16 year old in hotel alone?

[Anonymous]

Those who are opposed-- do you have a red shirted 16 year old high school freshman who you held back to play lacrosse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to college in Williamsburg at 16.
Gasp. Alone.

I'll bet you had your own dorm room, too. That is an entirely different scenario than renting a hotel room and leaving a bunch of kids unaccompanied and in violation of hotel rules.

My own kid could have started college early, too. That isn't the same thing as purposely dropping your HS kids off at a hotel room so that they can go to college parties.

[Anonymous]

As a high school administrator I will tell you- 16 year old in a hotel room by themselves is a party (weed, alcohol and other stuff). That is all. No 16 year old cares about going to Colonial Williamsburg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do believe the adult who rents the hotel room can be civilly and criminally liable for any illegal activities that occur in the room. Underage drinking, drugs, sexual assault, nuisance, etc., if t happens in the hotel room then it’s on the OP. Just like parents that allow drinking and parties by teenagers in their house.

No way, don’t be this dumb. What 16 year old is dying to spend an entire weekend in Colonial Williamsburg? Wake up.

Geez, it's like you people have never met a geek. I would have loved that when I was 16! The most I would have done is maybe watched a R-rated movie on HBO. And I also can't believe you folks never leave a teenager unattended in a hotel room. Really? For the record, I am always one that is firmly opposed to these dumb "senior weeks" and such where the kids all go off to the beach with a lot of random kids you don't know. I think this is totally different. It's one night, with a close friend, at a place where they have a geeky interest. When I was a year older than that, I was touring colleges by myself.
Although, OP, if your kid is not a history geek and it seems surprising to you that she would want to hang out in C.W. for 2 days for legit historical research, then I would totally change my opinion, as in those circumstances I would agree that they are probably going to a party at W&M.

I am a totally history geek and I have loved Williamsburg since I was a kid. But I also went to plenty of wild frat parties and hooked up with my fair share of college guys when I was in college. I was a young adult who went to that school, though. I wasn't a kid being dropped off at frat party for a "play date".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we were parents of one of the other girls and we found out you did this, we probably would report you to law enforcement or CPS. My husband and I would be very angry with you. It is one thing for you to do this to your kid (it is wrong but it is your choice to make); it is entirely another thing to do it to someone else's kid.

On what grounds? CPS wouldn't care. 16 year olds are allowed to be left alone; they are even allowed to be the responsible person watching younger kids. And as for the cops, violating hotel rules isn't criminal offense and this is hardly kidnapping.

No hotel policy would allow for minor children to be left alone in a hotel room like that. Sorry.

If the hotel deactivates the room key and will not reactivate it until the ADULT who actually rented the room shows up....that'll be a problem for those kids. Even if another parent drives there in the middle of the night to get their kid they probably won't be able to get their kid's stuff out of the room. They'll have to wait around for the "host parent" to finally show up and by that point I would imagine that the kids and the other parents will be furious at the host parent for being such a careless jackazz and putting them all in that situation.

This night 'o fun could so easily turn nightmarish. Suppose the kids "only" wind up getting drunk and shacking up with guys they met at a party? So much could go wrong there, too.

This is a hard no, Op. They'll be college age before you know it, don't rush it. Let them enjoy being 16.

Nothing you said remotely answers my question. The PP I was responding to (maybe you, maybe someone else) said she would call CPS or the cops. I asked on what grounds and pointed out that violating hotel policies isn't illegal or something CPS would address.

You post about hotel policies and potential negative outcomes from letting kids do this is an entirely different issue.

Contributing to the delinquency of minors might indeed matter to CPS and the police, Op.

DP. What kind of world do you live in? Or do you actually live in a drone where you watch your kids non stop, helicopter parents have nothing on you. BTW, my then 16 year old went to plenty of sport games on his own. Stayed in B&Bs, with friends, never caused any trouble, never had police called. I leave house for couple of hours, my DD throws a party. Do you ever leave your teens alone, ever? Kids will be kids, they get in trouble, they get in trouble, you droning over them will just make you insane and them incapable of living on their own. Rules that many hotels have for 18 years old not allowing them to stay alone are probably illegal. I bet you I sue them for discrimination, I might win.

New poster here.

Regarding the bold: Go for it, PP! Sue those hotels, please. Maybe doing so will give you an outlet for your anger, though it won't change a thing. How often do you actually stay in hotels? Chains almost always list .18 and older as "adult" guests and under 18 as "child" guests. Try putting in anything below 18 as the person responsible for a room and the reservation system will tell you no. If there were some "probably illegal" issue with under-18s staying in hotels alone, less rage-filled heads than yours would already have challenged it.

To OP, even if your DD is a history nut with sensible friends and they really do want to go to Williamsburg for the history (and my own DC is like that so yeah, those kids are out there) -- don't dump them there. Go with them at a time when it works for you. The most well-behaved teen in the world, who would not go a college party or drink etc., could still end up in situations for which she and her friends aren't prepared, even if those situations are as simple (but embarrassing) as being told by a hotel they have to call their parents to pick them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Can I check them in and then leave??

Yes, of course you can. If you do, realize that you will be liable for anything that goes wrong. Also, make sure the other girls’ parents are cool with the plan. Have you considered an AirBnB that might not require you to be physically present at check-in? Some of them handle the whole transaction remotely. But there, too, you’re taking on a lot of liability should those girls decide to throw a party or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a high school administrator I will tell you- 16 year old in a hotel room by themselves is a party (weed, alcohol and other stuff). That is all. No 16 year old cares about going to Colonial Williamsburg.

Was just thinking that no teenager wants to go there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Can I check them in and then leave??

Sure, if you want to teach them and support the idea that the rules don't apply to them.

This pretty much sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do believe the adult who rents the hotel room can be civilly and criminally liable for any illegal activities that occur in the room. Underage drinking, drugs, sexual assault, nuisance, etc., if t happens in the hotel room then it’s on the OP. Just like parents that allow drinking and parties by teenagers in their house.

No way, don’t be this dumb. What 16 year old is dying to spend an entire weekend in Colonial Williamsburg? Wake up.

Geez, it's like you people have never met a geek. I would have loved that when I was 16! The most I would have done is maybe watched a R-rated movie on HBO. And I also can't believe you folks never leave a teenager unattended in a hotel room. Really? For the record, I am always one that is firmly opposed to these dumb "senior weeks" and such where the kids all go off to the beach with a lot of random kids you don't know. I think this is totally different. It's one night, with a close friend, at a place where they have a geeky interest. When I was a year older than that, I was touring colleges by myself.
Although, OP, if your kid is not a history geek and it seems surprising to you that she would want to hang out in C.W. for 2 days for legit historical research, then I would totally change my opinion, as in those circumstances I would agree that they are probably going to a party at W&M.

Meet real. Have you ever been to CW? Being a history buff is one thing but I have never heard of a geeky colonial time history buff. CW isn’t even that big, just a few blocks, with re-enactment actors showing us colonial times with colonial food. And it’s 3 hours away at best. So op is going to drive 6 hours round trip to check them in and hen 6 hours round trip to pick them up? Da fuq are you smoking?

[Anonymous]

I stayed in hotels alone or with friends all the time from 16-18, but this was in Europe so the rules are probably different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we were parents of one of the other girls and we found out you did this, we probably would report you to law enforcement or CPS. My husband and I would be very angry with you. It is one thing for you to do this to your kid (it is wrong but it is your choice to make); it is entirely another thing to do it to someone else's kid.

On what grounds? CPS wouldn't care. 16 year olds are allowed to be left alone; they are even allowed to be the responsible person watching younger kids. And as for the cops, violating hotel rules isn't criminal offense and this is hardly kidnapping.

No hotel policy would allow for minor children to be left alone in a hotel room like that. Sorry.

If the hotel deactivates the room key and will not reactivate it until the ADULT who actually rented the room shows up....that'll be a problem for those kids. Even if another parent drives there in the middle of the night to get their kid they probably won't be able to get their kid's stuff out of the room. They'll have to wait around for the "host parent" to finally show up and by that point I would imagine that the kids and the other parents will be furious at the host parent for being such a careless jackazz and putting them all in that situation.

This night 'o fun could so easily turn nightmarish. Suppose the kids "only" wind up getting drunk and shacking up with guys they met at a party? So much could go wrong there, too.

This is a hard no, Op. They'll be college age before you know it, don't rush it. Let them enjoy being 16.

Nothing you said remotely answers my question. The PP I was responding to (maybe you, maybe someone else) said she would call CPS or the cops. I asked on what grounds and pointed out that violating hotel policies isn't illegal or something CPS would address.

You post about hotel policies and potential negative outcomes from letting kids do this is an entirely different issue.

Contributing to the delinquency of minors might indeed matter to CPS and the police, Op.

DP. What kind of world do you live in? Or do you actually live in a drone where you watch your kids non stop, helicopter parents have nothing on you. BTW, my then 16 year old went to plenty of sport games on his own. Stayed in B&Bs, with friends, never caused any trouble, never had police called. I leave house for couple of hours, my DD throws a party. Do you ever leave your teens alone, ever? Kids will be kids, they get in trouble, they get in trouble, you droning over them will just make you insane and them incapable of living on their own. Rules that many hotels have for 18 years old not allowing them to stay alone are probably illegal. I bet you I sue them for discrimination, I might win.

Purposely driving your kid 3 hours away, checking them into a hotel under your name and then taking off while they......?? Go to frat parties? Tailgate at football games?? Shack up with hot college guys?

Come on...let's not play dumb.

Nobody is dumb. Teens are teens, I did plenty of partying in the 80s and turned out ok. Don't you think your attitude is why we have young adults who don't know how to do anything on their own? How far is this control going to go? And then you are surprised when they live at home till 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we were parents of one of the other girls and we found out you did this, we probably would report you to law enforcement or CPS. My husband and I would be very angry with you. It is one thing for you to do this to your kid (it is wrong but it is your choice to make); it is entirely another thing to do it to someone else's kid.

On what grounds? CPS wouldn't care. 16 year olds are allowed to be left alone; they are even allowed to be the responsible person watching younger kids. And as for the cops, violating hotel rules isn't criminal offense and this is hardly kidnapping.

No hotel policy would allow for minor children to be left alone in a hotel room like that. Sorry.

If the hotel deactivates the room key and will not reactivate it until the ADULT who actually rented the room shows up....that'll be a problem for those kids. Even if another parent drives there in the middle of the night to get their kid they probably won't be able to get their kid's stuff out of the room. They'll have to wait around for the "host parent" to finally show up and by that point I would imagine that the kids and the other parents will be furious at the host parent for being such a careless jackazz and putting them all in that situation.

This night 'o fun could so easily turn nightmarish. Suppose the kids "only" wind up getting drunk and shacking up with guys they met at a party? So much could go wrong there, too.

This is a hard no, Op. They'll be college age before you know it, don't rush it. Let them enjoy being 16.

Nothing you said remotely answers my question. The PP I was responding to (maybe you, maybe someone else) said she would call CPS or the cops. I asked on what grounds and pointed out that violating hotel policies isn't illegal or something CPS would address.

You post about hotel policies and potential negative outcomes from letting kids do this is an entirely different issue.

Contributing to the delinquency of minors might indeed matter to CPS and the police, Op.

DP. What kind of world do you live in? Or do you actually live in a drone where you watch your kids non stop, helicopter parents have nothing on you. BTW, my then 16 year old went to plenty of sport games on his own. Stayed in B&Bs, with friends, never caused any trouble, never had police called. I leave house for couple of hours, my DD throws a party. Do you ever leave your teens alone, ever? Kids will be kids, they get in trouble, they get in trouble, you droning over them will just make you insane and them incapable of living on their own. Rules that many hotels have for 18 years old not allowing them to stay alone are probably illegal. I bet you I sue them for discrimination, I might win.

New poster here.

Regarding the bold: Go for it, PP! Sue those hotels, please. Maybe doing so will give you an outlet for your anger, though it won't change a thing. How often do you actually stay in hotels? Chains almost always list .18 and older as "adult" guests and under 18 as "child" guests. Try putting in anything below 18 as the person responsible for a room and the reservation system will tell you no. If there were some "probably illegal" issue with under-18s staying in hotels alone, less rage-filled heads than yours would already have challenged it.

To OP, even if your DD is a history nut with sensible friends and they really do want to go to Williamsburg for the history (and my own DC is like that so yeah, those kids are out there) -- don't dump them there. Go with them at a time when it works for you. The most well-behaved teen in the world, who would not go a college party or drink etc., could still end up in situations for which she and her friends aren't prepared, even if those situations are as simple (but embarrassing) as being told by a hotel they have to call their parents to pick them up.

No, most hotels do not allow people under 21 to stay alone in the US. Differs by a hotel. That is what I take an issue with. I know this is for their own, hotels, protection, but my DS has been refused at a hotel and he is 19 years old. Can vote, can buy a gun,can serve in the military, but can't drink and stay in a hotel alone. Something is really, really wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stayed in hotels alone or with friends all the time from 16-18, but this was in Europe so the rules are probably different.

Kids are the same. American Parents just infantilize their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we were parents of one of the other girls and we found out you did this, we probably would report you to law enforcement or CPS. My husband and I would be very angry with you. It is one thing for you to do this to your kid (it is wrong but it is your choice to make); it is entirely another thing to do it to someone else's kid.

On what grounds? CPS wouldn't care. 16 year olds are allowed to be left alone; they are even allowed to be the responsible person watching younger kids. And as for the cops, violating hotel rules isn't criminal offense and this is hardly kidnapping.

No hotel policy would allow for minor children to be left alone in a hotel room like that. Sorry.

If the hotel deactivates the room key and will not reactivate it until the ADULT who actually rented the room shows up....that'll be a problem for those kids. Even if another parent drives there in the middle of the night to get their kid they probably won't be able to get their kid's stuff out of the room. They'll have to wait around for the "host parent" to finally show up and by that point I would imagine that the kids and the other parents will be furious at the host parent for being such a careless jackazz and putting them all in that situation.

This night 'o fun could so easily turn nightmarish. Suppose the kids "only" wind up getting drunk and shacking up with guys they met at a party? So much could go wrong there, too.

This is a hard no, Op. They'll be college age before you know it, don't rush it. Let them enjoy being 16.

Nothing you said remotely answers my question. The PP I was responding to (maybe you, maybe someone else) said she would call CPS or the cops. I asked on what grounds and pointed out that violating hotel policies isn't illegal or something CPS would address.

You post about hotel policies and potential negative outcomes from letting kids do this is an entirely different issue.

Contributing to the delinquency of minors might indeed matter to CPS and the police, Op.

DP. What kind of world do you live in? Or do you actually live in a drone where you watch your kids non stop, helicopter parents have nothing on you. BTW, my then 16 year old went to plenty of sport games on his own. Stayed in B&Bs, with friends, never caused any trouble, never had police called. I leave house for couple of hours, my DD throws a party. Do you ever leave your teens alone, ever? Kids will be kids, they get in trouble, they get in trouble, you droning over them will just make you insane and them incapable of living on their own. Rules that many hotels have for 18 years old not allowing them to stay alone are probably illegal. I bet you I sue them for discrimination, I might win.

Purposely driving your kid 3 hours away, checking them into a hotel under your name and then taking off while they......?? Go to frat parties? Tailgate at football games?? Shack up with hot college guys?

Come on...let's not play dumb.

Nobody is dumb. Teens are teens, I did plenty of partying in the 80s and turned out ok. Don't you think your attitude is why we have young adults who don't know how to do anything on their own? How far is this control going to go? And then you are surprised when they live at home till 36.

I partied in college and turned out fine, too. But, holy heck, there was no way in he** that my parents would have dropped me and my friends off in a hotel room and then taken off.

The fact that anyone even considers this remotely o.k. is appalling. If this is the type of judgment that you model for your kids, you are in for one tough, rocky road...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stayed in hotels alone or with friends all the time from 16-18, but this was in Europe so the rules are probably different.

Kids are the same. American Parents just infantilize their children.

Ummm, having your kids hang out with other HS kids and go to HS related events is not infantilizing them. That is age appropriate.

Checking a group of kids into a hotel room and then sneaking off, leaving them alone so that they can feel free to go party with an older college crowd....is nuts. And not age appropriate.