"My observation is that the kids in my son's high school landed where they should."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My super stat DD is at our state flagship honors college. There's no doubt that if we had been full pay she would be somewhere else - first she could have applied ED at her top choice and we also could have applied some places we didn't - think top 20-30 - and some of the rejections and waitlists likely would have fallen the other way. I can tell by the admits from the public HS she attended - there's no doubt. Frankly, the data shows that she would have been much better off being a star athlete that a star academic.

It breaks my heart a little bit as she earned it I just couldn't afford it. And in the life the social connections of those schools to which she was not admitted will matter but I also believe in my daughter and that she will bloom where she is planted. And I think she will be alot less cuddled so in early 20's when she is starting her career she will be formidable and I believe hiring managers will see that. It's a matter of getting those first interviews but as they say persistence beats resistance. And if she decides on med school well then we be grateful we didn't take out the undergraduate loans.

That said, perhaps sour grapes, but there is a certain sense of entitlement/privilege that I sense in the original poster. Full pay is a hook and ED is the filter.

+1

I went to an Ivy bc that is where you went if you were smart at my east coast private school. I had access to those so-called vaunted social connections but I found most of those people meh. I made a close set of friends at my Ivy but we all were people who swam against the social stream (my best friend went to boarding school, joined the so-called cool sorority as a freshman but dropped out bc the ppl were not her scene). Ppl at my college couldnt wait to get to NYC and work for wall street. I came to DC and sought a career in public service and have a raft of friends from mid-western flagship colleges. They were the middle class kids and this was where smart kids from their schools went. They are dynamic people, smart, outgoing and hardworking; they all have terrific careers. Ivies (or equivalent colleges) are not everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RISD - home of Scrotie the mascot.

RISD is elite, those in the know know its caliber. And I believe RISD kids can take classes at Brown. The RISD kids mix with Brown kids too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My super stat DD is at our state flagship honors college. There's no doubt that if we had been full pay she would be somewhere else - first she could have applied ED at her top choice and we also could have applied some places we didn't - think top 20-30 - and some of the rejections and waitlists likely would have fallen the other way. I can tell by the admits from the public HS she attended - there's no doubt. Frankly, the data shows that she would have been much better off being a star athlete that a star academic.

It breaks my heart a little bit as she earned it I just couldn't afford it. And in the life the social connections of those schools to which she was not admitted will matter but I also believe in my daughter and that she will bloom where she is planted. And I think she will be alot less cuddled so in early 20's when she is starting her career she will be formidable and I believe hiring managers will see that. It's a matter of getting those first interviews but as they say persistence beats resistance. And if she decides on med school well then we be grateful we didn't take out the undergraduate loans.

That said, perhaps sour grapes, but there is a certain sense of entitlement/privilege that I sense in the original poster. Full pay is a hook and ED is the filter.

+1

As long as the DD is having fun, getting decent professors and getting the classes she needs, the state flagship is probably comparable to someplacee like Washington University or Northwestern, and the students she actually hangs out with are probably kids who are comparable to kids at the top private schools.

I think that, especially in their regions, the big state flagships have better recognition with the general public than most of the fancy private schools, anyway.

The real reason to focus on private schools is if your state flagship is expensive or weak, or just too big or culturally inappropriate to suit the student.

[Anonymous]

The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

DP. I think that’s largely true. Super smart kids are going to want to go to a college with other super smart kids and that’s not big state u.....not even the honors college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

DP. I think that’s largely true. Super smart kids are going to want to go to a college with other super smart kids and that’s not big state u.....not even the honors college.

Wow. And you folks are calling the owner of the original comment elitist and smug??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

I mean, what do you say to such BS?

I was that super smart kid that turned down an Ivy (Harvard) to go to my state flagship because I didn't want my parents to go into debt for my schooling. I loved my time there. Sure, some of the academics were easy. But certainly there were challenging classes.

Went on to a highly competitive grad school (ranked #1 in my field).

I am certainly not alone...

Smartest kid I ever met was from my state university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

DP. I think that’s largely true. Super smart kids are going to want to go to a college with other super smart kids and that’s not big state u.....not even the honors college.

LOLOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

I mean, what do you say to such BS?

I was that super smart kid that turned down an Ivy (Harvard) to go to my state flagship because I didn't want my parents to go into debt for my schooling. I loved my time there. Sure, some of the academics were easy. But certainly there were challenging classes.

Went on to a highly competitive grad school (ranked #1 in my field).

I am certainly not alone...

Smartest kid I ever met was from my state university.

(Some of my ivy classes were easy, too. Plenty of unimpressive students there, too.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

DP. I think that’s largely true. Super smart kids are going to want to go to a college with other super smart kids and that’s not big state u.....not even the honors college.

LOL again. Are you really this naive?

Do you think half the Blair magnet goes to UMD-CP because they couldn't get into elite schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

I mean, what do you say to such BS?

I was that super smart kid that turned down an Ivy (Harvard) to go to my state flagship because I didn't want my parents to go into debt for my schooling. I loved my time there. Sure, some of the academics were easy. But certainly there were challenging classes.

Went on to a highly competitive grad school (ranked #1 in my field).

I am certainly not alone...

Smartest kid I ever met was from my state university.

If true, outlier, possibly insecure outlier who feared hyper-competitive Ivy. Either way, exception, not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The smart kids who didn't end up at elite top 20 colleges never genuinely wanted it, it was the parents pushing it or kid only wanted it for shallow reasons.

Smart self-driven ambitious kids find a way. Even if that means going to UVA for a year and transferring.

Super smart kids find public universities miserable.

LOL

DP. I think that’s largely true. Super smart kids are going to want to go to a college with other super smart kids and that’s not big state u.....not even the honors college.

LOL again. Are you really this naive?

Do you think half the Blair magnet goes to UMD-CP because they couldn't get into elite schools?

Not every kid is wired the same. Lots of kids have a fear of being too far from home. Lots of kids need their high school clique.

[Anonymous]

Well, not all of the kids in my son's TJ graduating class could get into MIT, Cal Tech, or GA Tech, so some of them had to go elsewhere, I guess....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My super stat DD is at our state flagship honors college. There's no doubt that if we had been full pay she would be somewhere else - first she could have applied ED at her top choice and we also could have applied some places we didn't - think top 20-30 - and some of the rejections and waitlists likely would have fallen the other way. I can tell by the admits from the public HS she attended - there's no doubt. Frankly, the data shows that she would have been much better off being a star athlete that a star academic.

It breaks my heart a little bit as she earned it I just couldn't afford it. And in the life the social connections of those schools to which she was not admitted will matter but I also believe in my daughter and that she will bloom where she is planted. And I think she will be alot less cuddled so in early 20's when she is starting her career she will be formidable and I believe hiring managers will see that. It's a matter of getting those first interviews but as they say persistence beats resistance. And if she decides on med school well then we be grateful we didn't take out the undergraduate loans.

That said, perhaps sour grapes, but there is a certain sense of entitlement/privilege that I sense in the original poster. Full pay is a hook and ED is the filter.

You know the research shows she will do just as well as if she had gone to the more expensive choice?

I do and thank you for taking the time to post a supportive response. There is value to the networks of the elite colleges so I am somewhat sensitive to that having witnessed that first hand. I will say what has been the most surprising is the quality of her classmates in the honors program. There are some highly driven kids in that cohort. My take is that it is somewhat socio-economic but there are some very talented, driven students, and while they may lack the networks and the inherent confidence that comes from having that safety net of a strong family network my take alot of these kids are going to go far and will be competing for the top grad school spots. It will be interesting to see. I know at a couple of the honors programs the average stats were pretty damn impressive. And that all said I would like for my DD to have a enjoyable college experience and the rest will work itself out.

But thank you again for the kindness in your sentiment.

You are welcome.

I have an ivy degree. Network never did anything for me. I have a PhD from a top ten program in my field. That network helped some, but at this point it is really all about me and what I do or don't do.

Good luck to your child.