Is your pta welcoming?

[Anonymous]

Our PTA president is not the friendliest person in the world, like she completely ignores me and walks by without saying a word, but everyone else that I've interacted with has been really nice. Maybe just get past the president on to one of the committees.

[Anonymous]

I can’t stand PTA Moms! They are basically very cliquey and gossipy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cool story bro.

Thank you for being Exhibit A with your crappy immature attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are new to a school and the pta board and chairs seem very cliquish. Their kids all know one another and hang out. Pta president is so cold. She will answer your questions but totally unfriendly. Seems almost like a robot.

This describes our current PTA President too. That is her personality and that's how she runs the PTA. She's just not a very nice person. I can't tell you how many times I've heard her talk badly of other parents behind their backs, including the previous PTA President! I've given up on her and now I just try to avoid her.

But we've had very friendly ones in past years.

Please tell us what school.

If they wanted to name the school, they would have already done so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our ES PTA was ridiculous. Super cliquey, exclusive, and competitive, but they would swear up and down that they were sweet and welcoming. I just wrote checks, volunteered directly with the teachers, and steered clear. I wasn’t up for a repeat of my own middle school years.

Same. My husband called them The Yoga Pants Brigade. They moan a lot about having to do SO MUCH because no one will volunteer, but no one seems to want to tell them that no one wants to spend two hours on a Friday being ignored and listening to them disparage everyone not in their clique. If you didn't meet them at Kindergarten Playdate or your kid doesn't do a travel sport with theirs, forget it.

We'll try again in middle school, but, for now, I deal with the teacher, the room parents, and the administration for donations and volunteering.

So true. Its a club for the ugly girls that always wanted to be the pretty girls. And theyre taking their decades old resentment on everyone not part of the clique. You would.not.beleive. the mean, vile, horrible things I have heard 40 year old women spout off about other moms, and worse, their kids.

Thank you girlfriend. Ugly wannabes spouting vile shiiit about people they don't know. Bitter nasty hateful egomanics with a lot of time on their hands. This whole thread is so true and so sad. I need a drink.

Sounds like you’ve had enough already.

Aww, you really tried with this. How precious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

Well that was snide. Perhaps the same winning personality you’ve shown here is why people weren’t interested in chatting you up at the PTA meeting.

You were the one that was snide by dismissing the PP's experience. She just schooled you and your fellow harpies.

She “schooled” no one. Please stop embarrassing yourself. DP

[Anonymous]

I thought the PTA moms at my kids' school were cliquish and insufferable until I started volunteering and they brought me into their fold. I'm a full-time WOHM and most of them are SAHMs or teachers and they still embraced me. Hm. Maybe some of you should try volunteering and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the PTA moms at my kids' school were cliquish and insufferable until I started volunteering and they brought me into their fold. I'm a full-time WOHM and most of them are SAHMs or teachers and they still embraced me. Hm. Maybe some of you should try volunteering and see what happens.

This.

[Anonymous]

When I look back on when my kids were in elementary school (they are long past that now and fully launched), one of my biggest regrets was my over involvement - hell, my being involved at all - in PTA. I was an officer for several years, as was my spouse. What a complete waste of time. I can’t believe I didn’t know better.

The sane parent doesn’t give PTA a second thought. They pay their dues and that’s it. They leave the work and the headaches to the other suckers. And if you really think that the PTA parents AND their kids are some kind of exclusive club and they all hang out together and do cool stuff and shun the other parents and kids and you’re missing out then, wow, you’ve got issues. Especially from the kid standpoint. No kid gives a flying f_ck whose parents are on PTA.

OP, ignore the insanity. You’re better off. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In what context were you ignored? Did you try to talk to people and then walked away from you without acknowledging you? Did they refuse to call on you when you raised your hand with a question during the meeting?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Although, at I was 43 at the time had had enough experience to know when I'm being shown I'm not welcome, I'll respond to your question. When I walked in to the library where the meeting was held, no one acknowledged me even though I made eye contact with several people. They look at me and then their glances 'slid' away. I went to a table where there were 4 people sitting and 3 empty seats. I sat at the table and waited for a pause in the conversation to say hello. When I did, they paused, looked at me, looked at each other and then said hello. They then moved their chairs a little further from me, bringing them closer to each other, made no further effort to speak with me and did not look in my direction the rest of the night. They also did not pass any of the handouts to me and I had to pointedly ask for one of the handouts and had to ask another table for another when they passed the papers to that table without giving me one.

At the next meeting, I sat at a different table with a different group. The behavior was very similar. So, yeah, I was ignored. I didn't bother raising my hand to speak. The next PTA president was radically different and the atmosphere far more encouraging and welcoming.

It’s rather strange to respond to this tread from 2019.

Cringe-worthy, ugh! And these things really do happen. And then they cry about being the only ones who work hard on creating community spirit. It's really a mean girls' magnet for some reason. What I don't understand is where all the money goes. Do you get to see the spreadsheets with spending? Not just the bullet-point list of what they did, but itemized expense sheets.

strange? why? threads get revived all the time. it would have been strange to revive a social distancing thread from 2020, but a general question about pta - why is it strange?

Defensive much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PTA in my child's school is absolutely criminal (lots of missing $$), but everyone is too afraid of them to do anything.

If that's actually true (i.e. there was an audit), then contact the police.

[Anonymous]

You are in control here, OP.

Join for one year, or not.

If there’s a “no fuss fundraiser” with a one time contribution with suggested amounts (usually $100) then submit that and your work is done.

Or, decide you’ll attend one meeting. Go at the beginning of the school year to learn what committee assignments and tasks are available.

Maybe you’ll be disinterested in all but maybe you’ll sign up to do one task.

Not everything w PTA is done collectively; I volunteered for a decade on a project that I spearheaded entirely on my own.

Pro tip: sign up for set up or clean up post-events. Always needed and a great way to meet like-minded helpful types.

If you have an area of expertise, use it! I am highly organized and love visual displays, for example. On behalf of the PTA, I changed our display case in the front hall every month with props, banners, signs. I just saw a need and asked.

[Anonymous]

The PTA at our school was so horrible they drove out a principal, caused parents to move their kids to other schools, and in at least one case drove someone to actually sell their house and move. And that's not just one PTA board - it's various boards over about 10 years. Some years they were OK, even nice, but something about the PTA just seems to attract the worst people, or perhaps bring out the worst in people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the PTA moms at my kids' school were cliquish and insufferable until I started volunteering and they brought me into their fold. I'm a full-time WOHM and most of them are SAHMs or teachers and they still embraced me. Hm. Maybe some of you should try volunteering and see what happens.

So now that you're in the clique, the clique isn't so bad.

That's kind of the definition of a clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PTA in my child's school is absolutely criminal (lots of missing $$), but everyone is too afraid of them to do anything.

If that's actually true (i.e. there was an audit), then contact the police.

Not the PP, but the same happened in my school. It's easy to say contact the police, but imagine a group of people, tight with the principal and even your kid's teacher, threatening that if you try to expose the stolen $ then they will blame you for it and manufacture evidence that you did it. There is a reason people are afraid of these women. A good reason. Trust me, you'd keep your mouth shut too.