Going to the gym to workout as a first date?

[Anonymous]

My gym has loud heavy metal music, loudly grunting meatheads, and people loudly dropping weights after doing Olympic lifts. There are women there, but I certainly wouldn't ask a woman there for a first date before I had any idea she was into that sorta thing. And it still wouldn't really be a date because I'd be like "don't talk to me for the next hour, I need to get my work done".

[Anonymous]

That doesn’t sound like much fun. Weird idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it weird from the standpoint of how are you actually going to have a conversation with the person? In between sets? While panting on the treadmill? Afterwards over a green smoothie? It just doesn't make sense and says to me that, as PP's noted, it's purely a bizarre weed-out tactic.

It’s very fun and sexy to work out together. If you can get sweaty with someone you’re probably confident and easygoing. Getting physical releases endorphins so you feel great. You can have little competitions which is also really sexy. Much more fun than stuffing chicken parm in your face while you awkwardly ask each other’s favorite color and get heartburn from being stuffed into your Spanx.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I would be offended, but I'd think it was weird. I've done athletic activities like hikes or bike rides on first dates, but the gym seems weird unless it's a specific thing where it will be easy to talk, and I'm having a hard time imagining that. I liked the low-key, casual clothes, little to no make-up idea for first dates (I'm a woman), and I do work out, and I really love doing it with my husband, but I would not think it's a great way to get to know someone on a first date.

[Anonymous]

I dated a woman who the first three dates were either hanging out together at a lake or spring-fed pool. She arranged the first date. I wonder if she just wanted to show off her body and see how I look in swimwear?

[Anonymous]

I'd see this as a red flag. I have no issues with an active first date - hike, lake swimming/tubing group trip, bike picnic. But, a gym first date has me a tad worried about the vanity of the other person. I want someone who will love me for me.

I say this as I'm watching my friend's marriage 15-year crumble. The pair used to run marathons, did crossfit, kept strict paleo for years, and posted numerous bathsuit vacation selfies over the years. Basically, they totally would have gone on a first date to a gym. Almost a year ago, she got diagnosed with cancer, and well she gained a bit of weight and is no longer as active given everything - medical treatments, exhaustion, eating comfort foods, raising 3 kids still. Two weeks, she caught him cheating, and she said when he asked why he said it was because she let herself go since her cancer diagnosis, and that he isn't attracted to anyone over a size 4; she's now a 8/m for the record - so yes larger but not huge. He said the only reason he hasn't asked for a divorce is because of the kids and what his family will think about him leaving his sick wife. She is now in the process of filing for divorce from him.

Thus, I would see it as something negative. A relationship can be built on fitness, but it shouldn't be the core of a long-term relationship as over time things change - injuries, illness, aging in general, family situations that limit time to exercise, etc. You want a partner to be by your side though it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it weird from the standpoint of how are you actually going to have a conversation with the person? In between sets? While panting on the treadmill? Afterwards over a green smoothie? It just doesn't make sense and says to me that, as PP's noted, it's purely a bizarre weed-out tactic.

It’s very fun and sexy to work out together. If you can get sweaty with someone you’re probably confident and easygoing. Getting physical releases endorphins so you feel great. You can have little competitions which is also really sexy. Much more fun than stuffing chicken parm in your face while you awkwardly ask each other’s favorite color and get heartburn from being stuffed into your Spanx.

Chicken parm yummmmmmmmm and way for fun. My DH, DSs, and I might have to have this for dinner tonight. Thanks for the rec!

[Anonymous]

What do you do for a second date, clip your toe nails together, go for his and her waxing's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do for a second date, clip your toe nails together, go for his and her waxing's?

Dental work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gym has loud heavy metal music, loudly grunting meatheads, and people loudly dropping weights after doing Olympic lifts. There are women there, but I certainly wouldn't ask a woman there for a first date before I had any idea she was into that sorta thing. And it still wouldn't really be a date because I'd be like "don't talk to me for the next hour, I need to get my work done".

Woman here, and this is my kind of date. Afterwards we’d go to a Brazilian steakhouse for all you can eat meat.

[Anonymous]

I go to the gym looking like absolute crap to get away from things for a bit and give myself some really important long term self care. So, personally, it ain’t my idea of a good time in terms of a date. However, if two people are into the idea, I don’t see why not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, no. I've never been that hard up for dates I need to literally "work" for attention. Pass.

No one is “working for attention” if they would enjoy this date. It’s no different than if I wouldn’t enjoy going to a museum. Just because it’s not for you doesn’t mean the people who would enjoy it are somehow flawed. But thanks for letting everyone know that you’re a nasty a—hole anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it weird from the standpoint of how are you actually going to have a conversation with the person? In between sets? While panting on the treadmill? Afterwards over a green smoothie? It just doesn't make sense and says to me that, as PP's noted, it's purely a bizarre weed-out tactic.

It’s very fun and sexy to work out together. If you can get sweaty with someone you’re probably confident and easygoing. Getting physical releases endorphins so you feel great. You can have little competitions which is also really sexy. Much more fun than stuffing chicken parm in your face while you awkwardly ask each other’s favorite color and get heartburn from being stuffed into your Spanx.

Do people actually use Spanx?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shallow and transparent

+1

Why? I think it would be a great date. I'm really into fitness and only want to be with someone into fitness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shallow and transparent

+1

Why? I think it would be a great date. I'm really into fitness and only want to be with someone into fitness.

Active first date, yes (hike, walk, kayaking, etc.), going to someone's gym? No thanks.