YOLO vs savings - please share your stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public nursing homes are awful. You wait and wait for care. Walk in one and you’ll see how unkempt everyone is. You’ll hear people moaning bc they have to wait for meds until the overworked and understaffed nurses can help you. It’s not an either or. You need to balance it out. Be thrifty but spend some as well on things that you really enjoy.

My grandpa has pressure sores that he did not go into the nursing home with. They’re trying to say it’s a result of his condition. No, it’s terrible care. A law firm I used to work at represents a huge nursing home chain so I already know how this plays out! He worked in factories for 50 years. He had a 2nd grade education so very little pay and had 11 kids so he was neither YOLING or saving much.

Can’t his 11 chip in? Even the grandkids could help a bit. That’s really rough PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public nursing homes are awful. You wait and wait for care. Walk in one and you’ll see how unkempt everyone is. You’ll hear people moaning bc they have to wait for meds until the overworked and understaffed nurses can help you. It’s not an either or. You need to balance it out. Be thrifty but spend some as well on things that you really enjoy.

My grandpa has pressure sores that he did not go into the nursing home with. They’re trying to say it’s a result of his condition. No, it’s terrible care. A law firm I used to work at represents a huge nursing home chain so I already know how this plays out! He worked in factories for 50 years. He had a 2nd grade education so very little pay and had 11 kids so he was neither YOLING or saving much.

Can’t his 11 chip in? Even the grandkids could help a bit. That’s really rough PP.

I would say having 11 kids is the very definition of yoloing...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public nursing homes are awful. You wait and wait for care. Walk in one and you’ll see how unkempt everyone is. You’ll hear people moaning bc they have to wait for meds until the overworked and understaffed nurses can help you. It’s not an either or. You need to balance it out. Be thrifty but spend some as well on things that you really enjoy.

My grandpa has pressure sores that he did not go into the nursing home with. They’re trying to say it’s a result of his condition. No, it’s terrible care. A law firm I used to work at represents a huge nursing home chain so I already know how this plays out! He worked in factories for 50 years. He had a 2nd grade education so very little pay and had 11 kids so he was neither YOLING or saving much.

Can’t his 11 chip in? Even the grandkids could help a bit. That’s really rough PP.

I would say having 11 kids is the very definition of yoloing...

In pre pill days, people had many more children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Share your stories, especially if those involved have already lived a long life (and have seen the effects of life's ups and downs). I am looking for perspectives of those who have been there done that.
Anyone regret being too frugal?
Anyone regret not saving enough for retirement/rainy days?
Anyone very happy with their financial choices?

You can do many fun things and still save.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late 40s. Looking back my best YOLO stories have pretty much nothing to do with spending money and more about being open-minded, able to shift gears, respond to opportunities, enjoy my relationships, enjoy time spent with art, nature, music and my children. I have always lived below my means and I have always privileged having a good life. I don't see these things as in opposition.

Anytime I *thought* there was a YOLO trade-off, I pretty much was fooling myself into spending money that didn't offer that much reward in the long view. For instance, I once decided to do a bigger international vacation with a group of friends. It was fine, but in retrospect it didn't make me any closer to that group of people than more day-to-day experiences and didn't provide as memorable experiences as hiking different parts of a mountain about 1 hour away and it wasn't anywhere as meaningful as my year working abroad. Like many people, in my 20s, I spent money attending weddings in different states--in the long view, it doesn't seem to matter to my friendships whose wedding I was able to make and whose I wasn't. About a third are divorced now and many have drifted apart except on social media. Concerts, restaurants and other cultural events I spent more money on didn't impact me more than those that were cheaper--usually it was the other way around--I like the sense that I discovered a good find rather than I merely bought one.

I would say living below my means my whole life has afforded me psychological security to live a good life not focused on spending for happiness. I now have capital to make choices about where I live, how I spend my time, not get stuck in a dead-end job, not worry about providing for my children or my future and I don't feel I "gave up" anything to get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like having enough money that i do not need to worry about being able to afford important things. I would YOLO if I lived in Scandinavia or some other civilized country. U feel that USA is pretty brutal to its poorer citizens so I save enough to be able to live relatively worry free here. Money removes a lot of stress and unless one is born rich being frugal is the most straightforward way of generating some safety buffer.

Do you know that Scandinavians have some of the highest personal debt amounts in the entire world? They are debt slaves. They also have way less freedom to retire early or do anything remotely different from their peers. You do what the system tells you to do. The way the tax system works you have to take it as large of a mortgage as you can possibly obtain. It’s hardly a perfect place since almost all women have to work to pay for their huge mortgage. They have a much lower disposable income amount as well. The fact you think there is less stress about money in a Scandinavian country is laughable.

I am looking at this from my specific perspective. I doubt I would have any more debt if I lived there vs. here.

Just a simple fact that US does not have a paid maternity leave is all that one has to know whether society cares about its people. US prospered because it was able to import a lot of smart people and outsource the cost of raising them. That seems to be ending and YOLO is definitely to a way to respalmostond to that. I equate YOLO to someone tailgating, basically not thinking ahead and not understanding statistics.

Then you wouldn’t have any net worth. There is a wealth tax on nonreal estate assets and most families have the majority of their net worth tied up in real estate. It’s how you get ahead and you have to borrow to do it. So unless you’re going to live in housing way smaller and not as nice as here, you absolutely would have a lot more debt. Most people in Scandinavia have giant mortgages.

PP is correct. Household debt to income is much higher in Scandinavia than it is in the US. In the U.S. and Japan, debt is about 100% of income. In Denmark, it is almost three times income. Norway almost two and half times, and Sweden nearly two times.

https://data.oecd.org/hha/household-debt.htm

Yet it also appears the US is very low on household assets (only Chile is lower). Like the above posters describe, you can't cherry pick a category (e.g. debt, assets) to understand a country's finances. Different tax structures encourage different behaviors. Also averages are very distorting--I'd much rather see median and 25th-75th percentile distributions.

[Anonymous]

My parents and DH’s parents are both retired, had similar careers / earnings / etc. my parents were a bit more conservative financially whereas DHs parents were (as I am told) always keeping up with the Jones’s, buying the most expensive house or car they could qualify for.

My parents are enjoying a very comfortable retirement with a vacation house and spending a couple months a year traveling. DHs parents had to downsize into a smaller house don’t really have much to speak of in terms of savings and are still paying off a mortgage out of their pension / social security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 40s. Looking back my best YOLO stories have pretty much nothing to do with spending money and more about being open-minded, able to shift gears, respond to opportunities, enjoy my relationships, enjoy time spent with art, nature, music and my children. I have always lived below my means and I have always privileged having a good life. I don't see these things as in opposition.

Anytime I *thought* there was a YOLO trade-off, I pretty much was fooling myself into spending money that didn't offer that much reward in the long view. For instance, I once decided to do a bigger international vacation with a group of friends. It was fine, but in retrospect it didn't make me any closer to that group of people than more day-to-day experiences and didn't provide as memorable experiences as hiking different parts of a mountain about 1 hour away and it wasn't anywhere as meaningful as my year working abroad. Like many people, in my 20s, I spent money attending weddings in different states--in the long view, it doesn't seem to matter to my friendships whose wedding I was able to make and whose I wasn't. About a third are divorced now and many have drifted apart except on social media. Concerts, restaurants and other cultural events I spent more money on didn't impact me more than those that were cheaper--usually it was the other way around--I like the sense that I discovered a good find rather than I merely bought one.

I would say living below my means my whole life has afforded me psychological security to live a good life not focused on spending for happiness. I now have capital to make choices about where I live, how I spend my time, not get stuck in a dead-end job, not worry about providing for my children or my future and I don't feel I "gave up" anything to get them.

Very very similar views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like having enough money that i do not need to worry about being able to afford important things. I would YOLO if I lived in Scandinavia or some other civilized country. U feel that USA is pretty brutal to its poorer citizens so I save enough to be able to live relatively worry free here. Money removes a lot of stress and unless one is born rich being frugal is the most straightforward way of generating some safety buffer.

Do you know that Scandinavians have some of the highest personal debt amounts in the entire world? They are debt slaves. They also have way less freedom to retire early or do anything remotely different from their peers. You do what the system tells you to do. The way the tax system works you have to take it as large of a mortgage as you can possibly obtain. It’s hardly a perfect place since almost all women have to work to pay for their huge mortgage. They have a much lower disposable income amount as well. The fact you think there is less stress about money in a Scandinavian country is laughable.

I am looking at this from my specific perspective. I doubt I would have any more debt if I lived there vs. here.

Just a simple fact that US does not have a paid maternity leave is all that one has to know whether society cares about its people. US prospered because it was able to import a lot of smart people and outsource the cost of raising them. That seems to be ending and YOLO is definitely to a way to respalmostond to that. I equate YOLO to someone tailgating, basically not thinking ahead and not understanding statistics.

Then you wouldn’t have any net worth. There is a wealth tax on nonreal estate assets and most families have the majority of their net worth tied up in real estate. It’s how you get ahead and you have to borrow to do it. So unless you’re going to live in housing way smaller and not as nice as here, you absolutely would have a lot more debt. Most people in Scandinavia have giant mortgages.

PP is correct. Household debt to income is much higher in Scandinavia than it is in the US. In the U.S. and Japan, debt is about 100% of income. In Denmark, it is almost three times income. Norway almost two and half times, and Sweden nearly two times.

https://data.oecd.org/hha/household-debt.htm

Yet it also appears the US is very low on household assets (only Chile is lower). Like the above posters describe, you can't cherry pick a category (e.g. debt, assets) to understand a country's finances. Different tax structures encourage different behaviors. Also averages are very distorting--I'd much rather see median and 25th-75th percentile distributions.

Huh? Where did you find this statistic?! The US has the highest net worth by household in the WORLD!!!

https://www.businessinsider.com/net-worth-average-family-around-the-world-oecd-countries-2018-7

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like having enough money that i do not need to worry about being able to afford important things. I would YOLO if I lived in Scandinavia or some other civilized country. U feel that USA is pretty brutal to its poorer citizens so I save enough to be able to live relatively worry free here. Money removes a lot of stress and unless one is born rich being frugal is the most straightforward way of generating some safety buffer.

Do you know that Scandinavians have some of the highest personal debt amounts in the entire world? They are debt slaves. They also have way less freedom to retire early or do anything remotely different from their peers. You do what the system tells you to do. The way the tax system works you have to take it as large of a mortgage as you can possibly obtain. It’s hardly a perfect place since almost all women have to work to pay for their huge mortgage. They have a much lower disposable income amount as well. The fact you think there is less stress about money in a Scandinavian country is laughable.

I am looking at this from my specific perspective. I doubt I would have any more debt if I lived there vs. here.

Just a simple fact that US does not have a paid maternity leave is all that one has to know whether society cares about its people. US prospered because it was able to import a lot of smart people and outsource the cost of raising them. That seems to be ending and YOLO is definitely to a way to respalmostond to that. I equate YOLO to someone tailgating, basically not thinking ahead and not understanding statistics.

Then you wouldn’t have any net worth. There is a wealth tax on nonreal estate assets and most families have the majority of their net worth tied up in real estate. It’s how you get ahead and you have to borrow to do it. So unless you’re going to live in housing way smaller and not as nice as here, you absolutely would have a lot more debt. Most people in Scandinavia have giant mortgages.

PP is correct. Household debt to income is much higher in Scandinavia than it is in the US. In the U.S. and Japan, debt is about 100% of income. In Denmark, it is almost three times income. Norway almost two and half times, and Sweden nearly two times.

https://data.oecd.org/hha/household-debt.htm

Yet it also appears the US is very low on household assets (only Chile is lower). Like the above posters describe, you can't cherry pick a category (e.g. debt, assets) to understand a country's finances. Different tax structures encourage different behaviors. Also averages are very distorting--I'd much rather see median and 25th-75th percentile distributions.

Huh? Where did you find this statistic?! The US has the highest net worth by household in the WORLD!!!

https://www.businessinsider.com/net-worth-average-family-around-the-world-oecd-countries-2018-7

At the same site linked above, the oecd data. Net financial assets--I should have been more specific. My point wasn't a claim about overall net worth, but more that if you slice the data in certain ways different countries will emerge as leaders. Countries have different policies and situations that encourage different economic behaviors--saving in retirement accounts vs. buying gold, saving vs. taking on debt. Value of net worth relative to COL. Also countries are highly variable in terms of the inequity---- what's the difference between median and average of any category. One category based on averages can't tell the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public nursing homes are awful. You wait and wait for care. Walk in one and you’ll see how unkempt everyone is. You’ll hear people moaning bc they have to wait for meds until the overworked and understaffed nurses can help you. It’s not an either or. You need to balance it out. Be thrifty but spend some as well on things that you really enjoy.

My grandpa has pressure sores that he did not go into the nursing home with. They’re trying to say it’s a result of his condition. No, it’s terrible care. A law firm I used to work at represents a huge nursing home chain so I already know how this plays out! He worked in factories for 50 years. He had a 2nd grade education so very little pay and had 11 kids so he was neither YOLING or saving much.

Can’t his 11 chip in? Even the grandkids could help a bit. That’s really rough PP.

I would say having 11 kids is the very definition of yoloing...

In pre pill days, people had many more children.

They could have chosen less sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public nursing homes are awful. You wait and wait for care. Walk in one and you’ll see how unkempt everyone is. You’ll hear people moaning bc they have to wait for meds until the overworked and understaffed nurses can help you. It’s not an either or. You need to balance it out. Be thrifty but spend some as well on things that you really enjoy.

My grandpa has pressure sores that he did not go into the nursing home with. They’re trying to say it’s a result of his condition. No, it’s terrible care. A law firm I used to work at represents a huge nursing home chain so I already know how this plays out! He worked in factories for 50 years. He had a 2nd grade education so very little pay and had 11 kids so he was neither YOLING or saving much.

Can’t his 11 chip in? Even the grandkids could help a bit. That’s really rough PP.

I would say having 11 kids is the very definition of yoloing...

In pre pill days, people had many more children.

They could have chosen less sex.

That sounds terrible.

[Anonymous]

I feel like we are doing both. We are 40 and 41 and save over 50% of our income and have a luxurious life, on track to retire well before 50. Here's some of the stuff that makes life feel luxurious to us:

International travel every other year (funded through credit card points and airbnb, no fancy packages)
Eat healthy foods at home (mostly Costco, Aldi)
Some inexpensive kid activities, but not overscheduled
Starbucks every day (yes, kind of ridiculous)
Housecleaner every other week
Lots of potlucks with friends and hosting small parties with other families
Mortgage

What we don't spend much on because we don't value it:

Eating/drinking out (we dine out without kids at most once a month, almost never with kids, and mostly entertain at home)
Short weekend flight trips that add stress
Mall and Target trips
Clothing (mostly second hand for kids and not much for me)
Concerts and entertainment
Beauty and skin care
Cars (both are over 10 years old)
Commuting (I ride my bike as much as possible)

[Anonymous]

Eff the $$ my yolo moment will be next Feb 2rd in Miami, watching my team win the Superbowl! Wife and kids will be there w/ me.. a trip I will never care how much it costs even though its dollar for dollar a total ripoff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we are doing both. We are 40 and 41 and save over 50% of our income and have a luxurious life, on track to retire well before 50. Here's some of the stuff that makes life feel luxurious to us:

International travel every other year (funded through credit card points and airbnb, no fancy packages)
Eat healthy foods at home (mostly Costco, Aldi)
Some inexpensive kid activities, but not overscheduled
Starbucks every day (yes, kind of ridiculous)
Housecleaner every other week
Lots of potlucks with friends and hosting small parties with other families
Mortgage

What we don't spend much on because we don't value it:

Eating/drinking out (we dine out without kids at most once a month, almost never with kids, and mostly entertain at home)
Short weekend flight trips that add stress
Mall and Target trips
Clothing (mostly second hand for kids and not much for me)
Concerts and entertainment
Beauty and skin care
Cars (both are over 10 years old)
Commuting (I ride my bike as much as possible)

well yes one way around this is by having an incredibly high income