I feel “old” around parents of kids’ DC3’s age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 50 and have a grade schooler and high schoolers. I'm always friendly to the younger moms. I say "hi" with a smile and that's it. I do my own thing.

The more interesting thing to me is that I've gotten a vibe from a few of my child's teachers (the ones in their late 20s) that they are, for lack of a better word, a little intimidated by my seniority. It's hard to explain.

I'm always friendly, but the young teachers will call the other moms by their first name and I am always "Mrs. so and so". Even after I've told them they can call me by my first name. I suppose it's a small sign of respect, but it feels distancing and off-putting at the same time. I'm 50, not 100.

My husband realized he a college senior when our 5th grader's teacher was in 3rd grade (he's about to turn 45).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DS’ preschool class some parents are late 40s to mid 50s. Some of them had their first in late 40s

Ummm I don’t think you can have biological kids in late 40s and 50s.

Using IVF you can. My friend is 47 and husband is 50 and having their first in a couple of weeks! She did IVF with her own eggs from when she was in her 30s or early 40s

[Anonymous]

To me, age of mom doesn't matter as much as which kid is it for you. If it's your first versus my second or third, it feels like very different life stages. A FTM at preschool may be fretting about the sugar in the graham crackers and bragging that her kid can read, but I've got a kid in 4th grade so I'm like this so doesn't matter. Though I'm sure some moms with kids in HS applying to college think the same about my 4th grade mom problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, age of mom doesn't matter as much as which kid is it for you. If it's your first versus my second or third, it feels like very different life stages. A FTM at preschool may be fretting about the sugar in the graham crackers and bragging that her kid can read, but I've got a kid in 4th grade so I'm like this so doesn't matter. Though I'm sure some moms with kids in HS applying to college think the same about my 4th grade mom problems.

Also older moms typically won’t grt hung up on what brand of nail clippers to buy or anything else ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, age of mom doesn't matter as much as which kid is it for you. If it's your first versus my second or third, it feels like very different life stages. A FTM at preschool may be fretting about the sugar in the graham crackers and bragging that her kid can read, but I've got a kid in 4th grade so I'm like this so doesn't matter. Though I'm sure some moms with kids in HS applying to college think the same about my 4th grade mom problems.

I agree with this. I also don’t really understand how you feel old at 37 with a 3 year old. I’m 38 with a 3 year old and seem at the young end of the middle of the pack for the other parents of 3 year olds, though my 3 year old is my second and it seems like for most of his daycare it is the first child. Whereas with my first, I was 30 when she was born and I am by far the youngest mom in her grade, and was at the daycare too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me, age of mom doesn't matter as much as which kid is it for you. If it's your first versus my second or third, it feels like very different life stages. A FTM at preschool may be fretting about the sugar in the graham crackers and bragging that her kid can read, but I've got a kid in 4th grade so I'm like this so doesn't matter. Though I'm sure some moms with kids in HS applying to college think the same about my 4th grade mom problems.

I agree with this. I also don’t really understand how you feel old at 37 with a 3 year old. I’m 38 with a 3 year old and seem at the young end of the middle of the pack for the other parents of 3 year olds, though my 3 year old is my second and it seems like for most of his daycare it is the first child. Whereas with my first, I was 30 when she was born and I am by far the youngest mom in her grade, and was at the daycare too.

I think it's just the role reversal that I'm not used to! With my oldest I'm learning everything, everything is new, and I am generally youngest. Now with my 3rd I'm like the experienced parent with older kids and I am the older one in actual age too. I know it's helpful to have mom friends at all stages and you can learn from each other! With #3 I'm pretty laid back etc. - like seeing it's not worth it to stress about preschool, etc. (I still toured them and picked one I liked but in general I'm cool with whatever they do there now and I really don't talk to the teachers about any concerns. For ex, if my daughter tells me a kid hit her or something I say - well tell the kid you don't like it, etc. I don't call the teacher to say someone's hitting her or whatever - obviously if it was an extreme situation I would, but not minor usual stuff that I feel like i used to stress about with #1).

I'm friends with everyone of all ages I think. My own grandmother had my mom when she was 46.
I was born when Reagan was president and the only time I feel like I had a real shock about another mom friend's age was when she said she voted for Reagan and I was surprised that was possible. That's the most I've ever really thought about someone else's age.

[Anonymous]

Yeah the other moms only get younger as your kids get older. (You don;t though. You keep getting old.)

[Anonymous]

How can you tell what age parents are? I have a really difficult time determining age unless it comes up in conversation. For what is is worth, I am 43 with 2 & 3 year old DC. I don't think I am the oldest, but I may be! I don't put much thought into it.

[Anonymous]

You are absolutely overthinking this. I had my baby at 38 (DH was 48). Yes, I feel older than some other moms but it's not a topic of conversation among people. DC, and other major metropolitan areas like Boston and New York City, will have older moms than many other places. It's not like we're living in the deep South where people regularly have kids much earlier in their late teens or 20s there's a chance a parent in their 30s or 40s or even 50s would stick out more. Total non-event in DC. Get a grip!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DS’ preschool class some parents are late 40s to mid 50s. Some of them had their first in late 40s

Ummm I don’t think you can have biological kids in late 40s and 50s.

Well, actually my mom had me when she was 44 - dad was 50. And, I have a younger brother too. All natural. IVF was in its infancy then.

[Anonymous]

It happens to us all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the other moms only get younger as your kids get older. (You don;t though. You keep getting old.)

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me, age of mom doesn't matter as much as which kid is it for you. If it's your first versus my second or third, it feels like very different life stages. A FTM at preschool may be fretting about the sugar in the graham crackers and bragging that her kid can read, but I've got a kid in 4th grade so I'm like this so doesn't matter. Though I'm sure some moms with kids in HS applying to college think the same about my 4th grade mom problems.

I agree with this. I also don’t really understand how you feel old at 37 with a 3 year old. I’m 38 with a 3 year old and seem at the young end of the middle of the pack for the other parents of 3 year olds, though my 3 year old is my second and it seems like for most of his daycare it is the first child. Whereas with my first, I was 30 when she was born and I am by far the youngest mom in her grade, and was at the daycare too.

Hmmmmm.

[Anonymous]

My first at 40 and next 2 at 43.

My DH is 12 years younger than me so I alwyas got admiring looks when we were at the park!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, thank you for sharing your every thought that flutters through your brain.

This. How many inane topics do you start on here, OP? Try to make some friends so you have an outlet to air your insecurities.

That’s just mean. Go to bed, grump.

I’ll say that I’m not the oldest mom, but I am between jobs and currently the frumpiest since I’m not putting myself together before drop off or pick up. Oh well. This too shall pass. When I get a job, I’m going to go shopping and get all the makeup, etc.

Lol I’m OP and by the way I’m your friend in frumpiness.

I love a meme I saw the other day that said “my style can best be described as: I wasn’t expecting to get out of the car”