Looking for recs on mainstream privates that are inclusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an educational consultant. As
Social demands increase so do kids like this appear more autistic. And OP, my gosh, of course you disclose the diagnois. The applications ask. What would you do, lie? That’s honestly wild to me. I can’t imagine doing that to my child.

If your kid ness supports you need a good iep or a special needs school. There may be one offs etc. but why not just go with the best known fit? Just so you can say it’s a monsteram private? I’d explore that carefully.

Thanks. She said her child had been admittted so I asked if she disclosed. I wanted to know whether the school admitted knowing the kids status. That’s all. Pleas don’t read more into my question.

Also, some kids are admitted before getting a diagnosis so it is important to ask when the kid got the diagnosis. Some schools will work with a kid who is already at the school but would not admit a kid with a known diagnosis.

Often on admissions they have people who have plenty of experience with kids and they will likely be able to at least have a hypothesis that say a kid is on the spectrum. If it does not appear in the paperwork, you wonder if the parent is either hiding something or completely out to lunch (given that the kid is an age where it should have been picked up). You are always better off being honest and not hiding anything no matter how you explain it to yourself. Plenty of kids get counseled out who came in without a diagnosis, but clearly needed more help than the school could give. You want to set your kid up for success. By being honest you show the school you are the type of parent who is a team player and who truly cares about finding the right match.

Thank you. Again I’m not seeking guidance on whether to disclose - that was never an issue for us. I’m asking for recommendations on specific mainstream schools that are inclusive, willing to do some basic accommodations and preferably have a strong SEL program. Much appreciated!

Oops...my bad. Sorry. I don't know what SEL is but Flint Hill used to accommodate some, but I think that was more for dyslexia and mild ADHD. Was Burgany Farms mentioned? I think Lowell has been mentioned. McLean School (in MD)?

[Anonymous]

And also, thank you to everyone for taking time to read the request and to formulate thoughtful responses!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an educational consultant. As
Social demands increase so do kids like this appear more autistic. And OP, my gosh, of course you disclose the diagnois. The applications ask. What would you do, lie? That’s honestly wild to me. I can’t imagine doing that to my child.

If your kid ness supports you need a good iep or a special needs school. There may be one offs etc. but why not just go with the best known fit? Just so you can say it’s a monsteram private? I’d explore that carefully.

Thanks. She said her child had been admittted so I asked if she disclosed. I wanted to know whether the school admitted knowing the kids status. That’s all. Pleas don’t read more into my question.

Also, some kids are admitted before getting a diagnosis so it is important to ask when the kid got the diagnosis. Some schools will work with a kid who is already at the school but would not admit a kid with a known diagnosis.

Often on admissions they have people who have plenty of experience with kids and they will likely be able to at least have a hypothesis that say a kid is on the spectrum. If it does not appear in the paperwork, you wonder if the parent is either hiding something or completely out to lunch (given that the kid is an age where it should have been picked up). You are always better off being honest and not hiding anything no matter how you explain it to yourself. Plenty of kids get counseled out who came in without a diagnosis, but clearly needed more help than the school could give. You want to set your kid up for success. By being honest you show the school you are the type of parent who is a team player and who truly cares about finding the right match.

Can you stay on point? OP is not saying she isn't disclosing. She is asking for suggestions and experiences. We had a good experience until our child aged out at a mainstream private.

[Anonymous]

Burgundy Farms may work. I would see what the public schools are going to offer you. If there are issues and there may well be, these privates are going to counsel you out and keep your deposit. That is going to suck. For you and your son. Move if that is what it takes, but sometimes, less great schools are better for sped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re applying to K for DS for 2019. We’re very close-in NOVA. DS has ASD Level 1 provisional diagnosis. Preschool says he probably would not qualify for IEP. He has above average IQ and strong verbal skills. Socially a little awkward. Has some mild anxiety. Thoughts on placement based on your past experience or others’ that you know personally? Thank you.

I know a TON of kids with this exact profile at Maddux and with IEPs. You are really downplaying your kids' needs here. You don't need to have a below average IQ to get an IEP. Internalize that. You are being extremely dismissive while asking for advice and experiences. Most kids have average to above IQs. Because they are average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re applying to K for DS for 2019. We’re very close-in NOVA. DS has ASD Level 1 provisional diagnosis. Preschool says he probably would not qualify for IEP. He has above average IQ and strong verbal skills. Socially a little awkward. Has some mild anxiety. Thoughts on placement based on your past experience or others’ that you know personally? Thank you.

I know a TON of kids with this exact profile at Maddux and with IEPs. You are really downplaying your kids' needs here. You don't need to have a below average IQ to get an IEP. Internalize that. You are being extremely dismissive while asking for advice and experiences. Most kids have average to above IQs. Because they are average.

Oh and if you're in Alexandria, we didn't qualify for Child Find and still got an IEP for K.

[Anonymous]

OP, I really hope you're spending an equal amount of time pursuing an IEP and investigating the public options in your area. Because dollars to donuts, your child will not be accepted to a private, and if they are, will not thrive there. (SN privates aside.) It's *easier* to qualify a young child for an IEP with ASD, because K is exactly when social skills and academic skills most strongly intersect. If your child actually has ASD, then they will have problems learning through social cues and "group think" - which will mean they can't be successful in Kindergarten, where it's very important to learn to follow rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re applying to K for DS for 2019. We’re very close-in NOVA. DS has ASD Level 1 provisional diagnosis. Preschool says he probably would not qualify for IEP. He has above average IQ and strong verbal skills. Socially a little awkward. Has some mild anxiety. Thoughts on placement based on your past experience or others’ that you know personally? Thank you.

I know a TON of kids with this exact profile at Maddux and with IEPs. You are really downplaying your kids' needs here. You don't need to have a below average IQ to get an IEP. Internalize that. You are being extremely dismissive while asking for advice and experiences. Most kids have average to above IQs. Because they are average.

yep, and this is why proper supports are so important for the "above average" IQ kids with autism! They LEARN differently, and they won't be able to develop their strengths if they are not properly supported. However I would not call OP dismissive since she's willing to consider SN privates and knows that the child needs accomodations. I think she's just naive about private schools, and not informed about IEPs at publics. That's fine, we all have to start somewhere!

[Anonymous]

Can you move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a positive experience at a mainstream private?

NP. No. We too "thought" DS would be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To avoid confusion, let me offer the following additional info.

We have a consultant and a neuropsychologist helping us. We’re doing additional testing too. We want the school to know exactly what they’re getting. We are not zoned for a good school and there is not a good transfer option. We’ve already looked into the options w the school district. We didn’t qualify for services from Child Find back when we tried. The person at the preschool has some idea what she’s talking about re IEP eligibility because she was heavily involved in the public school IEP process for our district for kids this age in her prior job. Child is very bright - been tested for that already and will be again.

We have four high-quality SN schools on our list — toured some of them already — but they are each one hell of a drive to get to. We would prefer not having kiddo spend 1.5 hours in the car each day and instead on the playground or in social skills classes, etc.

I’m on DCUM wanting to hear from folks who have real-world experience w mainstream schools that can speak positively or negatively and specifically, preferably w names of schools. Consultants etc are great but I’d like to hear from parents too — in fact, parents recs mean a lot!

Hope that helps. TIA for any info you can provide.

Kids who are very bright can get an IEP. IQ is not a barrier for an IEP. If your son has an ASD diagnosis, is very bright, and you think you may want to consider public schools, I urge you to get an IEP in preschool. For those kids who do well academically, you want to get an IEP sooner rather than later because some schools will consider "good grades" a barrier to an IEP even if the law says "educational impact" rather than only academic impact for an IEP.

My DS who is 11 with ASD/ADHD attended a Mandarin immersion public charter school for prek4-5 with an IEP and had a great experience. He is very bright and a top nationally ranked chess player. His IEP was always mainly about social communication supports with some OT. Academically, he did just fine fully mainstreamed. For middle school, DS is going to a SN school with a bunch of other very bright kids who need similar social supports.

DS was diagnosed when he was 4 but prior to that he had gotten into some mainstream well known privates. At 2, DS passed as NT. We chose the charter because we wanted DS to learn Mandarin (we don't know it). Looking back, it was the right choice for DS. We plan on sending DS to a mainstream private middle school for the later part of middle school and having him repeat a grade. DS has a summer birthday and was not red shirted which makes him younger and less mature than most kids who go to private school.

The main thing I would look for in a school, public or private, for a kid with this profile is small class size. For K at our charter, the ratio was 17 kids with a teacher, assistant teacher and a bilingual sp ed teacher. The kids changed classrooms depending on whether it was Chinese or English day. I doubt any mainsteam private school in this area could beat that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To avoid confusion, let me offer the following additional info.

We have a consultant and a neuropsychologist helping us. We’re doing additional testing too. We want the school to know exactly what they’re getting. We are not zoned for a good school and there is not a good transfer option. We’ve already looked into the options w the school district. We didn’t qualify for services from Child Find back when we tried. The person at the preschool has some idea what she’s talking about re IEP eligibility because she was heavily involved in the public school IEP process for our district for kids this age in her prior job. Child is very bright - been tested for that already and will be again.

We have four high-quality SN schools on our list — toured some of them already — but they are each one hell of a drive to get to. We would prefer not having kiddo spend 1.5 hours in the car each day and instead on the playground or in social skills classes, etc.

I’m on DCUM wanting to hear from folks who have real-world experience w mainstream schools that can speak positively or negatively and specifically, preferably w names of schools. Consultants etc are great but I’d like to hear from parents too — in fact, parents recs mean a lot!

Hope that helps. TIA for any info you can provide.

Kids who are very bright can get an IEP. IQ is not a barrier for an IEP. If your son has an ASD diagnosis, is very bright, and you think you may want to consider public schools, I urge you to get an IEP in preschool. For those kids who do well academically, you want to get an IEP sooner rather than later because some schools will consider "good grades" a barrier to an IEP even if the law says "educational impact" rather than only academic impact for an IEP.

My DS who is 11 with ASD/ADHD attended a Mandarin immersion public charter school for prek4-5 with an IEP and had a great experience. He is very bright and a top nationally ranked chess player. His IEP was always mainly about social communication supports with some OT. Academically, he did just fine fully mainstreamed. For middle school, DS is going to a SN school with a bunch of other very bright kids who need similar social supports.

DS was diagnosed when he was 4 but prior to that he had gotten into some mainstream well known privates. At 2, DS passed as NT. We chose the charter because we wanted DS to learn Mandarin (we don't know it). Looking back, it was the right choice for DS. We plan on sending DS to a mainstream private middle school for the later part of middle school and having him repeat a grade. DS has a summer birthday and was not red shirted which makes him younger and less mature than most kids who go to private school.

The main thing I would look for in a school, public or private, for a kid with this profile is small class size. For K at our charter, the ratio was 17 kids with a teacher, assistant teacher and a bilingual sp ed teacher. The kids changed classrooms depending on whether it was Chinese or English day. I doubt any mainsteam private school in this area could beat that.

I want to add that my DS likes his new SN school better than his old public charter elementary: We had topped out with supports w/IEP at our public school (and DS had friends, his posse, there) but the SN school just "gets" him better and he feels much more comfortable there even though it is a new school for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really hope you're spending an equal amount of time pursuing an IEP and investigating the public options in your area. Because dollars to donuts, your child will not be accepted to a private, and if they are, will not thrive there. (SN privates aside.) It's *easier* to qualify a young child for an IEP with ASD, because K is exactly when social skills and academic skills most strongly intersect. If your child actually has ASD, then they will have problems learning through social cues and "group think" - which will mean they can't be successful in Kindergarten, where it's very important to learn to follow rules.

Actually if they are in a good preschool, they should know how to follow rules. My child thrived in a small private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re applying to K for DS for 2019. We’re very close-in NOVA. DS has ASD Level 1 provisional diagnosis. Preschool says he probably would not qualify for IEP. He has above average IQ and strong verbal skills. Socially a little awkward. Has some mild anxiety. Thoughts on placement based on your past experience or others’ that you know personally? Thank you.

I know a TON of kids with this exact profile at Maddux and with IEPs. You are really downplaying your kids' needs here. You don't need to have a below average IQ to get an IEP. Internalize that. You are being extremely dismissive while asking for advice and experiences. Most kids have average to above IQs. Because they are average.

yep, and this is why proper supports are so important for the "above average" IQ kids with autism! They LEARN differently, and they won't be able to develop their strengths if they are not properly supported. However I would not call OP dismissive since she's willing to consider SN privates and knows that the child needs accomodations. I think she's just naive about private schools, and not informed about IEPs at publics. That's fine, we all have to start somewhere!

It really depends on the child and their needs. Mine did better no IEP in a small private. We switched to public with an IEP and child did well but the IEP was not helpful and the teachers didn't get my child nor helped in any way like the private teachers did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have four high-quality SN schools on our list — toured some of them already — but they are each one hell of a drive to get to. We would prefer not having kiddo spend 1.5 hours in the car each day and instead on the playground or in social skills classes, etc.

We have a child at one of the SN schools mentioned, and, while it's a drive for us, it has served our child far better than any social skills class ever had. We did three years of social skills therapy, and the first month of the SN private did more than that - people commented about it, the improvement was so obvious. Because social skills therapy is integrated into the classroom and every part of the day, it's more effective. We also carpool, so we're not making 10 trips/week, and the kid gets home in time to have at least 2 hours of daylight every day.

Don't get me wrong - it's insanely expensive, the commute does suck, and there is benefit to time with peers who don't have similar issues. But SN school for a high-functioning, brigh ASD kid has been a life-changer for us.

Just my $0.02.