Why do women have to wait for a man to propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am loving this thread. Agree with cute old fashioned tradition, participate if you want but not necessary. This is a weird American thing, Europeans have been having mature conversations about their future together, without the brouhaha of formal proposal, for a long time.

+1

Also had the conversation quite frankly before a ring was ever produced. Wasn’t if, but when we cleared some financial hurdles.

[Anonymous]

This is no different from men being the one to ask women out, first ask for phone number, pay for dates, on and on. Even the most hardcore feminists will admit to secretly wanting all of this. Doesn't it all go back to biology and what each sex is designed for at its roots in order to continue the human race? The man pursues and the woman accepts the best fit one in order to ensure her offspring has the best chance of survival.

There is so much about dating and relationships that we try to paint over because of the human experience and we forget that below all of this we are just animals controlled by instincts we aren't even aware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is no different from men being the one to ask women out, first ask for phone number, pay for dates, on and on. Even the most hardcore feminists will admit to secretly wanting all of this. Doesn't it all go back to biology and what each sex is designed for at its roots in order to continue the human race? The man pursues and the woman accepts the best fit one in order to ensure her offspring has the best chance of survival.

There is so much about dating and relationships that we try to paint over because of the human experience and we forget that below all of this we are just animals controlled by instincts we aren't even aware of.

I think it goes back to the idea that men aren’t ready to settle down until much later than women and perhaps the trope that the “right” woman will change his mind. If guys in their 20’s were dating to marry and the guy saying yes to a date meant something it would be a different ballgame. My worry today is you assume the guys are “sowing their wild oats” so a yes to a woman asking is because he wants to sleep with you and maybe has no intentions of dating you. Him making the effort, while it doesn’t mean he isn’t also doing the same with other woman, means you have better odds than if he made zero effort.

[Anonymous]

You are worthy as a woman if some dude decides you're worthy of a proposal?

Who has actually claimed that this century?

[Anonymous]

Mature people usually just decide

and btw, I HATE the revived tradition of asking the Father's permission.

[Anonymous]

[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.


That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are worthy as a woman if some dude decides you're worthy of a proposal?

Who has actually claimed that this century?

No one in this thread

[Anonymous]

and do men always know? In a reasonable amount of time? what would be a reasonable amount of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and do men always know? In a reasonable amount of time? what would be a reasonable amount of time?

No one should get married without feeling confident about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question! Why should a woman wait for the man to propose? If she’s ready to make that next step, why can’t she propose to him?

They don't. Next question?

[Anonymous]

I get what you are saying, and ignore those who say it isn't that way. The entire wedding culture involves the branding of the proposal, the engagement, and the list goes on. It's so stupid- we've come so far in culture change for women, but the wedding industry brings us back to Disney and the knight in shining armour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Your worth as a woman isn't determined by any one dude wanting to propose. However, the dude's desire to marry you is definitely determined by whether or not he proposes. That's all there's to it.

That’s all there is to it. It’s clear and definitive that a man who initiates Proposal unquestionably desires to marry YOU. Because they’re asking the question, and don’t need convincing. They just want the answer. They have their own process of decisionmaking that can differ from their woman’s. Not sure how this works with gay couples, I can see it bring much more semantic in a heterosexual relationship with male and female gender roles.

Why does he get to decide?

[Anonymous]

We did not have a "proposal" .. I don't think they are cute. To me it's weird.

There were many discussion before we decided we wanted to get married to each other, picked a date and got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get what you are saying, and ignore those who say it isn't that way. The entire wedding culture involves the branding of the proposal, the engagement, and the list goes on. It's so stupid- we've come so far in culture change for women, but the wedding industry brings us back to Disney and the knight in shining armour.

This has nothing to do with wedding culture.

[Anonymous]

A woman doesn't want to feel like they are auditioning

waiting for him to choose, waiting for them to decide