What age do boys stop making sexual and racial innuendos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Neither DH not I talk like this so I was shocked when DS started saying racist things around 14[/b]. All I could think was that one of his friends came from a family of bigots. It was very, very upsetting. Part of me felt he was naive because he was not aware of racial stereotypes. We did not tolerate it and it was very upsetting. I think it finally stopped around 16 or 17. I think it just took maturity.

Where do you people live? I live in a "red" area, and this type of talk among kids is not the norm at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS says that the boys at his school make comments about sexual orientation--it bothers him a lot. He asks me about it and I encourage him to speak up by telling him that, statistically, there is one person (probably more) in every one of his classes that is LGBT. Someone is hearing these comments and being hurt. He said he told the principal.
DS said that one of the boys used the word "ho" and he told the boy that he would laugh when some girl punched him in the face.
He hasn't mentioned any racial comments.

Your son sounds like a major snowflake.

NP. My son is a varsity athlete and an extremely popular/social kid. He finds comments about sexual orientation extremely offensive, as do his friends, his parents and pretty much all the adults he knows. He doesn't hear racist comments because his school is majority minority and anyone who made those kinds of comments would experience immediate negative consequences.

Hate speech may be the norm where you live, but it's not in my kid's large, urban public high school.

[Anonymous]

I would say with respect to 14 year olds, you need to nip that talk in the bud. They know what is appropriate and what is not. They are not 5. What they also know is what is cool and what is not. Negative statements about other kids' sexual orientation, race, relative wealth, are all very much not part of teen kids vernacular any more. That is one of the very big changes over the last 15 years or so.


I would add, we moved into an area a couple of years ago that is very politically conservative with lots of church going families. So much so that a pretty common introduction when adults meet is to identify where you attend church. There are, for sure, lots and lots of MAGA hat owners here, and everyone I have met here, parents and kids, would be very offended if they heard teenagers using sexist, racist or homophobic language.

It is no great campaign or anything -- the kids just do not use that language, or think negatively, about each other for race, sexual orientation or wealth (very mixed economically school). Do they all love each other? Of course not. There are still jerks and cheats, and all the rest. But, not dealing with race or sex stuff. So -- progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys will be Boys

“Boys will be boys”

“It’s just locker room talk”

[Anonymous]

How old is Dotard? He has not stopped, has he?

[Anonymous]

What do you mean when does it stop?

My son’s were never allowed to start.

[Anonymous]

Why is this just about boys? The girls all talk like this too, perhaps even more so. Anyone been in a middle or high school recently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Neither DH not I talk like this so I was shocked when DS started saying racist things around 14[/b]. All I could think was that one of his friends came from a family of bigots. It was very, very upsetting. Part of me felt he was naive because he was not aware of racial stereotypes. We did not tolerate it and it was very upsetting. I think it finally stopped around 16 or 17. I think it just took maturity.

Where do you people live? I live in a "red" area, and this type of talk among kids is not the norm at all.

I lived in a "red" area, and this type.of talk was the norm--especially among private school boys and poor / working class families. The educated middle class, not as much.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes never. Look at the bafoon who lives at 1600 PA Ave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say with respect to 14 year olds, you need to nip that talk in the bud. They know what is appropriate and what is not. They are not 5. What they also know is what is cool and what is not. Negative statements about other kids' sexual orientation, race, relative wealth, are all very much not part of teen kids vernacular any more. That is one of the very big changes over the last 15 years or so.


I would add, we moved into an area a couple of years ago that is very politically conservative with lots of church going families. So much so that a pretty common introduction when adults meet is to identify where you attend church. There are, for sure, lots and lots of MAGA hat owners here, and everyone I have met here, parents and kids, would be very offended if they heard teenagers using sexist, racist or homophobic language.

It is no great campaign or anything -- the kids just do not use that language, or think negatively, about each other for race, sexual orientation or wealth (very mixed economically school). Do they all love each other? Of course not. There are still jerks and cheats, and all the rest. But, not dealing with race or sex stuff. So -- progress.


This post is quite naive. I substitute in various schools and this speech is very common with minority kids. To be honest, and very blunt it's not something you hear among Asian and white kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Neither DH not I talk like this so I was shocked when DS started saying racist things around 14. All I could think was that one of his friends came from a family of bigots. It was very, very upsetting. Part of me felt he was naive because he was not aware of racial stereotypes. We did not tolerate it and it was very upsetting. I think it finally stopped around 16 or 17. I think it just took maturity.

Where do you people live? I live in a "red" area, and this type of talk among kids is not the norm at all.

I lived in a "red" area, and this type.of talk [/b]was the norm[b]--especially among private school boys and poor / working class families. The educated middle class, not as much.

Key word being was. It's not like that anymore.

[Anonymous]

Read the boymom thread.

[Anonymous]

They won't stop unless someone tells them it is wrong. Speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS says that the boys at his school make comments about sexual orientation--it bothers him a lot. He asks me about it and I encourage him to speak up by telling him that, statistically, there is one person (probably more) in every one of his classes that is LGBT. Someone is hearing these comments and being hurt. He said he told the principal.
DS said that one of the boys used the word "ho" and he told the boy that he would laugh when some girl punched him in the face.
He hasn't mentioned any racial comments.

Your son sounds like a major snowflake.

NP. My son is a varsity athlete and an extremely popular/social kid. He finds comments about sexual orientation extremely offensive, as do his friends, his parents and pretty much all the adults he knows. He doesn't hear racist comments because his school is majority minority and anyone who made those kinds of comments would experience immediate negative consequences.

Hate speech may be the norm where you live, but it's not in my kid's large, urban public high school.

pp here- a kid who is willing to speak up is the opposite of a "snowflake." Boys egging each other on to worse behavior, bowing to peer pressure, homophobia, misogyny, racism, etc., no thanks. We're going to try to break that cycle.

[Anonymous]

Again, where are the girls in this conversation? The teenaged girls I hear talking on a daily basis are every bit as gross and inappropriate as the boys, sometimes much more so.