Curious: Did you/will you have a shower for #2?

[Anonymous]

I think a second shower is lovely. IF and only IF the invitations specifies no gifts. Otherwise, yes, it does kind of skeeve me.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to have a 2nd child 7 years after my first. I don't know the sex of the baby yet but lord knows it doesn't matter because I have NOTHING left over from the first. If anyone wanted to throw me a shower... I would kiss their feet.

[Anonymous]

If I feel a shower or the person being showered is tacky, I just skip it. I only go when I am genuinely happy to be giving someone a gift. Who needs to sit around at a party for two or three hours feeling annoyed? Life's too short. If you don't think the person should be having a shower, simply decline to attend and don't send a gift. The world won't end, I promise.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone will throw me a baby shower, we recently moved, and no friends or family in the area, not even close by... If the situation should be different when we have a second baby at some point, I would be so happy and grateful, and wouldn't see anything wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

I have heard second baby showers referred to as "sprinkles" -- because you are not quite as "showered" with gifts as you are for the first baby and get more of basic necessities or stuff of a baby of different. Don't see a problem with having one if you have a friend that wants to do it, especially if it is casual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know the rudest comments always come from those quoting etiquette and Emily Post. It just seems that "old school" manners have nothing to with kindness, gracious behavior, celebrations, or just doing something nice for something. Its always about judging who is breaking rules, excluding others and felling good about it, and showing off. Sad.

Agree 100%/ People don't seem to remember that the only thing worse than committing a social faux pas is the act of calling someone out on a faux pas...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how people who had second showers always say they were "talked into it" against their will. Who knew there were so many rabid shower-throwers running around holding guns to expectant moms' heads?

When you have friends, they frequently want to throw you showers. Even for your second. I hope that you just don't realize yet that you have such friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your input. So, the guestlist this time was mostly my husband's guy friends. Last time, it was girly and no daddies around. Maybe it is cultural. The friends who have had second baby showers were mostly not Americans. I was a bit insulted by how rude some comments were. We didn't open gifts and didn't expect gifts. Anyway, I feel thankful that I have such caring friends who went out of their way to do this for us. It was a really nice time. I feel even more lucky after having read some of the comments.

I think it's definitely cultural - in our family, the whole family (including men and children) is invited; it's a good time to get a chance to hang out with the parents before a very busy time. I've been to second showers and didn't think anything of it. A nice excuse to get together. Fortunately, people in my family apparently aren't obsessed with Emily Post and have no idea that these family parties are "tacky".

[Anonymous]

I did not have a shower for #2. I still believe it just isn't done. DH and I planned to stop at one, so we had given all of our baby stuff away. I went out and bought it all new again; I would never have let someone have a shower for me for #2. I had two lovely showers for #1 thrown by two different groups of friends. I treasure the memories from those parties; not the "stuff".

[Anonymous]

Had #2 this year (different gender than 2 yr old sibling) and someone threw a shower for me. I was hesitant at first, but it was small. I did NOT register, people mainly brought cute outfits as gifts since it was a boy this time.

[Anonymous]

If a friend really, really wants to throw you another shower, then specify "no gifts." People may still bring a little something for you bundle of joy, but it is more about celebrating him/her that will arrive soon enough. Go for it. But don't register, that would be really tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the rudest comments always come from those quoting etiquette and Emily Post. It just seems that "old school" manners have nothing to with kindness, gracious behavior, celebrations, or just doing something nice for something. Its always about judging who is breaking rules, excluding others and felling good about it, and showing off. Sad.

Agree 100%/ People don't seem to remember that the only thing worse than committing a social faux pas is the act of calling someone out on a faux pas...

Except if they specifically ask your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your input. So, the guestlist this time was mostly my husband's guy friends. Last time, it was girly and no daddies around. Maybe it is cultural. The friends who have had second baby showers were mostly not Americans. I was a bit insulted by how rude some comments were. We didn't open gifts and didn't expect gifts. Anyway, I feel thankful that I have such caring friends who went out of their way to do this for us. It was a really nice time. I feel even more lucky after having read some of the comments.

I think it's definitely cultural - in our family, the whole family (including men and children) is invited; it's a good time to get a chance to hang out with the parents before a very busy time. I've been to second showers and didn't think anything of it. A nice excuse to get together. Fortunately, people in my family apparently aren't obsessed with Emily Post and have no idea that these family parties are "tacky".

If it's just a reason to get together with the family, I think that's great. The tacky part is if you don't tell people not to bring gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how people who had second showers always say they were "talked into it" against their will. Who knew there were so many rabid shower-throwers running around holding guns to expectant moms' heads?

When you have friends, they frequently want to throw you showers. Even for your second. I hope that you just don't realize yet that you have such friends.

My friends respect me enough that if I say I think a second shower is tacky they would not try to force it on me. They offered, in fact, when I had my second, but instead just the four or five of us went out to a nice lunch. It was wonderful to be together and everyone respected my request not to get gifts. I had plenty of stuff left over from # 1 and I can buy my own baby wipes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have heard second baby showers referred to as "sprinkles" -- because you are not quite as "showered" with gifts as you are for the first baby and get more of basic necessities or stuff of a baby of different. Don't see a problem with having one if you have a friend that wants to do it, especially if it is casual.

This is a nice thing to do for a mom who is financially struggling. Personally it seems awkward to me if that's not the case. If someone wants to take it upon themselves to buy or make something cute and special for my baby, I would totally appreciate it, but I would feel weird if someone bought me stuff like diapers and wipes. I would feel doubly weird having a party thrown for me so people could buy me that stuff. I'm far from rich but I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with # 2 and 3 if I couldn't afford the basics.