NYT: 30 somethings still being bankrolled by their parents

[Anonymous]

I'm a Gen X'er who has 2 early 20's kids on our health insurance. I don't feel like I'm paying it for them-if I disenrolled them, I'd still be paying the same family rate because I have minor children still.

I wish I could have paid cash for the kids' educations. I am helping best I can and I'm glad I can do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, how do you think people starting out can afford to buy a $600,000 house on an entry level salary ? Does not come to a surprise to those of us who are struggling to do it ourselves.

What is infuriating is that those houses wouldn’t be $600,000 if parents weren’t buying them for their kids. Our HHI is $150,000 and we might be able to afford a place that price... if we weren’t paying $2,000/month for daycare.

[Anonymous]

I asked my very comfortable parents with help for daycare for two under 5. My mother told me "no." They will do nothing to help with kids. However, they are currently paying a professional editor to proof my dissertation and they want to buy my regalia. I could do without the regalia....and while I am grateful for the editor....man...I would love a bit of help for the kids. Also, I don't even mean money, I mean come and visit during school holidays so I don't have to pay additional daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the real story here is how well Boomers have done as a generation. I don't think the premise that previous generations were "emancipated" from their families because of some moral choice is right. Rich people gonna rich, and that means passing money to their children throughout their lives. It always has! There are just more of those families. These examples aren't of boomer parents eating canned soup so they can pay grandson's NYC private school tuition. These are boomer parents who can afford it.

Most of these examples are directly related to the tax code. If you are a rich boomer and you're trying to minimize your/your heirs tax burden, it makes sense to max out the cash gift every year (I think it's $14k?) and pay any tuition or medical expense you can, because it avoids the gift tax. I think the Times is really irresponsible for writing this story without pointing out the estate planning angle - not that it's not still a huge and arguably unfair boost for the millennials, but it is only logical that affluent boomers would do that.

Yes yes, this! Huge tax benefits.

[Anonymous]

As someone who had no help applying to college (and making financial decisions about college), and no financial help from my parents after turning 18, this article is kind of rage inducing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who had no help applying to college (and making financial decisions about college), and no financial help from my parents after turning 18, this article is kind of rage inducing.

Nah. It’s totally worth being an independent adult whose major financial successes have been entirely on her own.

A lot of times money comes with strings. I have pseudo wealthy parents who could pay for things if I asked them. But I would feel like a loser having my parents pay for preschool, our downpayment etc.

Many of the friends whose parents still pay for things have marital problems as a result. Money is rarely free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THE rub comes when people act like they've earned everything on their own, and look down on everyone who has to actually work to maintain a certain lifestyle or worse, to maintain something less.

You’ve learned two critical lessons today-life is unfair and some people are snobs. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these millennials and I don’t really care how “sad” it seems to other people. I would have my life together fine without parental help. They have offered me money and support, and so my standard of living is somewhat better. So what? I am married, have 2 great kids, have a great job and they are happy too. Thanks to them we are saving like crazy and ahead of most people financially.

You answered your own question

And? Is your point that you’re jealous or life is unfair? Either way it sounds like a lot of whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these millennials and I don’t really care how “sad” it seems to other people. I would have my life together fine without parental help. They have offered me money and support, and so my standard of living is somewhat better. So what? I am married, have 2 great kids, have a great job and they are happy too. Thanks to them we are saving like crazy and ahead of most people financially.

You answered your own question

And? Is your point that you’re jealous or life is unfair? Either way it sounds like a lot of whining.

I'm not the PP, but here is my two cents, Everyone hates a smug, entitled, "born on third" kind of person, always have and most always will. sorry. Life is unfair. most people hate you. I kind of hate you and I don't even know you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the real story here is how well Boomers have done as a generation. I don't think the premise that previous generations were "emancipated" from their families because of some moral choice is right. Rich people gonna rich, and that means passing money to their children throughout their lives. It always has! There are just more of those families. These examples aren't of boomer parents eating canned soup so they can pay grandson's NYC private school tuition. These are boomer parents who can afford it.

Most of these examples are directly related to the tax code. If you are a rich boomer and you're trying to minimize your/your heirs tax burden, it makes sense to max out the cash gift every year (I think it's $14k?) and pay any tuition or medical expense you can, because it avoids the gift tax. I think the Times is really irresponsible for writing this story without pointing out the estate planning angle - not that it's not still a huge and arguably unfair boost for the millennials, but it is only logical that affluent boomers would do that.

Yes yes, this! Huge tax benefits.

This is absolutely true. My spouse and I have been pretty independent, live in a small apartment and pay for full time day care, etc...then this December my parents said "we're doing a lot of financial planning adjustment, here, I need you to cash this check for $17k by Dec. 31." Which means we can use ALL our down payment savings for a down payment when we find a house, since that should cover closing costs. The timing was not just about us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these millennials and I don’t really care how “sad” it seems to other people. I would have my life together fine without parental help. They have offered me money and support, and so my standard of living is somewhat better. So what? I am married, have 2 great kids, have a great job and they are happy too. Thanks to them we are saving like crazy and ahead of most people financially.

You answered your own question

And? Is your point that you’re jealous or life is unfair? Either way it sounds like a lot of whining.

I'm not the PP, but here is my two cents, Everyone hates a smug, entitled, "born on third" kind of person, always have and most always will. sorry. Life is unfair. most people hate you. I kind of hate you and I don't even know you.

LOL. Bitterness is drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. I am the original pp and your hate and resentment are your problem, not mine. I am frugal and don’t advertise. Most of my friends just think I am cheap, not well off or “born on third.” And in my parents’ culture trying to give your children what they need is typical. It is how generational wealth IS built and unlike Americans, other cultures seem to have absorbed this bit of common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these millennials and I don’t really care how “sad” it seems to other people. I would have my life together fine without parental help. They have offered me money and support, and so my standard of living is somewhat better. So what? I am married, have 2 great kids, have a great job and they are happy too. Thanks to them we are saving like crazy and ahead of most people financially.

You answered your own question

And? Is your point that you’re jealous or life is unfair? Either way it sounds like a lot of whining.

I'm not the PP, but here is my two cents, Everyone hates a smug, entitled, "born on third" kind of person, always have and most always will. sorry. Life is unfair. most people hate you. I kind of hate you and I don't even know you.

So again it boils down to you’re jealous of me and you’re whining about it. I don’t think I’m the one who needs to worry about being hated.

[Anonymous]

I just do not care. I had zero help because we were poor. But I am not poor now and I have no problem helping my kid if we need to.

I'm not the type to assign moral superiority to "making it on our own.". I'm also not the type to put strings on my help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who had no help applying to college (and making financial decisions about college), and no financial help from my parents after turning 18, this article is kind of rage inducing.

Nah. It’s totally worth being an independent adult whose major financial successes have been entirely on her own.

A lot of times money comes with strings. I have pseudo wealthy parents who could pay for things if I asked them. But I would feel like a loser having my parents pay for preschool, our downpayment etc.

Many of the friends whose parents still pay for things have marital problems as a result. Money is rarely free.

This is you trying to make yourself feel better. Lots of people get help with down payments, yearly gifts, etc. Often there is a solid relationship there. My parents gave me a large down payment and I didn’t even ask for it. If there were strings I didn’t see them and they certainly weren’t visible to my spouse, and definitely not a source of tension. And I didn’t buy an extravagant house, I bought a regular house and don’t have a mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
As someone who had no help applying to college (and making financial decisions about college), and no financial help from my parents after turning 18, this article is kind of rage inducing.


Nah. It’s totally worth being an independent adult whose major financial successes have been entirely on her own.

A lot of times money comes with strings. I have pseudo wealthy parents who could pay for things if I asked them. But I would feel like a loser having my parents pay for preschool, our downpayment etc.

Many of the friends whose parents still pay for things have marital problems as a result. Money is rarely free.


This is you trying to make yourself feel better. Lots of people get help with down payments, yearly gifts, etc. Often there is a solid relationship there. My parents gave me a large down payment and I didn’t even ask for it. If there were strings I didn’t see them and they certainly weren’t visible to my spouse, and definitely not a source of tension. And I didn’t buy an extravagant house, I bought a regular house and don’t have a mortgage.

No the PP. I don't see how you can know how that person feels. You don't know the person or the parents. Maybe this works for you and your spouse, but not everyone is the same. I have seen a situation where the grandparent gave a lot of money and created a real sense of entitlement for the grandchild (won't go into details). This caused tensions and ultimate divorce for the parents of the grandchild. Money isn't everything. Just saying.