Ugh so much pressure to be well rounded

[Anonymous]

I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Because otherwise they couldn't be social. I'm sure if they had the option to run around the neighborhood or in the woods unattended they would prefer that to driving for 30 minutes and getting instructions.

What? My kids play in our neighborhood outside with their friends every single day, including weekends. That in no way dampens their desire to spend time playing their sport. PP hit the nail on the head - you just don't get it.

This is VERY neighborhood dependent. I moved from one house to another in my town, a distance of just over a mile, and it was night and day different in terms of how many kids were available to play, free range style, outside on a random weekday. Some neighborhoods are deserted of kids on weekdays, some aren't.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is why I try my best to get my kids involved in the same sports (we have 2 boys and a girl fwiw).

They're all involved in tennis and skiing. Then one also does soccer, one does fencing, and the other does a bunch of dance classes.

Op here. My kids play a lot of different sports throughout the year. They play tennis, golf and soccer. They also love to ski. Thank god they are no longer doing swim team and boys didn’t love baseball.

Why are we such a sports obsessed society?

Because no one is home for the kids to play outside anymore so they do sports to make up for that time that we all spent mucking around the neighborhood and playing kick the can and freeze tag.

My mom stayed at home and I had three siblings. I am 47. All four of us had a sport we played during the fall and spring season. And we played outside with out friends. All 4 of us played an instrument at school. Two of us were in Drama, 3 of us were in choir, 2 of us were in the marching band and symphony.

And yet we all played with kids in the neighborhood. And that was in the 1980’s. So this is not a new phenomina.

Sports are one way to teach kids how to play nicely with others, develop good social skills, learn how to win and lose, and develop some good physical habits. I play soccer and softball as an adult and I played them as a kid.

I have no idea how my Mom handled all of our activites, I know that I rode my bike or walked to them as I got older. I am sure she was overwhelmed at times like the OP sounds.

It sounds like the OPs kids have activities at school, music and art, and then sports and Scouts as the after school? I can’t imagine that it is easy with 3 kids. My kid loves his sports and his Scouts so I know why your kids do as well. Maybe look for a way to car pool?

I had a similar childhood in the 80s but the big thing that has changed is that these kid sports 1) start earlier and 2) seem to demand way more of your time. I played soccer and my siblings played softball and baseball at various times. We only ever had one practice per week and one game per week. And no sport teams expect you to play it year-round -- swim in summer, soccer in Fall, baseball/softball in Spring.

I was a well-rounded 1980s UMC child as well. I agree that the big difference is that most sports were not year round. I also think that dance and musical instrument instruction did not happen during the summer.

You nailed it. And kids are having more injuries that doctors used to never see in kids because they are playing the same sports year round. It is much better for their bodies to play one sport a season and then another sport the next season. If you read this through this article, you can see that even Hockey Canada is pushing for kids to just play hockey for the season and then play other sports in the off seasons. https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/the-temptation-and-risk-of-being-a-one-sport-year-round-athlete

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I try my best to get my kids involved in the same sports (we have 2 boys and a girl fwiw).

They're all involved in tennis and skiing. Then one also does soccer, one does fencing, and the other does a bunch of dance classes.

Op here. My kids play a lot of different sports throughout the year. They play tennis, golf and soccer. They also love to ski. Thank god they are no longer doing swim team and boys didn’t love baseball.

Why are we such a sports obsessed society?

Because people with the power to say no don’t say no.

Set some boundaries, OP. You can do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Because otherwise they couldn't be social. I'm sure if they had the option to run around the neighborhood or in the woods unattended they would prefer that to driving for 30 minutes and getting instructions.

What? My kids play in our neighborhood outside with their friends every single day, including weekends. That in no way dampens their desire to spend time playing their sport. PP hit the nail on the head - you just don't get it.

This is VERY neighborhood dependent. I moved from one house to another in my town, a distance of just over a mile, and it was night and day different in terms of how many kids were available to play, free range style, outside on a random weekday. Some neighborhoods are deserted of kids on weekdays, some aren't.

I don't disagree with you. We are fantastically lucky that we found our neighborhood. However, I was responding to the PP who said that if kids had the opportunity to play outside then they wouldn't want to play sports. I disagree with that statement. My children actually go outside and play with their friends sometimes for an hour or so before heading to a sport, and they are happy to leave to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

A little angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

And if you have 3 kids who all want to play sports and do Cub Scouts and they are all different ages so they are on different teams and in different dens?

To me it sounds like the OPs kids are interested in these two activities, plus all their school stuff, and that it is a bit much because there are three kids with two activities that don't share a time. Which would suck.

It does not sound like the kids are over scheduled or that what they want to do is too much individual just that it is overwhelming to the Mom, perhaps, hopefully, both parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

Op here. My title could be better. I was just super overwhelmed this week. Kids are advancing in cub scouts so we had to scramble for badges. It was also SOL week. I told my kids to review their test review packets, which they didn’t really do.

No one is putting this pressure on me except myself. I’m glad my kids are good at most things.

I am planning summer vacations, camps, parties, etc. not everyone is busy. We know kids who play fort nite all day. Others who play multiple sports per season. At least my kids don’t do any travel sports. Every family is different.

[Anonymous]

Just don't be that parent that humble brags about how much you HATE travel sports but your kid is just SO GOOD you have no choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

And if you have 3 kids who all want to play sports and do Cub Scouts and they are all different ages so they are on different teams and in different dens?

To me it sounds like the OPs kids are interested in these two activities, plus all their school stuff, and that it is a bit much because there are three kids with two activities that don't share a time. Which would suck.

It does not sound like the kids are over scheduled or that what they want to do is too much individual just that it is overwhelming to the Mom, perhaps, hopefully, both parents.

So don’t have three kids. I’m not trying to be an asshole but honestly we took this into account. I have two boys and they’re both super into everything. It would not have been fair to be dragging a baby along to everything and as they got older nobody could do what they wanted. It is what it is. I have friends that have three kids and they commit to teams etc. and don’t make games/events because “the three kids.” Sorry I’m not sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't take people who submit to peer pressure seriously. Where is this pressure coming from and how spineless are you that you care about it? Grow up and be a parent. Do what you and your kids wants to do.

Op here. My title could be better. I was just super overwhelmed this week. Kids are advancing in cub scouts so we had to scramble for badges. It was also SOL week. I told my kids to review their test review packets, which they didn’t really do.

No one is putting this pressure on me except myself. I’m glad my kids are good at most things.

I am planning summer vacations, camps, parties, etc. not everyone is busy. We know kids who play fort nite all day. Others who play multiple sports per season. At least my kids don’t do any travel sports. Every family is different.

Again if you can’t supervise your kids to make sure they meet their commitments then you shouldn’t have had that many kids. Or your husband needs to be more helpful. No sympathy for your own decisions.

[Anonymous]

But hers the thing - my one kid does travel soccer and has a zillion friends. I bitch and hate it she enjoys. My son doesn't do sports as he just us t into it. He does chess and tar kwan do instead. He has no friends. He does but he doesn't because all the other boys are in some sort of organized sports/scouts. So there's the desire to not do sports but you ha e to deal with a society/community that's into it. I'm a new poster and agree w/ OP!!!