I don’t want to swim, thanks!

[Anonymous]

If they really keep asking just say "look, if you must know I have irritable bowel syndrome and there's a good chance that I will sh!t in your pool because of cool water sensation - so I prefer to sit here thank you"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
(Sigh. Smile) "I hate swimming in this pool. The water is far too chlorinated and cold."

Just tell them the truth, darn it.

Normally I'd make an excuse, but in this case maybe you should just say this. Especially if they have been pestering you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I encourage people to swim because I love the water and find a lot of pleasure in swimming. I want people I care about to know that feeling of coolness and freedom. It's the only exercise I really like, mainly because I don't have to sweat during it! So I may say, come on in! It feels great! But after that I don't bug them about it if they refuse.

They don't need your encouragement, even once. We're all adults, we've been in a pool. We basically get the drill. We know how to assess a situation and get in if we want to or stay out if we want to. You're probably more obnoxious than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I encourage people to swim because I love the water and find a lot of pleasure in swimming. I want people I care about to know that feeling of coolness and freedom. It's the only exercise I really like, mainly because I don't have to sweat during it! So I may say, come on in! It feels great! But after that I don't bug them about it if they refuse.

They don't need your encouragement, even once. We're all adults, we've been in a pool. We basically get the drill. We know how to assess a situation and get in if we want to or stay out if we want to. You're probably more obnoxious than you realize.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just tell them, "Look Bob and Joan, I didn't want to make a big deal about it and it's embarrassing to admit, but my period just likes to show up whenever and unfortunately, it's full of big clots that sneak around my tampon at unpredictable times. I'm guessing no one wants me to be in the pool when one of those bad boys floats out."

Alternatively, you could say, "Look Bob and Joan, I didn't want to make a big deal about it and it's embarrassing to admit, but I'm having a raging genital herpes outbreak at the moment. I'm guessing no one wants THOSE germs in the pool."

Seriously, say something outrageous to shut them the f up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I encourage people to swim because I love the water and find a lot of pleasure in swimming. I want people I care about to know that feeling of coolness and freedom. It's the only exercise I really like, mainly because I don't have to sweat during it! So I may say, come on in! It feels great! But after that I don't bug them about it if they refuse.

They don't need your encouragement, even once. We're all adults, we've been in a pool. We basically get the drill. We know how to assess a situation and get in if we want to or stay out if we want to. You're probably more obnoxious than you realize.

+1

Screw you. The PP said they didn't press or pressure. More room in the pool for the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

I have a different but somewhat similar issue. I recently gained weight due to some health issues and just don't like being in pictures. I'm trying to exercise and eat a healthy diet, but I've still not lost the weight. It's been a hard transition for me because I've always been thin. I've explained to my mother that it's hard for me to see pictures of myself at this weight, but every family get-together she pressures me in front of our extended family to get in the pictures. I get that I'll have to get comfortable with my new body if exercising and eating a healthy diet doesn't help, but I'm not there yet. Another reason I don't like her taking pictures is she has a tendency to display pictures that she looks good in even if everyone else looks terrible. As an example, my sister told my mom to select a picture from her wedding that had my mom, my dad, my sister and I in it, so my sister could have it enlarged and framed. Despite other pictures with us all looking at the camera, she picked one with me looking off to the side with my eyes partially closed because I wasn't ready for the picture because it was the best one of her. She has this on full display in her house. My sister and I laugh about it because this is typical. If she takes an unflattering picture of only me, she says she took it so she can display it as she wishes, and I need to get over it. We recently had another incident of her pressuring me in front of a room full of people to get in pictures. I finally snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone that she doesn't get to decide whether I get in the picture. Everyone's jaws dropped. I'm hoping this will be the end of the constant pressure because she'll be afraid I'll cause a scene. It wasn't my best moment, but if it gets her off my case I'll be thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
(Sigh. Smile) "I hate swimming in this pool. The water is far too chlorinated and cold."

Just tell them the truth, darn it.

Normally I'd make an excuse, but in this case maybe you should just say this. Especially if they have been pestering you.

That's exactly what I'd say, followed by "Stop asking me to go in."

[Anonymous]

Tell them you are allergic to chlorine and other peoples urine. That will shut them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs have a pool in their subdivision. They make a huge deal about everyone swimming in the pool. My husband always makes a huge deal about ME swimming in the pool. The pool is great for DH, great for the kids. It’s far too chlorinated and cold for my enjoyment. I love to sit and chit chat with ILs ( who don’t swim in the pool they demand everyone else swim in) and watch the kids swim. I just don’t wish to swim myself.

But DH and his parents are incessant about my swimming in the pool! If I don’t pack my suit, DH gets upset. If I pack it and don’t swim, everyone is constantly yelling at me to “get in, the water’s great” “you’ll feel better in the water” “just come in!”

I’m tired of repeating no. I’m tired of having to change into a bathing suit. I’m tired of the argument if forget my suit. I’m tired of the pestering.

How can I shut them down for good?

This is what my ILs do only about drinking.

[Anonymous]

Just scream out, "NO THANKS I HAVE MY PERIOD" to your FIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a different but somewhat similar issue. I recently gained weight due to some health issues and just don't like being in pictures. I'm trying to exercise and eat a healthy diet, but I've still not lost the weight. It's been a hard transition for me because I've always been thin. I've explained to my mother that it's hard for me to see pictures of myself at this weight, but every family get-together she pressures me in front of our extended family to get in the pictures. I get that I'll have to get comfortable with my new body if exercising and eating a healthy diet doesn't help, but I'm not there yet. Another reason I don't like her taking pictures is she has a tendency to display pictures that she looks good in even if everyone else looks terrible. As an example, my sister told my mom to select a picture from her wedding that had my mom, my dad, my sister and I in it, so my sister could have it enlarged and framed. Despite other pictures with us all looking at the camera, she picked one with me looking off to the side with my eyes partially closed because I wasn't ready for the picture because it was the best one of her. She has this on full display in her house. My sister and I laugh about it because this is typical. If she takes an unflattering picture of only me, she says she took it so she can display it as she wishes, and I need to get over it. We recently had another incident of her pressuring me in front of a room full of people to get in pictures. I finally snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone that she doesn't get to decide whether I get in the picture. Everyone's jaws dropped. I'm hoping this will be the end of the constant pressure because she'll be afraid I'll cause a scene. It wasn't my best moment, but if it gets her off my case I'll be thrilled.

I'm sorry. As someone who is also much heavier than I used to be after having several kids -- though I was never thin, just normal weight -- I sympathize. However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I know you're trying not to draw attention to yourself, etc, but insisting on not getting in the pictures is worse than just gracefully being in them.

I look fat and horrible in all my recent pictures. I know it, my husband knows it, the only ones who don't know it are my kids who are too young to realize. But I know in a few years I would feel worse about not having any pictures with the kids when they're young -- or if, G-d forbid, anything happens to me -- than I would about being fat.

[Anonymous]

“It’s too cold for me, but I always love having a chat with you!”

Have you directly told your DH why you don’t like that pool?

[Anonymous]

Answer once and then ignore after that. Don’t acknowledge, don’t try making a joke, just turn and people watch it get up and do something - walk over to the pool edge and take a photo or something ..

[Anonymous]

However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I don't agree that just living my life includes getting in pictures that I don't want to be in. I'm not overweight but have a somewhat unusual looking face due to a cleft palate repair. I honestly don't think about how my face looks all that much unless I see a picture of myself - I don't want to be in pictures, it makes me feel much, much worse than I otherwise would.