Why do women have to wait for a man to propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.

That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

Why does he get to decide?

He doesn't. He gets to ask. You get to decide whether to say yes or no.

[Anonymous]

The whole proposing thing has gotten completely out of hand. I agree - don't wait for the guy to propose if you seriously want to marry him. But also don't make it this huge deal. My husband said to me - you know if we do the marriage thing we should schedule it for next summer when we'll both be on the job market and looking to move. I said yes, good idea and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.

That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

Why does he get to decide?

He doesn't. He gets to ask. You get to decide whether to say yes or no. '

Nobody should propose unless they are 100% sure they are getting a yes.

[Anonymous]

For us, the actual proposal with the ring was just the verbal formality, sort of like wedding vows or a will signing ceremony.

We’d hashed out everything before the proposal: finances, religion, where to live, kids, etc. By the time of the formal proposal we’d already decided to get married and bought the ring together..

[Anonymous]

I think if you have to ask a man to marry you, he really isn’t that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice tradition

I would say no if a woman proposed to me even if I was planning on proposing to her - it is denying me a moment that is special for all men

“For all men”? Uh, no.

For men that get married, yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question! Why should a woman wait for the man to propose? If she’s ready to make that next step, why can’t she propose to him?

Because if a man doesn't propose, he doesn't want to marry you. That's why you can't propose to him.

I agree with this somewhat. I feel like a marriage discussion is normal, healthy, and usually happens by most couples and the proposals are more of a when than an if by the time they happen- I still think the man should be the one to formally ask the question with a ring he purchased.

I think a relationship has a better chance for happiness and longevity if the man is a tiny bit more smitten with the women than she is with him. Proposing and buying a ring are two big steps that he takes independently to show his love to the woman and level of commitment to the relationship...before getting married.

[Anonymous]

Women don't because they would never recover from the rejection. Men are use to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice tradition

I would say no if a woman proposed to me even if I was planning on proposing to her - it is denying me a moment that is special for all men

“For all men”? Uh, no.

For men that get married, yes

Wrong. I am a straight married woman, but I think that there must be nothing worse for relationships and marriage regarding gender roles than straight marriages sometimes.

Isomehow, gay couples figure all of this stuff out without the gender politics. Which to me goes to show that it's not innate. It's all artificial

[Anonymous]

It is tradition. But it is a tradition no one is obligated to follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of a man proposing. Don’t care what others do. But there are some of us that like convention, and like traditional roles. We shouldn’t be judged anymore than people who don’t.

I disagree. There are conventions that are extremely sexist and I think it is important to single them out. Like asking permission to the woman’s father, for example.

I don’t know anyone who asked his future FIL for permission and I’m a boomer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.

That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

Why does he get to decide?

Because you are risk adverse and too comfortable with the man taking all the risk. When was the last time a woman asked a man out and paid for the meal or in this case got down on her knees and gave the man a ring? Much better when the man does it ...not so great the other way around. Could you image telling your girlfriends....yes I asked him. Think how they would talk behind your back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice tradition

I would say no if a woman proposed to me even if I was planning on proposing to her - it is denying me a moment that is special for all men

“For all men”? Uh, no.

For men that get married, yes

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you have to ask a man to marry you, he really isn’t that into you.

Can’t that work both ways?

[Anonymous]

Because he has to love you more than you love him.