Reply to Going to the gym to workout as a first date?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'd see this as a red flag.  I have no issues with an active first date - hike, lake swimming/tubing group trip, bike picnic.  But, a gym first date has me a tad worried about the vanity of the other person.  I want someone who will love me for me.

I say this as I'm watching my friend's marriage 15-year crumble.  The pair used to run marathons, did crossfit, kept strict paleo for years, and posted numerous bathsuit vacation selfies over the years.  Basically, they totally would have gone on a first date to a gym.  Almost a year ago, she got diagnosed with cancer, and well she gained a bit of weight and is no longer as active given everything - medical treatments, exhaustion, eating comfort foods, raising 3 kids still.  Two weeks, she caught him cheating, and she said when he asked why he said it was because she let herself go since her cancer diagnosis, and that he isn't attracted to anyone over a size 4; she's now a 8/m for the record - so yes larger but not huge.  He said the only reason he hasn't asked for a divorce is because of the kids and what his family will think about him leaving his sick wife.  She is now in the process of filing for divorce from him.

Thus, I would see it as something negative.  A relationship can be built on fitness, but it shouldn't be the core of a long-term relationship as over time things change - injuries, illness, aging in general, family situations that limit time to exercise, etc.  You want a partner to be by your side though it all.

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