Ugh so much pressure to be well rounded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

I know travel soccer starts with 7 year old kids, which is crazy. I think it is up to each family to decide to do travel teams or not. Right now, we don’t worry about that. DS is 6 and not playing a sport that starts that young. But if you choose travel for any sport you are making a year round commitment. So far DS is not showing enough interest to think that we are going to be worrying about travel in anything.

But travel sport is a choice. There is no reason to have to play travel for any sport. Some parts buy into it hook, line and sinker, just go look at the soccer forums on this site. There is nothing wrong with play receational sports. They don’t even prevent you from playing at the high school leel because some sports don’t want their kids playing for their high school if they are playing travel.

That said, the Marching Band I was in in high school was uber comeptitive. We practice for all of August, every week day for 4 hours or so. We practiced after school and competed. We won our region but it was a huge time comitmment. I gave up soccer to be in marching band. And my Jazz Band practice needed to be altered so that it was after softball practice.

I never felt overwhelmed or like I was doing too much. I enjoyed my activities and my grades were fine. (Shrugs)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Because otherwise they couldn't be social. I'm sure if they had the option to run around the neighborhood or in the woods unattended they would prefer that to driving for 30 minutes and getting instructions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I try my best to get my kids involved in the same sports (we have 2 boys and a girl fwiw).

They're all involved in tennis and skiing. Then one also does soccer, one does fencing, and the other does a bunch of dance classes.

Op here. My kids play a lot of different sports throughout the year. They play tennis, golf and soccer. They also love to ski. Thank god they are no longer doing swim team and boys didn’t love baseball.

Why are we such a sports obsessed society?

If they are doing this all year round, it sounds like you are doing too much. "Society" isn't sports obsessed, you are.

No, I am absolutely not sports obsessed. I never enjoyed nor was I good at sports. I don’t even like to watch sports on tv.

then tell them they can't do all this at once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Because otherwise they couldn't be social. I'm sure if they had the option to run around the neighborhood or in the woods unattended they would prefer that to driving for 30 minutes and getting instructions.

Sure, but that's not what's happening. We hike on weekends etc - my kids are like cubs, they need to RUN and there are so many wonderful things about sports. They're still young and we aren't going to become those 4am people but again - if your kids aren't sports kids, you dont get how motivating it is for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

It's great that they like sports but if it's making the parents miserable, you need to tell them NO. No, they can't do multiple sports per season. No, they can't do the option that requires four practices a week. Figure out a way to fit sports into your life in a way that works for the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Then I might say quit Scouts or one of the after school activities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

I agree that colleges are looking more for dedication and a passion at something rather than well roundedness like they used to.

The problem is that unless your kid tries something, you never know what he is passionate about. That means you may need to try a couple sports or activities before you find one that your child enjoys.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like your kids are involved in two extra school activities each. Is there a way to car pool with someone for some of the kids? You might need to ask them what they want to do ore, a sport or Scouts. I would cut the sport before Scouts, but that is me.

I don’t know if mine is a sports kid. He enjoys playing baseball and basketball. He asks to play both those sports. He likes tennis and will take lessons when baseball and basketball are not options. He loves hiking and camping. He has been having a blast with Cub Scouts. Hiking, camping, playing games with his friends, the occassional crafty thing, lockins at the museum.

We keep him plenty busy and active but I don’t think that he has to play a sport 3-5 times a week right now, I don’t think he is that interested. But he loves baseball practice and games.

There are many positives to sports but I don’t think that there are too many kids who HAVE to play a sport. They can run around the yard or neighborhood, ride bikes and do a ton of different things to epxpend energy. A younger kid does not HAVE to do travel sports. I get it when you hit sixth grade, there are kids that outgrow the competition, but before then strikes me as a way to get parents to pay extra money for their kid to play a sport.

I think you could easily say that the kids HAVE to be active, and you can accomplish that without sports practice and games 3-5 times a week for a kid in elementary school. Amd if they really want to play more baseball, get them a wiffle ball and bat so they can play in the yard. That is what we did as kids, we played wiffle ball or tennis ball derby in the yards. When we got older, we biked to a near by field. Sports can be played in a more unorganized fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

But the OP didn't say "My kids LOVE sports but it's making me miserable." S/He said there is "so much pressure to be well-rounded" and "we are so busy." Pressure from whom??? I would have a different answer if this is what the kids LOVED.

[Anonymous]

I get the desire to have a well rounded kid. I want to expose my son to as much as I can so he can see what he enjoys. I wouldn’t mind adding a music lesson into his schedule but he is not interested and I am not going to force it. There is pressure later on to have a nice list of extra curriculars for college applications but that is later on and those extras don’t have to be a sport ot an instrument. There are many ways to be involved at school.

[Anonymous]

If both Parents work your need nanny or aupair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I try my best to get my kids involved in the same sports (we have 2 boys and a girl fwiw).

They're all involved in tennis and skiing. Then one also does soccer, one does fencing, and the other does a bunch of dance classes.

Op here. My kids play a lot of different sports throughout the year. They play tennis, golf and soccer. They also love to ski. Thank god they are no longer doing swim team and boys didn’t love baseball.

Why are we such a sports obsessed society?

Because no one is home for the kids to play outside anymore so they do sports to make up for that time that we all spent mucking around the neighborhood and playing kick the can and freeze tag.

My mom stayed at home and I had three siblings. I am 47. All four of us had a sport we played during the fall and spring season. And we played outside with out friends. All 4 of us played an instrument at school. Two of us were in Drama, 3 of us were in choir, 2 of us were in the marching band and symphony.

And yet we all played with kids in the neighborhood. And that was in the 1980’s. So this is not a new phenomina.

Sports are one way to teach kids how to play nicely with others, develop good social skills, learn how to win and lose, and develop some good physical habits. I play soccer and softball as an adult and I played them as a kid.

I have no idea how my Mom handled all of our activites, I know that I rode my bike or walked to them as I got older. I am sure she was overwhelmed at times like the OP sounds.

It sounds like the OPs kids have activities at school, music and art, and then sports and Scouts as the after school? I can’t imagine that it is easy with 3 kids. My kid loves his sports and his Scouts so I know why your kids do as well. Maybe look for a way to car pool?

I had a similar childhood in the 80s but the big thing that has changed is that these kid sports 1) start earlier and 2) seem to demand way more of your time. I played soccer and my siblings played softball and baseball at various times. We only ever had one practice per week and one game per week. And no sport teams expect you to play it year-round -- swim in summer, soccer in Fall, baseball/softball in Spring.

I was a well-rounded 1980s UMC child as well. I agree that the big difference is that most sports were not year round. I also think that dance and musical instrument instruction did not happen during the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I try my best to get my kids involved in the same sports (we have 2 boys and a girl fwiw).

They're all involved in tennis and skiing. Then one also does soccer, one does fencing, and the other does a bunch of dance classes.

Op here. My kids play a lot of different sports throughout the year. They play tennis, golf and soccer. They also love to ski. Thank god they are no longer doing swim team and boys didn’t love baseball.

Why are we such a sports obsessed society?

Because no one is home for the kids to play outside anymore so they do sports to make up for that time that we all spent mucking around the neighborhood and playing kick the can and freeze tag.

Totally this! We got tired of playing with DS1 while everyone on the neighborhood did outside activities. Didn’t repeat that mistake with DS2. Both kids do stuff 5 days of the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is demanding this?

+1. "We" are not a sports-obsessed society. Certain groups are sports-obsessed, and you decide whether you want to buy into it. If the kids like it and you can afford it, I think it's nice to let them play a sport or two. But it's not like they won't get into college if they don't play a sport every season (and in fact, elite colleges don't even like well-rounded students. They prefer students who have demonstrated passion and commitment to one or two things that are really, really important to them).

+1

Again, and this comes up every time sports are mentioned - if you don't have a 'sports' kid, you JUST DONT GET IT. for these kids, they live and die for sports. Their friends largely do, too. The idea that 'it's nice to let them play sports' is, for these kids, the same as saying 'it's nice to let them read' or whatever for yours.

Because otherwise they couldn't be social. I'm sure if they had the option to run around the neighborhood or in the woods unattended they would prefer that to driving for 30 minutes and getting instructions.

What? My kids play in our neighborhood outside with their friends every single day, including weekends. That in no way dampens their desire to spend time playing their sport. PP hit the nail on the head - you just don't get it.