What is so wonderful about having children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, some women (not all because I am a sensitive person) after having children lose their own identity. I have 3 kids but even I can’t stand many other moms because I find them boring.

That being said, many people are rude, men and women and put down others’ lifestyles which they don’t understand. Even if you have kids, you’d find people going on and on about the way THEY parent v your way.

Sounds like a you problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

I don’t get people who think it’s rewarding. You find it rewarding or satisfying to tear from your vag to your a-hole while pushing it out, only to have to clean pee and poop for years, end up with a stretched out vag, spend $250k raising it only to realize your spawn is so very average and can’t get into a decent college to support itself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking here because you're doubting your decision?

Or are you feeling defensive and trying to prove a point / start a battle?

If it's the first one, I will come back and write out a long, genuine, and emotional answer. If it's the second, then just own your decision and tell people it's not up for debate, but thanks for sharing, you're happy they're happy.

I don’t see anything wrong with OP’s question. You seem to be the only one that has a problem with it. Defensive much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really not a person who says this - normally, in fact, I’m the least cheesy person on the planet. But you really can’t understand until you have it. It’s kind of impossible to explain. And I mean this in the kindest way possible because I totally understand how people do not want children.

I don’t think it’s impossible to explain, just like I don’t think it’s a fact that you are the least cheesy person on the planet. You just don’t have a good answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, some women (not all because I am a sensitive person) after having children lose their own identity. I have 3 kids but even I can’t stand many other moms because I find them boring.

That being said, many people are rude, men and women and put down others’ lifestyles which they don’t understand. Even if you have kids, you’d find people going on and on about the way THEY parent v your way.

This is so true. The unsolicited advice won’t end, it will only increase. Not to mention interference from in-laws, problems in relationship with spouse are exasperated (or it ends altogether, essentially leaving the woman a single mother), and the likelihood of having a special needs child puts the nail in the coffin for the argument for NOT having kids if you currently love the life you have now.

[Anonymous]

really

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s so wonderful? You help a human enjoy all the things of life for the first time and it’s kinda like reliving it. You have a super strong bond with a person. Super Strong. It’s a fun project for later in life when other things aren’t as interesting anymore. But there’s lots of other things to life and it’s completely not necessary. There are negatives too, like no time for yourself and the cost. Having a kid you don’t want would be hard. Be honest with yourself about your desires and don’t cave to pressure. People say this stuff for weird reasons.

You could say just as many negative comments about life in general. But is life not worth living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really not a person who says this - normally, in fact, I’m the least cheesy person on the planet. But you really can’t understand until you have it. It’s kind of impossible to explain. And I mean this in the kindest way possible because I totally understand how people do not want children.

I don’t think it’s impossible to explain, just like I don’t think it’s a fact that you are the least cheesy person on the planet. You just don’t have a good answer.

Sure I do. It is unbelievable walking a person through all stages of life. Seeing a little person who resembles you physically and emotionally making their way in the world. Having that heart-stopping unconditional love for a helpless little person and watching them grow into their own. To me all these things sound ridiculous until you experience them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

I don’t get people who think it’s rewarding. You find it rewarding or satisfying to tear from your vag to your a-hole while pushing it out, only to have to clean pee and poop for years, end up with a stretched out vag, spend $250k raising it only to realize your spawn is so very average and can’t get into a decent college to support itself?

Do you have kids? I think you misunderstood me.

I get why people might opt out of having them (especially because of the expense, as you noted). However, for those who do, I don't get the people who regret it and don't find it rewarding. Don't you love your kids? Isn't that enough by itself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

I don’t get people who think it’s rewarding. You find it rewarding or satisfying to tear from your vag to your a-hole while pushing it out, only to have to clean pee and poop for years, end up with a stretched out vag, spend $250k raising it only to realize your spawn is so very average and can’t get into a decent college to support itself?

Do you have kids? I think you misunderstood me.

I get why people might opt out of having them (especially because of the expense, as you noted). However, for those who do, I don't get the people who regret it and don't find it rewarding. Don't you love your kids? Isn't that enough by itself?

This is so both naive and troll-y, it’s impressive.

No one knows what parenting is like, until you’re a parent. And then, you aren’t left with many choices but to mlive your life the best way you can.

Love, frustration, regret... all different emotions and aren’t exclusive of one another. Likewise joy, grief, sadness..

Humans have an amazing ability to feel a lot of things all at once.

How many times do you read on here about divorcing couples? Is love enough?

People who have to cut off parents or inlaws for racism, favouritism, etc. Is love enough?

Whether it’s your child or parent, love doesn’t define what other things your relationship will be defined by. Blood doesn’t determine it. Life does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking here because you're doubting your decision?

Or are you feeling defensive and trying to prove a point / start a battle?

If it's the first one, I will come back and write out a long, genuine, and emotional answer. If it's the second, then just own your decision and tell people it's not up for debate, but thanks for sharing, you're happy they're happy.

I don’t see anything wrong with OP’s question. You seem to be the only one that has a problem with it. Defensive much?

Not defensive, I had he same thought. OP keeps saying she is purposely asking women who have children - so I am wondering: are you asking because you're reconsidering your position?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

I don’t get people who think it’s rewarding. You find it rewarding or satisfying to tear from your vag to your a-hole while pushing it out, only to have to clean pee and poop for years, end up with a stretched out vag, spend $250k raising it only to realize your spawn is so very average and can’t get into a decent college to support itself?

You very obviously don't have children. Why so bitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s fun. You get to re-experience things you did as a child.


What if the things you liked doing as a child are things you do now as an adult? When I look back on my happiest times as a child they were playing with my dog, reading, baking, traveling and going to plays. I can do all those things now.

NP who feels the same way. For me, it's not so much the doing of those things, it's experiencing them again through a child's eyes -- the newness, discovery, and enthusiasm for life. It's the joy of sharing those loves with a new person you love dearly. It's being reintroduced to things you may no longer have an interest in and remembering how fun they were, or being introduced to new things based on your child's inclinations. In the past year, I've had great fun playing in kid/parent kickball games, attempting a back dive again for the first time in 20 years, catching minnows, designing new board games, attempting to double dutch jump rope, inventing and making crazy ice cream flavors, and creating obstacle courses for our dog. None of those are things I probably would have found myself doing without kids, but they all brought great joy. And then there was the joy of taking my kids backpacking for the first time, teaching them to build and cook over a fire, listening to the night sounds and looking at the stars. Those are things I can appreciate doing on my own, but experiencing them through my children's eyes is like discovering them for the first time all over again. This is not to mention the unique joy of watching them grow and develop into kind, interesting people, or the sense of love and well-being I derive from our close little family unit. That's not to say you can't get the later from friends and extended family, but those relationships are typically strongest within a nuclear family, and for most people are very meaningful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married late in life and have no desire to have children. DH has children from previous marriage. When other women learn that I dyes them to have children, they immediately launch into sermons about how I need to give my husband a child, having children is so rewarding, etc. I don't understand why so many women do this. What is so wonderful about having children that women feel the need to convince me to have them?

Like any part of life, each person and couple feels differently. I believe that children are a gift from God and I love my kids and wanted kids from a young age - but I would never tell another couple that they MUST have children or a wife MUST give her husband a child!! The decisions you and your husband make are yours - if you're both happy and enjoying your marriage and life then just ignore those busybodies! Nod and smile and thank them for their advice "I'll take it under consideration" serves me well when I have gotten advice about how to raise my special needs children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people who don’t think it’s rewarding. You don’t find it rewarding or satisfying to watch your kids turn into real people with their own interests, talents, abilities, quirks, etc.? I find the whole thing fascinating. It’s so interesting to watch it happening and know you had a pretty strong hand in their development.

I don’t get people who think it’s rewarding. You find it rewarding or satisfying to tear from your vag to your a-hole while pushing it out, only to have to clean pee and poop for years, end up with a stretched out vag, spend $250k raising it only to realize your spawn is so very average and can’t get into a decent college to support itself?

You very obviously don't have children. Why so bitter?