do you fart in front of your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think its weird if you DONT fart in front of your husband. how uncomfortable to have to live without being able to fart freely in your house. we joke about it, but even without the joking there are times when your tummy just doesn't feel well, and you have to fart. i would never want to have to hide from my husband during those days. peeing is also done freely. pooping we are semi-private. we don't stand there talking to each other, but if for some reason one of us needs to get something out of the bathroom when the other is doing their business its ok to walk in and then quickly exit. and both me and my husband have had food poisoning and have taken care of each other while both ends were "in trouble."

this describe's us EXACTLY.

Same here. What's the big deal? Everyone does it. Although I always tell my husband that my farts smell like roses and I poop pink unicorns. )

I hope the horn comes first and they never ever get stuck sideways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only do I fart, but I've been known to do a dutch oven on him. Of course, the retribution is pretty awful, but sometimes, totally worth it.

we dutch oven all the time under the covers.

My DH did a dutch oven in his sleep the other day, and I almost passed out when I got into bed.

[Anonymous]

Excuse me if this has been asked before, but what is a Dutch Oven?

[Anonymous]

There is a double standard at our house. DH thinks it's appropriate to act as if he's in a frat house while his wife must be trailer trash if she happens to let one slip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me if this has been asked before, but what is a Dutch Oven?

It's when one fart under the covers and hold all the ends of the covers as to not let the smell scape, holding one's partner hostage under the covers to sniff it up.

[Anonymous]

farts and holds, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gross. i don't want to see my wife pee, poop, fart, anything. we use separate bathrooms too. i had an ex-gf queef (spelling?) on me once when I was going south with the mouth. never saw her again.

need to keep some things a mystery.

What is queef?

[Anonymous]

Oh I so do the "silent but deadly" farts, it drives my husband nuts but we can't help but laugh as we choke through it all. He has "big bang" but "no buck" farts. Mine....well, you never know when they'll strike, but when they do..watch out!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I so do the "silent but deadly" farts, it drives my husband nuts but we can't help but laugh as we choke through it all. He has "big bang" but "no buck" farts. Mine....well, you never know when they'll strike, but when they do..watch out!!!

Oh, yeah, the ninja farts... They are the best.

[Anonymous]

He saw me giving birth! What is a fart compared to THAT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gross. i don't want to see my wife pee, poop, fart, anything. we use separate bathrooms too. i had an ex-gf queef (spelling?) on me once when I was going south with the mouth. never saw her again.

need to keep some things a mystery.

What is queef?

if you don't queef, you are not fucking hard enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but think its weird if you DONT fart in front of your husband. how uncomfortable to have to live without being able to fart freely in your house. we joke about it, but even without the joking there are times when your tummy just doesn't feel well, and you have to fart. i would never want to have to hide from my husband during those days. peeing is also done freely. pooping we are semi-private. we don't stand there talking to each other, but if for some reason one of us needs to get something out of the bathroom when the other is doing their business its ok to walk in and then quickly exit. and both me and my husband have had food poisoning and have taken care of each other while both ends were "in trouble."

this describe's us EXACTLY.

Same here. What's the big deal? Everyone does it. Although I always tell my husband that my farts smell like roses and I poop pink unicorns. )

new poster, same here.

During labor, the baby was visible high in my vagina for the first time and the nurse asked DH if he wanted a sneak peak. So he goes around to the back (I was pushing on all fours) JUST as I pooped a little bit! He said, a sneak peak at what, a turd? And I said, in my best Mike Myers accent, "I've got a turtlehead pokin' out!" I was laughing so hard I am surprised the baby didn't fly across the room. Who said nobody laughs during the pushing stage?

PS. lady who gave her DH the "in that case blowjobs are unladylike," do you want to be friends? love it!

[Anonymous]

It's probably the wine I had this evening, but I am ROTFLMAO that people are asking about dutch ovens and queefs. I think the word queef is one of the funniest ever!

This whole topic is amusing. My grandma, who was as ladylike and proper as they come, always used to say "where e're you be, let the wind go free". Words to live by.

[Anonymous]

I lost all sense of modesty when I gave birth.

If I toot, I toot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me if this has been asked before, but what is a Dutch Oven?

It's when one fart under the covers and hold all the ends of the covers as to not let the smell scape, holding one's partner hostage under the covers to sniff it up.

Nasty.