts-and-culture/a12108142/sorority-rush-consultants/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the tiered house ranking is the worst part of it. Why would somebody want to sign up for a "bottom house" if they didn't have to? Why would you want that label attached to you?

It’s not an official ranking, but I understand.

PP’s stereotypes are not without merit. It’s not “all” moms and girls, but it’s very southern. Southern culture is just still really into social status and finding every way possible to make sure you know who’s better “bred”/richer/more important than the rest. I live here now. I see it all the time. OTOH, some girls just feel like it makes a big school smaller and gives them an instant social life.

Wow, that's like the very definition of the DC-area. (minus the "better bred")...

In DC, you can get into social circles with the right job and money. That won’t work for you in the south- it’s still very much about your family lineage. Some professions might get you in the biggest, most superficial circle, but that’s it. The doors are closed beyond that. Who’s your daddy? Your great-granddaddy?

Family lineage, better bread. No wonder this is the region of the country with the most racism.

[Anonymous]

I was a Pi Phi at a place where that mattered. It did not matter to me, but I guess I got "lucky" by having the right roommate who was a really nice girl and took me everywhere with her.

If your daughter is serious about getting into a certain house in the south, and you have the money, do it.

Also, for giggles, fall into a rabbit hole about The Machine in Alabama. Greek stuff in the south is a MAJOR DEAL.

[Anonymous]

I’m proud of my intelligent, free-thinking daughter who doesn’t need the superficial affirmation club that many sororities seem to be.

[Anonymous]

O-M-F-G

This falls into the category of "things I didn't know existed but helps prove the end of civilized society as we know it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:O-M-F-G

This falls into the category of "things I didn't know existed but helps prove the end of civilized society as we know it."

how do you feel about the college consultant who charges $450/hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:O-M-F-G

This falls into the category of "things I didn't know existed but helps prove the end of civilized society as we know it."

how do you feel about the college consultant who charges $450/hour?

Not the former pp, but I feel like a sucker is born every minute.