marie kondo cleansing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I like the cleansing but it seems super drastic! And to even find it, I need to open them up all to see where in those massive pile the coats are for example. She also didn’t really want me to look. And she said she won’t miss them and won’t ever ask for a replacement nor need a spare. But like for the coats, she had two north faces, one HH, one gap, one Canada goose in there!

Think of the homeless teens for whom those jackets would spark joy. It feels good to do good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify - Canada goose meaning neighbours kid no longer fit and passed to my daughter. My daughter wore it two seasons and now can’t fit herself...

Also, We really don’t need 6 used camelbacks, in our kitchen cabinets. Sure they are not cheap but i don’t think thrift stores wants used water bottles?

Unique will take your used water bottle. Maybe she can say no to more stuff from school or team or whereever she gets the junk. DH gets bags and who knows what else from work. So tired of the crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for some of the useful thoughts some of you. For the judgemental folks, my dd is in the hockey team and she gets tons of giveaways on bags, water bottles coats etc.

So for the coat concerned folks
2 north faces from her annual teams coats
Hellyhanson. I bought it for her since she really liked two years ago and no longer fits

Gap, zipper issues. Doesn’t fit. Haven’t had time to go around fixing it before donating

Canada goose- neighbors daughter coat. Couldn’t fit so gave it to my daughter. She can no longer fit in it any more. Small fray at the sleeves and some seams, not dry cleaned. (Costs $50 bucks = a new coat from Costco) So I don’t think it is worth to dry clean, get it altered and fixed just to donate?

She is not sure if she wants to donate 10 used camelbacks, siggs. They were just used for a month but because it was given out by the summer camp, they wrote her names all over the bottle in sharipies, well used etc. So it’s not that she is deliberately wasting it but rather just have no need for them but yet didn’t think it was good enough to donate because she had used it and had her name written on it etc.

Anyway update got her to agree to sort through again and categorize as trash and donateable. Sweaters yeah, maybe too many and they made it to the donation pile. But does anyone want an unwashed third hand Canada goose that needs fixing? Or a clarinet that no longer plays because a key has dropped off? Or stationery obtained over the years and has 40% ink left? Or do they belong in junk.

I couldn’t quite process the drastic cleansing and surprised she did it right to the minimalist extreme. The only thing is I had to not be present as she didn’t want me to see her sort through them. She kind of felt it was a privacy cleansing that she had to only work through herself. Kinda like the show!

So why were you so upset if most of it didn't fit and you didn't buy it anyway? This is a good thing, OP. Let her grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would make my daughter sort through the things in order to donate them properly. It is extremely wasteful, bad for the environment, and self-indulgent to say oh, my things bother me so much, I must put them in trash bags and get them out of my sight and can't bear the pain of even looking at them again. Same for putting the trash bags in the garage, where they clutter up your life, instead of keeping them in her room until she properly disposes of the items in them. I would certainly help her do this, and validate the importance to her of purging her life of "stuff" if that is meaningful to her, but I wouldn't let her do it in this manner.

I agree. I would want to see what she is getting rid of, so she doesn’t ask for a replacement in the near future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:have a frank talk with her and tell her:
honey- that's great and all, but we are not going shopping to buy you any new stuff for the next 6 months. and I am not replacing anything. are you positive you want to get rid of everything, or maybe keep a few more things?

then stick to it- and don't buy her more.

(and I would secretly take 10-15 items out and save them just in case- or even make her buy them back from you if she changes her mind.)


I like decluttering, but for adults.

Super strange. Decluttering is an awesome skill for a teen to learn. I make my kids go through their things every few months and do a donation and/or trash pile. They’re teens, odd things accumulate, they out grow stuff etc. they love their rooms feeling very organized and clean now but it was a process to reach them to get rid of unneeded or wanted items on a routine basis.

As long as they are not just throwing things in garbage bags instead of organizing and putting things away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to pay my DD $5 per item purged. Also have a rule that a new old in -- requires an old item out. We don't have a large house and don't have room for lots of extra stuff.

What’s a new old? No way would I pay for purged items....you already did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So why were you so upset if most of it didn't fit and you didn't buy it anyway? This is a good thing, OP. Let her grow up.

Yup. Her room was full of stuff that not only didn't spark joy, it didn't even fit. So she sorted it out. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can donate the instrument, even with it missing a key. There are groups that fix them up and give them to schools with low income students.
Some groups will also clean jackets, call around and see if there are any places where you can donate jackets that just need a bit of work. It might cost you $50 to get that jacket cleaned and mended, but a non-profit might have an arrangement with a company that will do it cheaper.

As you find places who'll take things, make a note of it. So when you go through your clothes, and decide your long winter coat from 6 seasons ago isn't "you" anymore, you already know where to take it.

I also have instruments, coats, used waterbottles and stationery! Piles of them collected by my 4 kids and happy to purge. Hope it will give the balance like Marie described!

But the question is Who takes these things? Or do they remain in trash?
I went to a thrift store the other day, and a lady was returning some coats because the zippers were damaged. The store gave her the refund and then dumped the coats in trash. So obviously, those coats won’t be going anywhere.

So I would also love to know who would take these. I have a pile of nice coats too that maybe have a damaged zipper, a grater sleeve because my dd got t her hand caught while at a playground etc. I had hoped to have mended them but the cost of doing it cost much more than a new coat. I might as well buy a pile of new coats for the shelter for example.

I also have a full cupboard of used waterbottles from all these camps my kids go to or win at tournaments. They are used but maybe used during the duration of the summer camp and look decent enough to be used.... like spouts not totally messed up but you can tell they are used. Who would want to drink out of another kids bottle that maybe even have her name written on in marker by camp counsellors!

I find that thrift stores take these stuff but after all the effort of driving it there, sorting it still ends up in the landfill. It ends up being less environmentally friendly in my opinion.

So if someone has a name, let us know!

[Anonymous]

OP based on your follow up it sounds like you DD did exactly the right thing. Who needs things that don't fit, or free junk. It sounds like its mostly donatable, but if there is stuff that should be recycled (plastic water bottles for sure, probably the metal ones too) or trashed (pens, frayed or ripped clothing) then toss it. Get your DD involved in that.

[Anonymous]

You can take the instrument to any MCPS school. They will fix them up, no need to give it to a group first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can take the instrument to any MCPS school. They will fix them up, no need to give it to a group first.

I tried at my local school a few years back. My dd’s clarinet had bad pads and a used mouthpiece. the school teacher took it at first but a few days later returned it to us. Said they couldn’t use it because it was damaged and the pads change wasn’t worth it and the mouthpiece wasn’t good enough for a spare! (Sure, She didn’t like the mouthpiece patch and had very mild teeth scratches but it wasn’t half as bad as what she saw in the school loaner instruments). We tried to then get an enquiry on price but it was like 200 just to get the pads replaced. A new looking less branded refurbished one was $210 at the store! What gives!

So after it hanging around a bit, but when decluttering, we unfortunately had no choice but to trash it.

Sure Marie is great but it leads to waste. But it feels good to not be bogged down by possessions. My take is don’t acquire them!

My kids also had ton of waterbottles but we have seen them selling at the thrift store
Sometimes so used as they are we still gave those to the thrift store.

[Anonymous]

PP with all of the used stuff -- basically, nobody wants that stuff. It will go to the landfill. So if you're worried about that (as I am), the answer is: don't acquire it in the first place.

Say no to the water bottles and the rest of that swag. Buy less stuff and fix what you have.

[Anonymous]

Broken zippers -- basically that means the end of the life of the item. It's usually not worth it to fix a broken zipper.